Parents need help - but with household things

[Anonymous]

I’m only a couple weeks into this BUT so far so good. My elderly uncle really needs more help than he wants right now, but we are starting slow and meeting him where he is. We luckily found a recent retiree in the neighborhood looking for a little extra cash. She has a part time seasonal job right now just to keep herself busy. She comes once (soon twice a week) to:

- bring a meal (she makes an extra plate of what she’s making herself and husband),
- picking up weekly staples (milk, fruit) and will do the same on monthly/quarterly supplies,
- picking up laundry and doing laundry,
-taking groceries and recycling out,
- take out his dirty depends,
- washing dishes (yes, they should be done daily! But at least they will be done twice a week. Like I said we are starting sloooowwww.)

He has someone who comes monthly to vacuum, dust and wash bathrooms.

He is cognitively sound, but is struggling physically. My aunt died unexpectedly just over 2 months ago, so this all new. He has neighbors who brought him some meals, but of course, this will end soon. He still is in control mentally, so I cannot do things as I would like at this point (eg, remove throw rugs that pose trip hazards, bathe more frequently, etc.). He lives out of state, so I have to pick my battles even more than if he were nearby, I think.

We also got Medixal Alert which he is adapting to. We’ll see how it goes.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Any tasks they show frustration with or complain about? Those will be your easiest way to ease in to this. The next best bet is laundry, saying you know they can do it, but you are scared of a fall. Reality is a fall can prevent them from remaining at home and enjoying the independence they currently have. Present it as preventing falls will allow them to enjoy what they are doing longer and bring you peace of mind. For some once they get someone in for a few hours a week they are open to increasing hours over time. Others resist and dig heals in on this no matter how dire and unsafe the situation is.