How much beating around the bush should you expect from ES counselor?

[Anonymous]

Why not just ask the school counselor? All you're doing is creating scenarios to hurt your own feelings...

[Anonymous]

What's your angle here? Do you think your son actually has problems and the counselor is trying to intervene with a lunch bunch group but lying to you by saying he's the "role model peer"? What purpose would that serve?

Just trying to understand better...

[Anonymous]

Help me understand what your concern is. So you think the counselor is lying to you? For what purpose?

[Anonymous]

ES counselors are totally useless. Go with your gut and get an evaluation.

[Anonymous]

If you think your child may have adhd and / or Lds, you need to set up an evaluation. Please do not wait and see in 2nd grade. Then at least you will know for sure what is going on. These comments/ suggestions from the school will be a lot easier to process if you have correct information. A neuropsych will provide much more valuable info than a school counselor ever will.

[Anonymous]

I am confused what the issue is. Can you explain further?

This all sounds very benign to me.

[Anonymous]

Yikes on the pediatrician who told the parents of an ADHD/LD kid to "watch and wait". Earlier is better for intervention, particularly if you suspect SLD.

2nd grade is old enough for a full neuropsych and your pediatrician should have told you to get one ASAP.

A school will *never* tell parents they suspect a certain diagnosis (even if they do). They will just wait until he is so far behind or getting into such trouble that he either gets bad grades or gets in trouble. Then they will tell you he is not that smart and disobediant and you are a helicopter parent who can't accept that their own kid is less than perfect.


You are a parent. You know your kid best. If you at all suspect ADHD or SLD, get your kid properly assessed, don't wait for someone else's permission or suggestion. You are the expert in your kid.

[Anonymous]

Get your kid assessed. Not really sure what your issue is with the lunch bunch group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School counselors will set up social groups with students who are receiving services and other students to help out. I wouldn't expect that she's lying to you. Why are you so distrustful?

+ 1. Both my kids have participated in this. Neither has LD or challenges. It’s called lunch bunch and is very common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is in 2nd grade and we suspect he may have ADD/ADHD as well as potentially a LD. We've talked about it previously with the school and his pediatrician, all who have advised a watch and wait approach.

Today I received a call from the school counselor asking if I would allow my son to participate in a small group of students that will meet with her once a week over lunch. She shared that the group was for kids experiencing social issues and that my son (being the talkative, super friendly kid he is) could help others participate and come out of their shell. I asked her directly if he was being included due to concerns specific to him and she emphatically replied no.

This didn't make any sense so I asked who else was in the group and she shared the names of 3 other kids, 1 of whom I know well, who also has similar challenges to DS. I reached out to that kid's parents and they got the same spiel about the kid being a leader, etc and that he was there to help others, which we both now know is not entirely the case.

I know the public school system has to be careful about communication about these types of things, but I can't help but feel incredibly misled by the counselor. I'm a straight shooter and if she hadn't couched his participation in the group in such a bizarre way I would have immediately shared my concerns with her. (TBH, I never viewed DS's challenges as social and have no idea what has been documented or shared from pervious conferences over the last 2 years.)

I know some parents can be touchy about the subject and educators need to tread lightly, but come on! I plan to follow-up tomorrow but wanted to know if this is typical behavior in public schools today?

I can't believe she disclosed to you the names of the other studentd In the group that have social issues. That's a huge privacy violation and I would report that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a school psychologist.

It's very possible that there are two "role model" kids (your son, the kid whose parents you talked to) and two kids who are the 'target' of the lunch bunch, why are you incredulous about that? That's like school counseling/support 101, when you run small groups you never want to have JUST the shy/awkward kids in a social skills group, or just the impulsive/ADHD kids in a group related to making choices, or just the kids with anxiety/depression in a coping skills group, etc. Peer models are a super important part of the process; the specific percent of group make-up varies by practitioner but I was trained that at least half of a small group should consist of peer models.

The thing does concern me is that she shared the names of the other kids. That's not OK.

DP. I get this but once the group stay, it won't be a secret anymore, OP's DC will know the other kids and may report back to his parents. For a group like this, keeping the names private seems silly.

No. Your son reporting back to you is a different scenario than a mental health professional reporting the named of people who need services to you.
As for the size of the group- that's irrelevant. If your child is pushed by another student at school they will tell you what happened but they will not tell you the name. Even when the groupnis your son and one other person.