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Working mom and no guilt - am I alone?
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Anonymous
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You would only feel guilty if you thought it was wrong and obviously you don't feel it is wrong.
Nothing wrong with being happy with your life. |
Anonymous
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That was nicely put.
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Anonymous
| No guilt, but, like a PP said, some sadness. I have a good/interesting career. While I would prefer to work PT, we can't do that right now financially, so I pretty much have to work FT. so no guilt, per se. I often miss my DD terribly during the day and look forward to sweeping her up in my arms when I pick her up from preschool. She is a nightowl so we do get a long (sometimes too long) evening together, plus weekends. I think that if she went to bed early I would not be able to (emotionally) handle working FT even if I like my job. On the other hand, on the weekends, I do feel guilty if I don't spend enough time with her, so I suppose that may count as some "residual" guilt...and as a result, there is very little "me" or "couples" time... |
Anonymous
| Like PP I'm a SAHM and I too feel guilty that I'm not putting my extensive education to use or setting a good example for my kids. I was good and what I did and felt that I was giving back to the community (although financially it wouldn't pay for the cost of two kids in daycare). Fortunately in my field I could probably go back anytime without much struggle and I plan to do so when my kiddos are both in school in a few years. But I worry that I'm losing my skills (and my mind!) |
Anonymous
| When I worked FT I didn't feel at all guilty. And it was frankly much easier than staying home! |
Anonymous
Same here. It's like I hear there stories about moms having a near breakdown when their child goes off to college. My mom was like - dorms open this week, are you packed? It wasn't that she didn't love me or miss me, she just saw going off to school as one step on the road to independence and I was at that stage where I felt like I was an adult and didn't need to have curfew etc. - going to campus when the dorms opened was good for both of us 
As for guilt over education etc. if you are SAHM - I have known lots of people to decide to stay at home that went to expensive colleges, had good careers etc. I think a lot plays into that decision. For some that always dreamed of being able to stay home with their kids and during the working years may have saved up money with that it mind, I don't think a good education is being wasted. These days you look at the teachers in preschool and there are probably quite a few that have college degrees - think Montessori credential requirements, I think NAEYC is upping their requirements etc. For others either SAHM or WOHM isn't a choice - if can't afford to cover X kids in daycare in your job field, or have expenses that require two full-time salaries, or have a spouse with a demanding career i.e. late nights, lots of travel etc. - you have to do what makes sense for your family. There are also people that choose to be WOHM and that situation works well for the family. With the whole SAHM and WOHM debates etc. my thought is that you don't expect your kids to be the same people. I have two daughters and they have different personalities. They have different strengths. I may need to use different say potty training strategies with one versus the other. Why do we keep expecting moms to all be the same people and have the same personalities etc. and that one thing will work best for all mothers and the same for all kids? |
Anonymous
| No guilt here either. Actually, I even turned down my employers' offer to work part time after DD's birth...My job is really interesting and I like coming to it every day. |
Anonymous
| I am a sahm and think it is important to note that the reason I decided to stay at home had nothing to do with guilt. I really wanted to be with my children every day. I wanted to see the milestones myself. Hear them say mama or dadda first. I do not think guilt should be a part of raising a child. If you make a better mom working, go for it, if you make a better mom staying home, go for it. To each their own. Who says someone should feel guilty about staying home b/c they have a great degree or working. I have frineds that whould hate my life, and they are great moms. Some work full time, some work part time. It works for their family. No guilt. |
Anonymous
| I'm a mom who works full time and I also don't feel guilty about it. Sometimes I feel guilty about being excited to go to work. Everyone there wipes their own nose, gets their own food and doesn't require assistance going to the bathroom. It's a nice break while I'm a work since I only have to worry about me. When I get home, I have to take care of everyone there - kids, husband and the dog. |
Anonymous
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no guilt for working, though I do miss DS at various points during the day. and I do feel bad that I don't get much time with him on weekday evenings, except to feed him his last meal of the day and get him ready for bed. BUT, I do enjoy having time away from him, where I can complete work-related tasks that have nothing to do with raising a child. plus, I really do think that being a SAHM can be much harder than being a working mom. in my 5 months of maternity leave, I was totally drained. I felt isolated, like I wanted to hang out with people and talk about something other than our kids. being at work, I know that I'll usually have a lunch hour to myself, during which I can go to the gym and have some "me time."
I love the day care where my DS is, and it's obvious he loves it, too. though, I admit, that I do feel sometimes jealous of the "other woman in his life (his teacher). DS is 9 months, by the way. |
Anonymous
| How many dads feel guilty about working outside the home? I don't personally know of any. And I certaily don't think I'm any less enetitled to a career because of my gender. |
Anonymous
LMAO. I hope at least your husband is potty trained. |
Anonymous
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When I was a teenager, I wished for my mom to go back to work -- she had obviously been so much happier working. I'll never forget that -- a happy mom helps make for happy children.
I love my job and don't feel guilty about working. I do feel a responsibility to convince all my male colleagues that women can be "trusted" to make good employees. They all have experience with women deciding to stay home after their children are born. I am worried that women will never have access equal opportunity or pay because of these experiences. |