Turning down neighborhood babysitting proposal?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, for me it would be one thing if you were filling a 30-minute schedule gap once a week on a day that it made sense for you. But an unpredictable 6:30-7 pickup twice a week indefinitely would not be tenable for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks so far, everyone!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“ I’m happy to help out in an emergency and have an occasional play dates, but it’s not something my family can commit to on a permanent basis.”


I know what you mean, especially about being “on”.

+1

Nip this in the bud, OP.

Are you new to the neighborhood, OP? Seems like those neighbors pounced!

Ugh, no. The two did a one-week sports camp together over the summer and really hit it off. ONE TIME towards the end of summer I sort of put myself out to be very accommodating to a logistics issue, and I think she saw me as someone who might be eager to please?

I’m not 100% certain what dad does, but he’s not around often. Mom just switched jobs and works later into the evenings some days, so no proverbial “light at the end of the tunnel”, as far as I know. I think she’s hoping I’m the light!

Oh NO. My mom did this for a terminally ill friend and even she was exponentially more respectful of our time.

I’d just make something up. Like a fake tutoring session they can’t afford. Humble brag about how you don’t understand why she’s still employed given how much childcare she has to do! Make her not like you so this gets nipped in the bud.

[Anonymous]

Both parents are out until 630/7?? Do they ever see their kid except for maybe the last 90 min of the day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in high school, I watched a neighborhood boy until his parents got home from work. All I had to do was meet his school bus and hang out with him at his house while he ate a snack and watched tv. Sometimes he’d play with a neighbor boy. It was easy money for me and inexpensive for his parents.

If these parents are willing to pay you, they can pay somebody who wants a job.

+1 They need to find a high schooler to do this work. Because it is work!

This, good lord. Unless they are offering to reciprocate in some meaningful way, forget it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks so far, everyone!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“ I’m happy to help out in an emergency and have an occasional play dates, but it’s not something my family can commit to on a permanent basis.”


I know what you mean, especially about being “on”.

+1

Nip this in the bud, OP.

Are you new to the neighborhood, OP? Seems like those neighbors pounced!

Ugh, no. The two did a one-week sports camp together over the summer and really hit it off. ONE TIME towards the end of summer I sort of put myself out to be very accommodating to a logistics issue, and I think she saw me as someone who might be eager to please?

I’m not 100% certain what dad does, but he’s not around often. Mom just switched jobs and works later into the evenings some days, so no proverbial “light at the end of the tunnel”, as far as I know. I think she’s hoping I’m the light!

This is the problem with the DC area - you can't be nice, unfortunately - now you know. You are being used, BTDT. You are henceforth "busy", and you owe them no excuses.

Repeat after me: "that won't work for us". Done and done. If they want to do whatever with their jobs, or anything else, that is not on you that is on them. These people have to PAY someone to watch their kid. Certainly, if they are working all those hours, they can shell out a little money for that - but it won't be you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in high school, I watched a neighborhood boy until his parents got home from work. All I had to do was meet his school bus and hang out with him at his house while he ate a snack and watched tv. Sometimes he’d play with a neighbor boy. It was easy money for me and inexpensive for his parents.

If these parents are willing to pay you, they can pay somebody who wants a job.

+1 They need to find a high schooler to do this work. Because it is work!

This, good lord. Unless they are offering to reciprocate in some meaningful way, forget it.

+3. Get on this STAT, OP. So rude! Also, and I learned this the way, some moms (maybe dads too, I really don't know) claim to be working when they are not.

[Anonymous]

I don't think they realize how inconvenient it's becomg for you. I'm betting you put on a smiling face and are pleasant so the parents have no idea and think all is fine & dandy with the arrangement as it is.
So, of course, they're going to continue with their kid being with you.

Why not put into context how it's just not working out long term?

I don't understand why people don't talk with others when there's a problem. You can be diplomatic and tacticful when doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“ I’m happy to help out in an emergency and have an occasional play dates, but it’s not something my family can commit to on a permanent basis.”


I know what you mean, especially about being “on”.

This is perfect.

[Anonymous]

I tend to avoid conflicts, and could totally see myself getting into this type of situation. Another option for you is to tell her the kids have doctors appointments the next time she's expecting her kid to be there. Or that you're visiting a family friend. Basically, have other things that will take you outside the house, and that it would be weird or inappropriate to bring the kid to. I think if you do that a few times she'll be forced to come up with another solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t need to explain it, just say “I’m always happy to help in an emergency if I can, but we can’t make this arrangement permanent this year. Thanks for asking.”

I wouldn’t do any excuse making. Some people just see that as hurdles to overcome. A polite no is all you need, repeat as needed.

Why on earth would you say “thanks for asking”?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“ I’m happy to help out in an emergency and have an occasional play dates, but it’s not something my family can commit to on a permanent basis.”


I know what you mean, especially about being “on”.

This is perfect.

I would add "it really is a job, and perhaps a neighborhood high schooler can take it on."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“ I’m happy to help out in an emergency and have an occasional play dates, but it’s not something my family can commit to on a permanent basis.”


I know what you mean, especially about being “on”.

I'd maybe drop the "happy" part. "I am available to help occasionally, but can not commit to having him here multiple times a week, so please find other arrangements for him after school".

If it was 4-5pm, then I could see maybe doing it. But 4-7pm is a long time!!

[Anonymous]

You could also get ahead of this "proposal" and text her and say "just wanted to let you know, starting next week we won't be able to have Johnny over after school. Our evenings are getting busy!" and don't elaborate any more than that.

[Anonymous]

For gods sake an 11 year old can take care of themselves 4-7:30pm. If they want more enrichment hire a babysitter.