Middle Children of the world, unite!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Middle of 7 here. There are precious few pictures of me as a baby and child. No new clothes for me, even though I was tiny for my age until 16 (probably due to being ignored). Never had seconds at dinner ever. Never instructed in how to do something, only told to do it (figure it out). I could go on, but no one is still reading, probably.

I’m still reading. And I’m giving you a hug, and here’s a hug for the child who deserved better. I’m sorry, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a middle child and have zero of the typical middle child grievances. I was the only one of my gender so that might have impacted it.

This does impact. Your birth order treatment is different when you are a different gender. You are treated more like a first born or baby.

[Anonymous]

I read an article once that said middle child birth order sets kids up to do big things- they gave these as examples to prove their theory: Abraham Lincoln, MLk Jr, Bill Gates, Diana Ross, Peyton Manning, Michael Jordan, Teddy Roosevelt, Michael Jordan. Doesn’t change how anyone felt as a kid though, I know, but good company.

[Anonymous]

I was left home when my mom took my older sister on shopping trips to the mall. I began to internalize that the only way to stand out was to accomplish. I used to make myself sick if I didn’t get perfect scores on tests. I was good at basketball and that was the one saving grace- that I got out of the house to practice all the time. But then once I was good at that my mom (never my dad) would come to watch and the pressure I felt trying to perform made me not want her there and stressed about playing

[Anonymous]

I am the middle of 3, but older sibling is a male so I got new clothing. Never felt neglected/my parents never forgot me anywhere. My brother was not the typical first born over achiever, he was actually the opposite, so I was the one who got praise for being athletic and smart. However, I am still most definitely the black sheep of the family. I am the only one who moved way and have very different political views than the rest of my family.

[Anonymous]

I am the only girl with 2 brothers, my younger is 8 years younger than me
I had to do more than my share of babysitting
I got to wear my brothers clothes
My mom did prioritize his wardrobe, he got more freedom as a teenager, my dad loved going to his pta meetings, lost interest in my middle school after my older brother graduated from it
My brother told his friends that he didn’t have a sister and forbade me from greeting him at school

When I got older the burden of babysitting was just imposed on me to the point that I could only have alternative weekends to myself because the rest of the family had plans

Got sick of it but what was there to do

I learned not to ask for anything, not for rides anywhere, I knew I was not going to get it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Second of four and the only girl and my older brother is super smart and 14 months older. Spent my entire school career with teachers telling me what a genius he was, how he was such a pleasure in class. Sophomore year in high school the English teacher asked him to come in to film a speech he made the year before to show to my class b/c it was such a masterpiece. It was humiliating watching it. The honors biology teacher freshman year asked me why I was in regular level science.

It was not great. I was so upset when he got into the college I really wanted to go to and decided to go, but then still went and graduated with a higher GPA. It's so stupid (who cares about GPA) but at the time I felt a sense of redemption. I was actually not as dumb as everyone led me to believe.

Huh. I mean, this doesn’t really sound like a middle child thing

[Anonymous]

Middle child married to a middle child. We also both have an older brother (who got treated like a prince) and a younger sister (who was a spoiled baby).

In a weird coincidence we were both left behind at the same department store as children. What are the odds?

We have three children but both secretly prefer child number two— who also has an older brother and a younger sister. Kinda hard not to spoil her cuz we are overcompensating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Middle child married to a middle child. We also both have an older brother (who got treated like a prince) and a younger sister (who was a spoiled baby).

In a weird coincidence we were both left behind at the same department store as children. What are the odds?

We have three children but both secretly prefer child number two— who also has an older brother and a younger sister. Kinda hard not to spoil her cuz we are overcompensating.

You bring up something interesting which I term, the secret club of the middle child.

Have any of you noticed that when you meet someone new and just get along with them instantly, it always turns out that they, too, are a middle child?

[Anonymous]

Middle of three girls here. I spent my entire childhood desperately trying to perform perfection and self-sufficiency in an attempt to get attention and make up for how rebellious my older sister was as a teenager. My little sister was the cute baby and I was mostly just there. I got my first job at 14 while neither of my sisters worked at all during high school. I've consistently performed better than them at "traditional" milestones (better grades, impressive scholarships. great first job out of college, seemingly perfect marriage, etc.) but it's never mattered. I've spent a lot of time working through that resentment and deconstructing the myth that success will bring me love and attention. Working so hard served me to a point but ultimately kept me from being happy and satisfied. As others have said, it is what it is.

It's funny because my dad was the middle of three boys and had all the same feelings and experiences - he went ivy league while his brothers dropped out of school and got kicked out the military...but it didn't matter. His mother never gave him any validation or attention. I had to chose not to let that same resentment fester in me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle child married to a middle child. We also both have an older brother (who got treated like a prince) and a younger sister (who was a spoiled baby).

In a weird coincidence we were both left behind at the same department store as children. What are the odds?

We have three children but both secretly prefer child number two— who also has an older brother and a younger sister. Kinda hard not to spoil her cuz we are overcompensating.

You bring up something interesting which I term, the secret club of the middle child.

Have any of you noticed that when you meet someone new and just get along with them instantly, it always turns out that they, too, are a middle child?

NP - 100% yes. I am also a middle child who married a middle child. They just get it.

[Anonymous]

I was left out of my mother's will and I was left out of my father's will.

Neither sibling shared a dime from either considerable (2M) inheritance.

[Anonymous]

Middle child here. Im the only one who didn’t get a middle name.

[Anonymous]

So the great thing about being a middle child in a dysfunctional family is that you fly under the radar! I made friends fairly easily and frequently was out of the house either playing sports or with friends. I got to observe more positive family dynamics and was exposed to how others lived which really had an impact on me in terms of future mates and ways to live life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the youngest there is nothing I enjoy more than getting my older brother to help me gang up on the middle sister in our family.

This thread is for middle children. Start your own thread.

Ugh. Just like a youngest to take over. 😜