She is paid extremely well. She’s outstanding in every way. She always goes above and beyond and we don’t want to lose her. |
This is really smart. I’m going to suggest this. |
Make sure they know how to use Siri or some other voice activated AI so they can call 911 or you in case of emergency.
Also can she hire a geriatric care manager who she can call in emergencies? |
Similarly. I was going to suggest link to life. I have no idea if link to life and similar systems are more robust if there are power outages, but these are issues that I’d consider when choosing a system.m |
Right??? Everyone I know in these gigs has a second job or this is their second job. |
And who will be the contact person for that? Neighbors, even the kindest neighbors, will burn out if emergencies happen too often and they have their own jobs/families/health issues. |
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You can hire people to do pretty much anything you want, and a person “on duty” in the daytime and “on call” at night (possibly with a check in) is a workable model in some situations. The whole point of a “live in” is that they live-in. Think of an au pair or nanny but for an adult. Good point on the valuables. |
So my limited experience with this-my folks had 24 hr coverage with an aide, temporarily, after they both went to rehab last year (dad fell, knocking down mom and she broke her hip). I found a local agency and we had 3 aides, 8 hr shift each.
After about 3 weeks, a hurricane came near (Ian, we're in FL). The agency called me and said, we won't be providing staffing for the next 24 hours, possibly longer. In our case, I live very close by (I do work fulltime and am still parenting a dc which is why we had to hire help) so dc and I stayed with them until the storm passed and young adult dc stayed when they weren't at work until the aides came back. All this to say-in our case, weather did affect getting coverage. OP, the person in your case needs to be in a nursing home. Even paying well and with a reputable agency, it's very hard to get people. |
We've had caregivers for close to 15 years. We started out with only 4 hours per day. We've only had 2 things missing in that time and I suspect Dad may have given one thing away. One item was a reproduction metal toy. I think someone may have thought this was worth $5000 while it was worth "0". I think Dad may have given it to one of the caregivers. The bigger problem by far is that the caregivers have been rough on things. I had wood trim cracking in the house because they were running the heat at 85 degrees and it was so hot it cracked the wood trim. I had to put a regulator on the thermostat after that. I've had caregivers spray windex on the wood dining room table to clean it. The wood table that had some value is no worth "0". We removed all rugs to make the house safer. Our chairs had wood floor protectors on the bottom but we've had several caregivers close to 500 pounds. It doesn't matter if you have protectors on the bottom of the chairs the weight of a 500 pound person will cause gouges in your wood floor when they use the chairs. If you have finer things in the house I'd recommend moving the finer things out and distribute to family or sell these items and replace with Rooms To Go furniture or cheapo Wayfair furniture. |
Thanks for sharing your experience. This is what I suspected. Staying with her is not at all an option for me. I’m not comfortable providing the physical care she needs (diapering, heavy lifting, etc) nor is her home set up for anybody to sleep there. She has no guest room and not even a sofa bed. Should she decide to hire a live-in, there is lots of work that will be required but maybe that is the compromise. I know the nursing home was miserable but sadly that’s the level of care she requires. |
could you consider moving her to a nursing home near you? That way you could check in from time to time to make sure she was getting good care. Maybe this would help her get there on the nursing home. |
She was actually in one just a few miles down the road from me. She was miserable though and many of her friends encouraged her to move back to her home with aides once she was no longer eligible for PT there. She feels her quality of life is so much better at home and I can’t argue that fact. It’s quiet, she has responsive caregivers and she has better meals. The nursing home frequently left her in dirty diapers, failed to give meds on time and she lost a lot of weight because she didn’t like the food served. But while I can appreciate her wanting to be at home, it’s just a huge risk. I’m going to take the advice of someone above who suggested registering with multiple agencies to increase the odds of finding coverage if her aide falls through. But I think eventually she will find herself in a situation without an aide for an extended period and realize that the nursing home really is best. |