What is wrong with my five year old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most kids in soccer don't like it as much as their parents and coaches want them to like it, and quite a few really hate it. You can see on the field that lots are very good at faking it to please adults.

Soccer (and piano, tbh) is a "check the box" activity that every MC and UMC sticks their kids in because they think that's what MC and UMC kids have to do. Let your kid try different team sports and different individual athletic activities, and don't listen to people who say that if you're not on a team you're just exercising. Exercise is good enough.

+1

[Anonymous]

He’s not into soccer.

[Anonymous]

We tried lots of different sports, but stuck with the one our DC was passionate about. Just try different sports until the right one clicks. Or your son may have zero interest in sports, which is fine too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s not into soccer.

Yeah there's a lot of selection bias in who joins these teams, which totally makes sense but is not representative.

My 5yo does weekly soccer just bc friends are in it and half the kids including mine sound like OP.

[Anonymous]

Not every kid is sporty especially at a young age - it's your attitude that is the problem - not him, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s not into soccer.

Yeah there's a lot of selection bias in who joins these teams, which totally makes sense but is not representative.

My 5yo does weekly soccer just bc friends are in it and half the kids including mine sound like OP.

It's definitely a social activity for the younger ages. That is probably annoying to parents and coaches who take it very seriously. What can you do? Eventually kids who are not that into the sport aspect will find other hobbies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son just turned five. He just played a soccer game where all of the other kids were fully engaged, focused on the ball and scoring a goal. My son briefly runs with the other boys who are focused on the ball with no actual intention of kicking it or trying to get it, and then will run off the field to me in the side lines saying he needs a rest or that he needs water, in the middle of the game. His head just isn’t in it at all, it’s like he doesn’t even know what’s going on. The coach came up to him and said “you have one job today, just watch the ball” and he couldn’t/didn’t do it. I am so embarrassed because he sticks out like a sore thumb. Do you think I should be concerned by this?

Nothing. He doesn't like soccer. Why are you forcing it? What's wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

I would conclude that your kid isn't troubled by social rules. My kids were either interested in soccer and played, or said that they weren't interested and didn't want to go to the game. But they clearly understood the rules of not walking off the field during the game. I think that's what's troubling you, not the fact that your kid isn't that interested (which is completely normal).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would conclude that your kid isn't troubled by social rules. My kids were either interested in soccer and played, or said that they weren't interested and didn't want to go to the game. But they clearly understood the rules of not walking off the field during the game. I think that's what's troubling you, not the fact that your kid isn't that interested (which is completely normal).

Right or he doesn’t understand the social rules, which may be more worrisome than just not caring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid's rec soccer team had 3 kids like that. Mine was one. I'd ask him "why do you want to play soccer? Do you want to quit?" and he'd say "I need to go to soccer, people bring their babies! I like to see the babies."

All of those 3 kids enjoyed their years in soccer, and then found other sports that suited them more. Mine runs cross country. Another wrestles. A third plays basketball.

Rec is the perfect place for this kid.

I love this answer. Perfect.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't worry about him being good at soccer, but I would worry about him being able to follow simple instructions. If he is told, when it's your turn to be on the field keep playing until your coach calls you out, he should be able to do that. If soccer isn't for him that is totally fine! And if he runs around the field and never touches the ball that's also fine! But ignoring directions and not following the rules might raise some concern.

[Anonymous]

It’s 5 yo soccer. This is totally normal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't worry about him being good at soccer, but I would worry about him being able to follow simple instructions. If he is told, when it's your turn to be on the field keep playing until your coach calls you out, he should be able to do that. If soccer isn't for him that is totally fine! And if he runs around the field and never touches the ball that's also fine! But ignoring directions and not following the rules might raise some concern.

I think this is exactly what worries me. Even in the absence of any marginal skill or competency, he doesn’t listen to what the coach says to do, or think twice about not participating in a helpful way to his team.

[Anonymous]

He’s 5. I wouldn’t be too concerned. There are lots of other 5 year olds out there like them - they’re just less likely to be the ones signed up for soccer. Organized sports were not great for my boys at that age. They’re in middle school now and totally sporty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with him.

Just love him and appreciate what he loves, and follow that.

He sounds like a gentle, sweet boy. You can be very proud of that!

I agree that what OP describes is totally normal, and not something to be concerned.

And loving your child is always good advice.

But the idea that you decide a boy is gentle or sweet because he doesn't happen to like soccer, just reinforces the idea that kids who do like team sports are somehow not as gentle or sweet, that they must be some kind of dumb jock.

Whether or not a child likes to play soccer has nothing to do with how gentle or sweet he is.