Stupid question. What do you call your kids’ teachers / principal / other school employees in emails?

[Anonymous]

I say Mr. / Ms. / Mrs. - that's what I call them to my kid so it feels fine to me. It's not like I am normally referring to them as Sally Bob or Joe such that it feels more natural to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prefer parents use Ms with me, and I do so with them as well. We aren’t friends and the conversation is professional, not personal, so we shouldn’t use first names, IMO.

I mean, devil’s advocate here but in any other professional setting I’ve ever been in where it’s 2 adults dealing with each other, first names are used. (That said, I’m definitely not advocating to use first names…just wondering what’s normal)

Yes, I use first names for this reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I initiate with Ms/Mrs/Mr but if they respond with Sally or Bob I call them by their first name.

+1 This. I'd add please use "Dr." if appropriate. My kids have a teacher who also holds a PhD in her content area, and they appropriately corrected me when I accidentally referred to her as "Mrs."

I agree on using Dr. when they have some type of doctorate degree, anything you can do to ego-boost someone who has some level of power over you child will make things smoother for your child. A former special program director at our school was dumb as rocks and had a Ed.D. degree from a school that passes them out like candy. I always addressed her as Dr. Dumbasrocks, and not coincidentally I always got much better responses and help from her, while other parents complained that she was useless. But I know for a fact many of those other parents always addressed her by first name or Ms. when corresponding with her. This game has certain rules...

[Anonymous]

Always Mrs./Ms./Mr./Dr. etc., unless I know them from another context outside school (neighborhood, grew up with them, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use whatever they use when they sign their messges.

So if they sign it Katie Smith, call them Katie? Or Ms. Smith?

I would call them Ms. Smith unless they said something like "Please call me Katie."

[Anonymous]

That's really helpful perspective, thank you for weighing in!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I initiate with Ms/Mrs/Mr but if they respond with Sally or Bob I call them by their first name.

+1 This. I'd add please use "Dr." if appropriate. My kids have a teacher who also holds a PhD in her content area, and they appropriately corrected me when I accidentally referred to her as "Mrs."

Good god this is obnoxious. I would keep using mrs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Always Ms./Mr./Mrs. For some reason, I cannot bring myself to call teachers by their first names, even if I'm 15-20 years older than they are. It's bizarre.

However, I prefer that teachers (and everyone really) call me by my first name. So I'm not really a fan of formality, just with teachers apparently.

This is me too! Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Always Ms./Mr./Mrs. For some reason, I cannot bring myself to call teachers by their first names, even if I'm 15-20 years older than they are. It's bizarre.

However, I prefer that teachers (and everyone really) call me by my first name. So I'm not really a fan of formality, just with teachers apparently.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prefer parents use Ms with me, and I do so with them as well. We aren’t friends and the conversation is professional, not personal, so we shouldn’t use first names, IMO.

I mean, devil’s advocate here but in any other professional setting I’ve ever been in where it’s 2 adults dealing with each other, first names are used. (That said, I’m definitely not advocating to use first names…just wondering what’s normal)

I’m the teacher PP. It’s not really like that, though. I’m not saying this is the exact equivalent, but it’s like how you wouldn’t refer to your child’s dentist as Jim when discussing your kid’s dental care plan. You would say “Hi, Dr. Jones!” We are professionals discussing education with you.

There is also to me the need to maintain that distance because you never want parents to get the idea that they’re special friends with you which could affect how they perceive how you treat their child. I’m warm, we are in this together, but I’m never going to call you Heather, I’m always going to use Ms. Smith and I prefer parents do the same.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I initiate with Ms/Mrs/Mr but if they respond with Sally or Bob I call them by their first name.

+1 This. I'd add please use "Dr." if appropriate. My kids have a teacher who also holds a PhD in her content area, and they appropriately corrected me when I accidentally referred to her as "Mrs."

Good god this is obnoxious. I would keep using mrs.

No, you are obnoxious. The PP's kids are correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I initiate with Ms/Mrs/Mr but if they respond with Sally or Bob I call them by their first name.

+1 This. I'd add please use "Dr." if appropriate. My kids have a teacher who also holds a PhD in her content area, and they appropriately corrected me when I accidentally referred to her as "Mrs."

Good god this is obnoxious. I would keep using mrs.

And then you would wonder why your child isn't getting treated as well as the other students.

This is not the hill to die on. Yes, calling school teachers and dumb admins with Ed degrees "doctor" is asinine (though if you are sending your kids to a fancy private school being taught by people Ph.D.s in math, science, and the humanites, maybe you should just be grateful you can afford such a wonderful education for your kids.) But what does it cost you to just humor them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prefer parents use Ms with me, and I do so with them as well. We aren’t friends and the conversation is professional, not personal, so we shouldn’t use first names, IMO.

I mean, devil’s advocate here but in any other professional setting I’ve ever been in where it’s 2 adults dealing with each other, first names are used. (That said, I’m definitely not advocating to use first names…just wondering what’s normal)

I’m the teacher PP. It’s not really like that, though. I’m not saying this is the exact equivalent, but it’s like how you wouldn’t refer to your child’s dentist as Jim when discussing your kid’s dental care plan. You would say “Hi, Dr. Jones!” We are professionals discussing education with you.

There is also to me the need to maintain that distance because you never want parents to get the idea that they’re special friends with you which could affect how they perceive how you treat their child. I’m warm, we are in this together, but I’m never going to call you Heather, I’m always going to use Ms. Smith and I prefer parents do the same.

It's actually Dr. Smith. I have a Doctor of Arts degree in Theater from University of Buttf*ck at Nowheresville.

[Anonymous]

Our child’s teachers absorb more than enough disrespect—including buddy-buddy behavior by parents who will turn around and complain to the principal about Larla’s various discontents in a hot minute without the courtesy of a direct prior conversation—in the course of a day already.

To me they are Ms. Smiths unless and until they explicitly say otherwise.

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher and honestly, I don’t care what you call me. Mrs Smith, Ms Smith, Smith, Anne Smith, Anne. Like who cares, I am going to answer regardless of how you address me.