Get rid of tablet for one kid but not the others?

[Anonymous]

Screens are destroying American children. Until your child can read, run a mile in 8 minutes, do the laundry independently, understand fractions, and interact in friendly and helpful ways in the community, do not give them any screens.

[Anonymous]

You parent each child the way they need. Not each needs the same things. Fair means everyone gets their needs met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You parent each child the way they need. Not each needs the same things. Fair means everyone gets their needs met.

Yeah but I think you can argue that none of them need screens and it’s better for all not to have them. As stated up thread, we all got by just fine without them. Mental down time and boredom is when kids problem solve, get creative and tap into imagination. I know that we don’t live in an ideal world and situations arise - but we are raising our kids with very different stimuli than we had and it gives me pause. Yes we watched tv but it didn’t come to restaurants with us, grocery stores, appointments, school, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You parent each child the way they need. Not each needs the same things. Fair means everyone gets their needs met.

Sure, but these are also children who all live together in the same house. I can't imagine it will improve behavior, not to mention sibling relationships, for one child to be denied an activity that the others can still enjoy. I'm picturing the oldest being told no screen time, and also having no one to play with because the siblings are on screens. And would you also ban the oldest from watching the others play? How would you enforce that without isolating the oldest?

Setting some global parameters seems best, whether that's time limits, earning through behavior, specified consequences for issues, etc.

[Anonymous]

Fair isn't always equal and this is not fair at all to your other children who can handle it. It would make more of an impact if the one who can't handle it can see the siblings being able to keep the electronics and what her behavior needs to look like in order to get one back.
My punish everyone when only one person is having the problem.... That is a great way to cause sibling resentment. Ask me how I know.... I'm the oldest of four and was constantly being punished for things my stupid siblings did.

[Anonymous]

How many of us enjoy stupid rules at work that impact everyone when only one or two people actually have the issue? That is how well this is going to go over for that family.
If it is an issue across the board or the family decides screens will no longer be a part of their family dynamic than fine, but to say one child cannot handle screens so now no one can have them is horrible and lazy parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fair isn't always equal and this is not fair at all to your other children who can handle it. It would make more of an impact if the one who can't handle it can see the siblings being able to keep the electronics and what her behavior needs to look like in order to get one back.
My punish everyone when only one person is having the problem.... That is a great way to cause sibling resentment. Ask me how I know.... I'm the oldest of four and was constantly being punished for things my stupid siblings did.

No one needs a tablet though! How old are the kids? If they are all elementary or younger, it's completely unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

So you think it's okay to get rid of all unnecessary things for every child in a family if one can't handle it?....... So basically other than food shelter, clothing if one misbehaves or can't handle something, no one can ever enjoy that?

Wow! Those kids are going to have some fun conversations and therapy when they get older.

Do you believe in communal punishments for everything as well?.... Oop Johnny was 5 minutes late for curfew so now no one can leave the house again for the next 3 weeks. 🙄

[Anonymous]

I think you need to parent each child individually.
That's not saying you can't have family rules and expectations...... And even decide that you will no longer do screens at all.
But to punish all of your children because one can't handle it is not right.
It would be a lot more meaningful to the child who can't handle it to see what their behavior is actually causing the outcome to be. If she sees her siblings enjoying screen time and them handling it well, you can talk about what she can do to earn it back. What behavior you need to see and how her siblings are modeling that behavior.
This can be a great teaching tool or you can just be punitive for no reason.