Son’s girlfriend followed him to college

[Anonymous]

This trope has played out a million times. You know that. The toxic high school relationship likely ends soon. Or he may “waste” his 4 years on her and really regret it. He’ll likely learn something from it. Or he may marry her and divorce quickly. Those are the 3 stories we all know. The only thing you worry about it being the parent who loved and supported kid the whole time (in any scenario) or the parent who made things harder and eventually ruined your relationship with him. That’s all you control

[Anonymous]

Same thing happened with one of my DC’s friends and his girlfriend. Lots of high school couples break up in college so at this point, OP, that’s what you’ll need to hope for.

[Anonymous]

I know. I think we are already dealing with the common enemy thing. I think I need to change my whole approach but I don’t even know where to begin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much to get into but it’s a really toxic relationship and she is terrible for him. I know I can’t choose his partner but I don’t want to pay to support it.

Proof that she's actually not that bad. DCUM is the place to spill, OP, but you realize you don't have the reasons you'd need to threaten withholding college funds.

Not OP, but there are so many young people who are high drama, guilt tripping, mentally unstable, physically sickly, what not… it used to be something people would try to overcome but now it’s a badge of honor.
My kid is still in MS but I see it so much with younger colleagues. A “highly sensitive” person who keeps having migraines, or depression, or needs emotional support or what not - and the poor sucker of their partner trying to be their cure and missing opportunities large and small.
I am envisioning something like this in the OP’s case.

[Anonymous]

I hope you get exactly what you deserve.

[Anonymous]

They’ll probably break up in college. Most kids do. He’ll likely want to be rid of her once he sees all the fun to be had! Nothing you can do or say, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

The best approach is to kill her with kindness but it requires a lot of guts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much to get into but it’s a really toxic relationship and she is terrible for him. I know I can’t choose his partner but I don’t want to pay to support it.

Proof that she's actually not that bad. DCUM is the place to spill, OP, but you realize you don't have the reasons you'd need to threaten withholding college funds.

Not OP, but there are so many young people who are high drama, guilt tripping, mentally unstable, physically sickly, what not… it used to be something people would try to overcome but now it’s a badge of honor.
My kid is still in MS but I see it so much with younger colleagues. A “highly sensitive” person who keeps having migraines, or depression, or needs emotional support or what not - and the poor sucker of their partner trying to be their cure and missing opportunities large and small.
I am envisioning something like this in the OP’s case.

So. Just FYI. Sunday morning is prime troll time because they know that Jeff likes to relax and have time off, like any normal person.

There are plenty of "relationship" threads this morning that reek of trolling.

Don't waste your sympathy, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Extremely controlling and forbid him going out with friends, uses cocaine-not sure how regularly, cheats on him but he also cheats on her. Is really rude and unfriendly to his entire family, is all over him in front of us. Is that enough? Not to mention how she dresses and presents herself. Her parents are divorced and I don’t think she has had a lot of supervision but that’s not my problem. Just not what I want for my son.

are they going to a big public state U?

[Anonymous]

Yes big state. And no I’m not a troll but I wish I was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes big state. And no I’m not a troll but I wish I was.

what type of student is your DS in high school?
I'm wondering if doing well and getting great grades will be a (time-consuming) motivator in college.

[Anonymous]

I only have a 13yo but I understand where you are coming from. I think you can only sit back and let it play out. If you’ve raised him well enough, he’ll have the sense to leave her.

[jsteele]

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1133257.page