Anyone’s spouse work weekends?
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Anonymous
You see, make it work like this! *waves hands wildly and randomly in the air* |
Anonymous
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My H has worked shift work, weekends, etc.
Weekends he did morning and night routine for the kids, when he came home from work we did things together in the evening just like people do during the week. He volunteered at schools, he did all the shopping because stores are empty Wednesdays after drop off. We always took 1 day off a month to spend together even when he worked weeks. His day's off he would make dinner and we would give the kids a movie so we could act like it was a date night. The 2 days he was off W/Th were his downtime, me time, etc with nobody home all day.. run a few errands, throw in some laundry, make dinner.. easy. |
Anonymous
| My husband and I are nurses and we have always worked oddball shifts. Kids are used to it and it is normal. Yes, you will work it out. |
Anonymous
My best friend is a nurse. Earlier in her career, she worked night shift, which for her was three 12-hour shifts per week, frequently at least one of them on the weekend. They have 3 kids, and she worked that schedule from when the oldest was about 6 months old to when the youngest was about 6 months old, at which point she shifted to an outpatient job that has daytime, weekday hours. They "made it work" as follows: - Her hospital shift was 7-7, and she took the kids to daycare when she got home from work and then slept from 9-3 or so. She picked them up from daycare and fed them dinner, then went to work. - Her husband worked 8-5 but committed to covering holidays, school closures, sickness, etc. and her sleep during the day if she was working the following night was prioritized. If he was sick, she covered, but she was not the primary parent for childcare during those years. Your kids are old enough that they will be able to spend time with their dad outside the usual hours. You will develop new weekend routines. I had a job that required me to work Saturdays for a year and a half. My husband and child had their own Saturday life that didn't include me. I think it would be a lot harder if they were younger, but they are heading into a period in life when they are going to be doing most of their socializing with peers and not parents. You, on the other hand, should probably develop some hobbies 
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Anonymous
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Growing up my dad was a cop and my brother is now. I never noticed I was missing out on anything growing up with my dad working 7-7 Friday, Saturday, Sunday every other weekend. He prioritized time with us the other days. The only time I felt resentful was when he had to work Christmas morning and we had to wait for him to get off work to open presents! My brother does the same. Coaches teams, scout leader, etc. He’s just as interested in being a good dad and caretaker for his family as he is in having a good career.
My husband is a pastor so works every Sunday. We go to church with him so it feels like a family event (obviously not suggesting you take your family to work with your husband though!). He’s off every Friday and uses that partly for his own rest and partly to get house tasks done. Sometimes it’s Costco runs, lawn mowing, picking up, etc. Then on Saturday he occasionally has meetings but most of the time he is home and up for family adventures. His priority is family over work and he knows this is the time we have together. |
Anonymous
| My DH was a reservist, and dealt with this late in his miliary career. Weekdays his civilian job had him, and let's just say one weekend a month and two weeks a year doesn't apply to officers in command positions. We slogged through because there was a time limit. Had there not been....he may have made a different career decision. Is this permanent, OP? |
Anonymous
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My paternal grandfather was a Philadelphia city bus driver and worked split shifts 5-10am and 2-7pm on any given day but at least one weekend day. My grandmother did a regular 8am-4pm as a housekeeper 3x per week. Kids (my dad and his siblings) all learned to be self-officiant early in life. It is normal life for families who do not work boring 9-5 office jobs.
Like others here I am a nurse with odd hours: at my hospital, I commit to every Saturday and Sunday 7-7 (either day or night ) and am paid a full-week's salary. You can't beat that-- 5 days off a week! |
Anonymous
Doctors have shifts and have to share the “weekends” so most do a lot of family time on the days of the week they do have off, or consolidate it all for big trips or long weekends off, etc. So, for eg, on my tues/Wed off I do the morning routine, volunteer at school, schedule the dentist appts, do pick up and watch the sports practices or games, then dinner and homework together. Talk and wind down. |
Anonymous
| There will be some part of the day when your husband and kids will be home at the same time. Any quality time counts, even if you are just having breakfast together as a family. Not every family can go apple picking, etc., every weekend. |
Anonymous
| Tell him to try again for the promotion in 7 years. This really is not the time. |
Anonymous
PP you quoted here. Yes, my dad was a doctor. The things you mention aren't "time with the kids." If you are volunteering at school, do you really pull your kid out of class to do the stuff with you? Keep your kid home from school so they can sit next to you as you call the dentist office? |