Missing a school period weekly for a therapy appointment?

[Anonymous]

I did made therapy appointments for both my kids during the school day with both my kids. Their mental health is more important than any academics, and they can't be successful academically while suffering from mental health or trauma. Similarly, their mental health benefitted from team sports and extra-currics and I certainly wasn't going to make them give that up for therapy. Disabled kids have the same right to benefit from sports and extras that non-disabled kids do.

A parent note stating that DC had a medical appointment was all that I needed to give DC.

I asked for an accommodation in the plan (one kid had 504, the other had IEP) for "hand-scheduling". This basically meant that the counselor, in consultation with me and DC, would arrange the schedule so that DC would miss something less important while at therapy. DC didn't have a free or advisory period, so it was usually a class that was a strength or with a teacher known to be cooperative or something non-academic like art.

The IEP kid already had accommodations for extra-time and "rescheduling of deadlines" so missing class wasn't a big deal.

The 504 DC was highly academic, taking (by DC's choice) a ton of AP and IB classes. Dropping those would have made DC's mental health worse. But, we were still able to hand-schedule and get a "rescheduling of deadlines" accommodation. That DC did not need extra time to do things but rather rescheduling deadlines around therapy.

The 504 team was not cooperative in the beginning, but we refused to sign the 504 meeting outcome and told the school we would be back with a lawyer, as the school used the wrong legal standard to determine 504 eligibility. The school fixed things before we had to hire the lawyer.

The IEP had accommodations in place long before HS, so that DC had a cooperative IEP team.

However, even with official accommodations, teachers and admin staff used to hassle the kids a lot. One attendance counselor chastised DC at every attendance sign in , even though that DC had an excusal note every time. Security guards also felt free to lecture them when they came in late - even with a note. And, we had one particularly ugly incident when a teacher cornered my DD and demanded to know why she always missed her class, told DD that she was making up stuff to get out of work, and refused to let DD make up missed assignments because she had been in school that day even if not in the class and so, from that teacher's point of view (wrongly), wasn't entitled to any make-ups. All these problems were solved with clearly written letters informing the school principal about the disability discrimination and legal non-compliance, but it was, of course, stressful for DC #1. DC#2 had the benefit of seeing DC #1 win these fights, so when the same happened to him, he had more confidence to blow it off. DC 1 really took a lot on the chin.

The decisions we made to do this were the correct ones. Both DCs went to colleges that were appropriate for them, both are mentally healthy, independent and resilient. I was honestly worried in HS about self-harm and that perhaps one wouldn't graduate or go to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The absence be excused. However, your child may need to make up missed work. And even if they don’t have make up missed assignments, they will miss a considerable amount of instruction and may not grasp what they need in order to be successful in that or subsequent courses. Get a specialized tutor to help address those gaps.

If this is the case, they should have a "copy of class notes" accommodation.

[Anonymous]

We were in a phase where mental health was by far the priority over academics, so she was late once a week. Once we were out of crisis mode we were able to get other therapy times and focus back on school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The absence be excused. However, your child may need to make up missed work. And even if they don’t have make up missed assignments, they will miss a considerable amount of instruction and may not grasp what they need in order to be successful in that or subsequent courses. Get a specialized tutor to help address those gaps.

If this is the case, they should have a "copy of class notes" accommodation.

Not all class notes are created equal. Often they're fairly useless without the accompanying lecture and discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ideal, but we’ve done it before (DC and Fairfax counties). You can talk to the therapist and ask that they put you on the list for an after school appointment when one opens up.

And, since it will be a lot of missed school periods you’ll need to talk to the school.

??

When a kid needs therapy, they need therapy. Depending on the type, it can be very hard to get off the waitlist. This is unrelated but I am currently on a waitlist for ADHD evaluations, and it's been more than 6 months. If the only time they have is during the school day, you have to do what you have to do. For something this important, you attack it immediately because you never know what will happen.

OP -- I'd suggest trying to aim for lunchtime, advisory, or a class where your student is not only strong but where it isn't hard to catch up. Assuming the school is on a 5 day, 7 period schedule, missing ~45 minutes of, say, English for something this pertinent can easily be done. That's a high priority. And if there's a test or something, the student and teacher can make arrangements. Best of luck to your child.

I didn’t mean they shouldn’t do it, just that hopefully it’s a temporary (even if it’s 6-12months) solution rather than permanent.

My child has significant special needs, so I know therapy is important and sometimes takes priority over school. That doesn’t mean that it’s an ideal or perfect solution, and even though we’ve done it, we’ve never been able to do it via video (because my child won’t engage effectively), so it was a HUGE amount of missing school and work for it. Getting on the providers waitlist for an after school appt was very important, and for us didn’t take too long because they gave existing patients priority for those appointments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ideal, but we’ve done it before (DC and Fairfax counties). You can talk to the therapist and ask that they put you on the list for an after school appointment when one opens up.

And, since it will be a lot of missed school periods you’ll need to talk to the school.

??

When a kid needs therapy, they need therapy. Depending on the type, it can be very hard to get off the waitlist. This is unrelated but I am currently on a waitlist for ADHD evaluations, and it's been more than 6 months. If the only time they have is during the school day, you have to do what you have to do. For something this important, you attack it immediately because you never know what will happen.

OP -- I'd suggest trying to aim for lunchtime, advisory, or a class where your student is not only strong but where it isn't hard to catch up. Assuming the school is on a 5 day, 7 period schedule, missing ~45 minutes of, say, English for something this pertinent can easily be done. That's a high priority. And if there's a test or something, the student and teacher can make arrangements. Best of luck to your child.

Ask here for better options - I have had two kids tested for ADHD since July plus a psychiatrist appointment for one. That’s too long to wait.

Those “arrangements” can be hard to make and can just cause more anxiety for kids who are already struggling. It’s wise to weigh which is worse - missing instruction and having to make up work, or waiting longer to start therapy. The answer will be different for each kid and each scenario.