Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP would annoy me and I would want a new neighbor

Ah, the dcum curmudgeon is back.

[Anonymous]

Good deeds should always be done without the expectation of anything in return.

[Anonymous]

I would just ask.

[Anonymous]

OP: You are over thinking this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here — she’s asked me to do her cans before when she was out of town so I don’t think it’s a weird “don’t touch my trash” thing. (She’s also asked me twice to cat sit as a favor (no pay) so maybe she just likes having help?)

Plus, the cans when out front are right next to the front entry vs having to go down the steps, around the corner, down the long driveway to rear of house to toss trash or drag them to the front.

But yeah, I guess I could stop doing it!

I might ask a neighbor to put my trash can out if I’ll be out of town on trash day, but I wouldn’t want that the rest of the time. I frequently wait until after the kids have gone to bed to throw out trash from making dinner, and then I clean out the fridge and toss anything that’s expired or leftovers that didn’t get eaten in the last 3 days. Your neighbor might like to clean her cat’s litter box on trash night. I don’t put my trash out until 10 pm. If you moved my can to the curb earlier in the evening, you’d be be making me carry heavy trash bags further.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just ask.

What would you ask: why haven’t you reciprocated the favor I decided on my own to do for you, whether you wanted me to or not?

[Anonymous]

I would do the same as your neighbor. I do all sorts of neighborly things but only when asked or when I offer and they accept. Clearly you feel that your neighbor now "owes" you something, however small. This expectation is why unrequested favors are not actually favors. If I were your neighbor, I would act the same in an effort to signal to you that your "help" in unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just ask.

What would you ask: why haven’t you reciprocated the favor I decided on my own to do for you, whether you wanted me to or not?

I would ask if she minded bringing my garbage can in if I take hers out. If she said she doesn't want to, that's fine, then I would have my answer and I would adjust my behavior accordingly.

I live in the suburbs and we have to put trash out on trash day morning if we don't want raccoons to tear it apart all night. My downstairs neighbor and I text the night before to see who is able to put out all the garbage. I see no sense in both of us waking up at 5:30 if we don't have to. I bring the can in when I get home from work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good deeds should always be done without the expectation of anything in return.

This. People like OP drive me nuts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just ask.

What would you ask: why haven’t you reciprocated the favor I decided on my own to do for you, whether you wanted me to or not?

I would ask if she minded bringing my garbage can in if I take hers out. If she said she doesn't want to, that's fine, then I would have my answer and I would adjust my behavior accordingly.

I live in the suburbs and we have to put trash out on trash day morning if we don't want raccoons to tear it apart all night. My downstairs neighbor and I text the night before to see who is able to put out all the garbage. I see no sense in both of us waking up at 5:30 if we don't have to. I bring the can in when I get home from work.

Why would you ask that and put her in an uncomfortable position of having to say no or do some favor she doesn’t want to do. If she wanted to do it, she would be doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just ask.

What would you ask: why haven’t you reciprocated the favor I decided on my own to do for you, whether you wanted me to or not?

I would ask if she minded bringing my garbage can in if I take hers out. If she said she doesn't want to, that's fine, then I would have my answer and I would adjust my behavior accordingly.

I live in the suburbs and we have to put trash out on trash day morning if we don't want raccoons to tear it apart all night. My downstairs neighbor and I text the night before to see who is able to put out all the garbage. I see no sense in both of us waking up at 5:30 if we don't have to. I bring the can in when I get home from work.

Why would you ask that and put her in an uncomfortable position of having to say no or do some favor she doesn’t want to do. If she wanted to do it, she would be doing it.

Because OP is asking what to do. If I were OP, I would have to ask for a resolution. Myself, I would not be in this position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever considered that you may be pulling her cans to the curb before she has a chance to do one last trash run throughout the house? In other words, maybe she's telling you that she'd like to manage her cans and you can do your own.

NP. I don't think so. This is a stretch.

+1

Neighbor is, deep down, and sh*tty and selfish person, OP. Duly noted.

[Anonymous]

Taking other people’s trash cans back is totally fine, but taking them out is weird

[Anonymous]

I think it’s fine to put empty cans away but if you took my cans to the curb, I’d probably still have stuff I wanted to put in them before taking them to the curb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever considered that you may be pulling her cans to the curb before she has a chance to do one last trash run throughout the house? In other words, maybe she's telling you that she'd like to manage her cans and you can do your own.

I second this. You may think you are doing her a favor, but this is her way of telling you she will take care of her own trash cans.