What is it with people you knew 20-30 years ago reaching out and trying to start relationships with married people?

[Anonymous]

OP is probably misinterpreting the poor people trying to reconnect as friends.

She has developed paranoia and is descending into madness.

[Anonymous]

This and obituaries is the only thing keeping Facebook in business anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP is probably misinterpreting the poor people trying to reconnect as friends.

She has developed paranoia and is descending into madness.

I didn't misinterpret the guy who grabbed my thigh under the table (from across the table) at a reunion, did I?

A guy I never dated but thought was just a friend all those years ago.

I've had enough of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to a friends husband. Ex gf reached out through Facebook. Now my friend is going through a divorce because he left for the ex. When my friend found out she wanted to make it work but he didn’t want to try. It’s so sad and has gotten ugly. Both have kids.

I have a friend who this also happened to, over 20 years ago! It wrecked my friend's life. The H at first laughed it off, then the ex moved across country to live near my friend and her husband, then they ended up in counseling because he was communicating with the ex, then they split up and he moved the ex in. After the divorce he married the ex and they are still married. My friend never got over her life being stolen right out from under her.

What a freaking psycho and a garbage husband. They deserve each other and I hope your friend has the best life she can have!

Your assessment of him and her are right on target. My friend lived with this pain, alone, until last year when she died of cancer. I'm sure her ex was happy to not have to pay alimony anymore when he heard that news.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It used to be hard to find old flames, now it's easy, and even easier to privately get in touch with them, you know, without calling them on the family landline or sending a letter that appears in their mailbox. That's why it's happening more often.

I also find it odd, though, that is happening to you and your spouse regularly, I don't think that's typical.

It started happening when mutual friends started getting divorced. Misery loves company, I guess?

I am hoping that once they get used to being single again, they can move on to actual single people or even dating websites.

[Anonymous]

Losers on Facebook. One of the many reasons I’m not on that crap and have a private Instagram account with just family members and very close friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now I’m wondering what’s wrong with me that no one has ever explicitly offered to have an affair with me.

This…doesn’t seem like a normal thing, OP. You’re sick of the asks? Truly, how many could there be?

I feel seen! Yeah, I’ve never had anyone even implicitly try to have an affair with me. Is there some sort of list I need to be on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now I’m wondering what’s wrong with me that no one has ever explicitly offered to have an affair with me.

This…doesn’t seem like a normal thing, OP. You’re sick of the asks? Truly, how many could there be?

I feel seen! Yeah, I’ve never had anyone even implicitly try to have an affair with me. Is there some sort of list I need to be on?

OP and her DH are giving off slutty swinger vibes.

[Anonymous]

Very normal. Particularly when Facebook was still a thing and people were connecting with former whatevers they hadn't seen in 15-20-25 years.

A lot of things linger. And the things that linger tend to look for resolution. And fantasy. And escape. And all that.

Probably not much today since Facebook is dead and people are more self-aware. But it was definitely an issue for a decade or so.

Think people are more careful today.