After school activities and sports is crushing us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 2 kids 4 years apart, that helped tremendously.

Yup, getting rid of your middle child will help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is a season of life that will last just a few years.

This! It gets better. We have 4 and one is just starting to drive. What I am so happy with is Covid! Pre-Covid I would spend some much time racing home to get kids to 5:30 or 6:00 practice somewhere. Be stuck in traffic all the time. Now no racing, MUCH less traffic (except on Weds) and just overall easier.

[Anonymous]

I live in a suburb where it’s safe and easy for kids to get around on their own- so I see kids riding their bikes on baseball gear, on a public bus with a tennis bag, etc… many families hire a driving sitter to help, and yes to carpools.

[Anonymous]

Don't overschedule your kids. They don't have to do everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't overschedule your kids. They don't have to do everything.

You realize though that by MS and HS one sport can be 5-6 x/week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't overschedule your kids. They don't have to do everything.

You realize though that by MS and HS one sport can be 5-6 x/week

This. I have two kids and each kid only does one thing. Its just A LOT.

[Anonymous]

Same. I spend about 5 hours after school shuttling everyone where they needed to be and waiting for activities to end a few days a week. We try to overlap some of the activities so they are at the same place and same time, or in the same area but it doesn't always work out. I have 2 in elementary school and 1 in Jr High so none will be driving soon.

[Anonymous]

It’s an even exchange at the end

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a very first world problem of your own creation.

Carpools, as others have suggested and just suck it up. Or, cut back on the sports and activities.

+1

Carpools take a bit of work to set up/find but your kids are old enough to begin to start seeking/arranging for them themselves. Make acquaintances/contacts with some of the other activity parents and put aside any parental politicking. You will win friends (of the kids and parents) if you have 'snacks' ready for them during transport. We used to have a no-food-in-the-car rule but have temporarily suspended it for 'one-bite' snacks and water or another clear beverage (like Capri-Suns, which I'm shocked my HS-aged riders still go crazy for!). Also, divide-and-conquer with your spouse and don't overlook others willing to help....like a retired neighbor. We don't have any family nearby but a kind soul next door who dearly misses their own grandchildren and has filled-in on occasion. All speak fondly of those trips in particular: it's a new 'story' for all involved.

And, this too shall pass. Having one child as a 'driver' is a game-changer. Otherwise, consider yourself a mUber (Mom-Uber) or dUber and press on.

Good Luck!

The biggest challenge for us is mealtime, which used to exclusively be at a reasonable hour (6pm-ish) and together as a family. That is out the window now and we have a lot of OYO meals. Still, it's an exciting, hustling bustling time that will be over before you know it.

[Anonymous]

It's hard - but carpools and I do not pick up pick up my high schooler if late bus is an option.

[Anonymous]

Yup. Time expectations for HS level sports or other activities (theater, marching band, scouts, etc) are insane. Between our two kids there are a minimum of 10 events per week. Spouse and I share the driving, we set up carpools, HS kid walks or rides his bike whenever possible. Add parent volunteer duties and the schedule gets really fun!

[Anonymous]

I hear you! Same boat. I wouldn’t do it if they didn’t love it the way they do, but…they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 2 kids 4 years apart, that helped tremendously.

Yup, getting rid of your middle child will help.

but seriously, yea, find carpools.

Or, a neighbor of mine hired a driver, an older lady who was looking for PT work. It works for them.

Seems like this could be a great side gig for empty nesters. Safe driving record, responsible, reliable.

[Anonymous]

Carpools
Bikes
Public transportation
Kid brings book/homework to occupy themselves around a more convenient early dropoff/late pickup

You do not owe your children stand-alone, bespoke door-to-door service every single time

[Anonymous]

Yes. My kids are almost grown. I told them they get one -- yes, one -- activity that I am driving them each to during the week. So choose wisely. And I was a SAHM.

One kid picked music. The other kid picked STEM/art activities.

It forced each of our kids to figure out what they like the most, and go with that. And they got good at it. Made for good thing to reference on college applications.