Marital Finances

[Anonymous]

I am a long time SAHM who now works part time, but our arrangement was the same even back when I worked FT.

All accounts joint, including savings and taxable investments. He maxes his 401k, plus a backdoor Roth for each of us. I also have my old 401k which was rolled into an IRA. We are early 40’s. We married young (23) and it never occurred to us to do it another way.

[Anonymous]

Our money is all co-mingled and I handle all bill paying. He comes to me for money as I am the family bank. I make sure he can always use his card for gas and stuff. Works for us but not a wise way to do things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After 457 deductions, paychecks go into a joint account. I take care of all of the bills and I move money between checking and savings and into college savings. If we’re short on money I let my spouse know we need to watch our spending. Big purchases are all by agreement. We have never had credit card debt and rarely have had car loans. Pretty much just mortgage. We’ve been like this for over 30 years.

This is pretty much is. Everything is joint. I manage it all and tell DH if we need to slow down spending.

[Anonymous]

Separate accounts but we use one credit card for almost everything. DH pays the mortgage, I pay the credit card and daycare bills. All of our leftover money goes into a joint brokerage account.

[Anonymous]

We opened a joint account and each had individual accounts at the same bank. 90% of our paychecks go into joint account for bills, home and family expenses. We each keep 10% in our individual accounts to spend how each of us would like. That way we don't argue about each other's frivolous purchases and the amount going into the joint account is proportional to our salaries. We have been married for 25 years and have never argued about money.

[Anonymous]

DINKS

Have our own checking accounts where money is deposited

Share a few credit cards where most purchases go

Have a simple spreadsheet that devices cost evenly by salary. I make more so I pay more proportionately

It generally ends up being I pay rent, utilities, etc and he pays the credit card

It is easy and we are happy

[Anonymous]

All of our money goes into one account. We both max out retirement now but he came into the marriage with a lot more money saved. DH was a finance major. He pays all bills, checks our retirement and college savings account, etc. I pretty much just try to remember that he wants me to pay for groceries with the Amex. We have two joint credit cards and check-in with each other if we want to spend more than a couple hundred dollars. I think he’s told me to cool it a couple times when we first bought and furnished our house. This all sounds very traditional and I guess it is on paper. I feel lucky to have his expertise and that our financial goals align so well. I can’t imagine having separate accounts— I want him in charge of “my” money!

[Anonymous]

Both paychecks go into 1 checking account, where we pay all our bills, mortgage, etc from. We have recurring amounts transferred to joint savings from there. We each have our own credit cards but we pay them off from the joint checking.

Retirement is separate I guess because we both work and have contributions deducted from pay.

It seems too complicated to have things separated. Maybe if we made 10x what we do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our money is all co-mingled and I handle all bill paying. He comes to me for money as I am the family bank. I make sure he can always use his card for gas and stuff. Works for us but not a wise way to do things.

I don't understand. If it's all commingled why does he come to you. Does he not have his name on your joint account?

What specific about your arrangement is unwise?

[Anonymous]

We have a joint checking account that his biweekly paycheck goes directly into. I have a small business checking account that receives my 1099 income.

I pay into my retirement and quarterly estimated taxes from my business account.

Mortgage, utilities, credit card, pretty much all household expenses are paid from the joint checking. I transfer money from my business account as needed to pay if DH’s checks don’t cover everything.

Everything else goes to a joint savings account/T-Bills or our brokerage or more to my solo 401k to reduce taxable income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We kept our original accounts but made a joint/house account. Pay cheques are deposited into our original accounts, and a $ amt transferred out into the joint/house account where most bills come from. We keep our own separate, but know how much is there and have individual investments with joint outcomes in mind.

this. separate credit cards, separate savings and checking and investment accounts. mortgage is paid out of the joint account, i pay most of the utilities and daycare out of my own account, so i'm only paying about 1/3 of the mortgage while he pays 2/3rds. we just did a big solar installation that was 12 months financing at 0% interest, so that was also paid 50/50 out of the joint account, we just increased our contributions accordingly. large purchases over a few thousand are discussed, but we each came to the marriage with our own money and only co-mingle as needed. our only debt is the mortgage.

[Anonymous]

We have a HHI of about $800,000, pretty much even between DH and me. I handle all the finances. Both paychecks come into joint checking. We have joint savings accounts and taxable investment accounts. We have separate 401(k)s and Roth IRA, but only because those accounts must be individual accounts. I have the passwords to his accounts and handle all investments across our accounts. I pay all the bills.

It works for us because I like to handle to finances and he does not. He contributes to the household in other ways. We have been married 25 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 457 deductions, paychecks go into a joint account. I take care of all of the bills and I move money between checking and savings and into college savings. If we’re short on money I let my spouse know we need to watch our spending. Big purchases are all by agreement. We have never had credit card debt and rarely have had car loans. Pretty much just mortgage. We’ve been like this for over 30 years.

This is pretty much is. Everything is joint. I manage it all and tell DH if we need to slow down spending.

Similar to us too. All the money goes into one place. One of us handles all the logistical stuff of paying for everything. The other one handles all the analysis stuff of how to invest/borrow/etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a HHI of about $800,000, pretty much even between DH and me. I handle all the finances. Both paychecks come into joint checking. We have joint savings accounts and taxable investment accounts. We have separate 401(k)s and Roth IRA, but only because those accounts must be individual accounts. I have the passwords to his accounts and handle all investments across our accounts. I pay all the bills.

It works for us because I like to handle to finances and he does not. He contributes to the household in other ways. We have been married 25 years.

This is the same for us, although our HHI is about half of yours. I also like to handle finances, whereas spouse does not. Knowing about our finances helps keep me less anxious about the duture/retirement

[Anonymous]

So many personal accounts here! We make close to $900K before taxes and after deductions (medical, retirement, childcare FSA, etc.) everything goes into our checking account. We have money transferred into our brokerage account monthly and we put money into our high yield online savings account and kids’ 529s ourselves. All other expenses (kids tuition, mortgage, etc) we autopay from checking. I have received a few modest payouts from a trust my grandparents created ($40K total during our six year marriage) and have commingled that money as well as any money my parents give me here and there (probably equivalent to $5K during our marriage). My husband’s parents give him $100K annually and also gave us a down payment and $150K for our brokerage account. It’s all commingled so I don’t think me vs him. My husband also has a trust that is worth close to $6M now that we haven’t touched. I’ve never understood the mine vs yours mentality. We have the same goals.