Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doctors are doing lots of elective surgeries (think knee replacements, hip replacements) etc. on the 85+ crowd now.

There’s a risk/benefit analysis to be done with any elective surgery. The same doctor might perform knee replacement surgery on one 85 year old and decline to perform it on another, due to the difference in risk factors. The only benefit to a face lift is a boost to one’s mental health, but if the risk of complications from the procedure that are, themselves, deleterious to mental health is greater than the odds of no such complications, then there’s likely to be no net benefit.

[Anonymous]

Yes. You should. Anesthesia on someone that old is no joke. There are very real risks that she will come out of it with delirium and never be the same. She should’ve done it 20 years ago. She will probably never be the same if she does it.

[Anonymous]

My mom did this. I thought it was stupid. It was only a couple days recovery and has brought her so much happiness in a life that otherwise doesn’t have much (father has Alzheimer’s). Just let her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was the one who ended up with hospital delirium after knee surgery last year and the whole experience just muddled her brain. She still has no recollection of any of it, probably lost a month or two of memories completely. She has never made it back to what she was prior to surgery.

I would have a long discussion with the doctor who thinks it’s acceptable to do this to your mom. Make it very clear that if anything goes wrong you had expressed your reservations to him in advance and will try to hold him responsible. If it gets that far say the same thing to the anesthesiologist.

I am shocked there would be a doctor out there willing to do this.

Did you have the same discussion with your mom and doctor? Knee replacement is also elective.

No because I had no idea about the side effects of anesthesia on someone with her condition. I had to take her to a ton of doctors appointments for clearance prior to the surgery and no one mentioned the potential for any issues. She’d had a prior knee surgery on the other knee a few years before and had a perfect outcome. And to her walking is life. However in retrospect allowing her to have that surgery was the biggest mistake I’ve made as her daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom was the one who ended up with hospital delirium after knee surgery last year and the whole experience just muddled her brain. She still has no recollection of any of it, probably lost a month or two of memories completely. She has never made it back to what she was prior to surgery.

I would have a long discussion with the doctor who thinks it’s acceptable to do this to your mom. Make it very clear that if anything goes wrong you had expressed your reservations to him in advance and will try to hold him responsible. If it gets that far say the same thing to the anesthesiologist.

I am shocked there would be a doctor out there willing to do this.

Just wanted to say that, because of your experience, I chose NOT to have my mom get the knee surgery she wanted and talked about incessantly. She was in pain.

Instead, I redirected her to PT and they’ve given her pain patches for her knees. She is feeling better and has stopped talking about surgery constantly.

I am sorry about your mom and appreciate your generosity in sharing your experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom did this. I thought it was stupid. It was only a couple days recovery and has brought her so much happiness in a life that otherwise doesn’t have much (father has Alzheimer’s). Just let her.

How old was your mother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was the one who ended up with hospital delirium after knee surgery last year and the whole experience just muddled her brain. She still has no recollection of any of it, probably lost a month or two of memories completely. She has never made it back to what she was prior to surgery.

I would have a long discussion with the doctor who thinks it’s acceptable to do this to your mom. Make it very clear that if anything goes wrong you had expressed your reservations to him in advance and will try to hold him responsible. If it gets that far say the same thing to the anesthesiologist.

I am shocked there would be a doctor out there willing to do this.

Just wanted to say that, because of your experience, I chose NOT to have my mom get the knee surgery she wanted and talked about incessantly. She was in pain.

Instead, I redirected her to PT and they’ve given her pain patches for her knees. She is feeling better and has stopped talking about surgery constantly.

I am sorry about your mom and appreciate your generosity in sharing your experience.

I’m so glad my experience spared someone from dealing with what we went through! I wish I’d known what I know now. She was in a lot of pain but I feel like I should have done more to try to find an alternative. I’m glad you mom is doing well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was the one who ended up with hospital delirium after knee surgery last year and the whole experience just muddled her brain. She still has no recollection of any of it, probably lost a month or two of memories completely. She has never made it back to what she was prior to surgery.

I would have a long discussion with the doctor who thinks it’s acceptable to do this to your mom. Make it very clear that if anything goes wrong you had expressed your reservations to him in advance and will try to hold him responsible. If it gets that far say the same thing to the anesthesiologist.

I am shocked there would be a doctor out there willing to do this.

Just wanted to say that, because of your experience, I chose NOT to have my mom get the knee surgery she wanted and talked about incessantly. She was in pain.

Instead, I redirected her to PT and they’ve given her pain patches for her knees. She is feeling better and has stopped talking about surgery constantly.

I am sorry about your mom and appreciate your generosity in sharing your experience.

I’m so glad my experience spared someone from dealing with what we went through! I wish I’d known what I know now. She was in a lot of pain but I feel like I should have done more to try to find an alternative. I’m glad you mom is doing well!

Thank you. Hugs to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also think recovery will be terrible. But I've also learned to butt out of these things after voicing your concerns.

I have a family member dealing now with an unnecessary procedure that was not a good fit for her and all the health fall out from it years later. You can't talk someone out of that stuff.

Would you mind elaborating? I’ve never heard of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband’s aunt did this before our wedding (which we thought was weird but cute) when she was 80. Her cardiologist had to give the green light. She died at age 92.

How did she look afterwards? What was her recovery like, if you remember?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom did this. I thought it was stupid. It was only a couple days recovery and has brought her so much happiness in a life that otherwise doesn’t have much (father has Alzheimer’s). Just let her.

Beautiful! How old was she? Did she look much younger or just well rested or a certain je ne sais quoi?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was the one who ended up with hospital delirium after knee surgery last year and the whole experience just muddled her brain. She still has no recollection of any of it, probably lost a month or two of memories completely. She has never made it back to what she was prior to surgery.

I would have a long discussion with the doctor who thinks it’s acceptable to do this to your mom. Make it very clear that if anything goes wrong you had expressed your reservations to him in advance and will try to hold him responsible. If it gets that far say the same thing to the anesthesiologist.

I am shocked there would be a doctor out there willing to do this.

Did you have the same discussion with your mom and doctor? Knee replacement is also elective.

No because I had no idea about the side effects of anesthesia on someone with her condition. I had to take her to a ton of doctors appointments for clearance prior to the surgery and no one mentioned the potential for any issues. She’d had a prior knee surgery on the other knee a few years before and had a perfect outcome. And to her walking is life. However in retrospect allowing her to have that surgery was the biggest mistake I’ve made as her daughter.

Do not blame yourself! You supported her and I’m sure she appreciated it! I just learned I have arthritis of the knee and will probably need a knee replacement eventually - everyone gets them!

[Anonymous]

So disgusting how vanity and ego are so strong even among women nearing end of life

[Anonymous]

is this not what killed Joan Rivers?