Is this excessive or just modern parenting?

[Anonymous]

My son is about this age. He knows how to count up to 14 or so. He remembers facts and brings up what he knows in conversation. But I don't think he would be able to recite an assignment like "here are 5 things I know about gold fish."

What he does instead is he turns any new information into a colorful story where his imaginary friend is the lead character. That's probably a more common way that kids this age learn - they take new information and build it to their play.

So is your niece exceptionally bright by comparison because she can count to 50? Similarly, is an adult who put in the effort to memorize a poem/passage 'smarter' than others? I don't think so. But definitely shows that some parts of their brain like memory are well trained in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is about this age. He knows how to count up to 14 or so. He remembers facts and brings up what he knows in conversation. But I don't think he would be able to recite an assignment like "here are 5 things I know about gold fish."

What he does instead is he turns any new information into a colorful story where his imaginary friend is the lead character. That's probably a more common way that kids this age learn - they take new information and build it to their play.

So is your niece exceptionally bright by comparison because she can count to 50? Similarly, is an adult who put in the effort to memorize a poem/passage 'smarter' than others? I don't think so. But definitely shows that some parts of their brain like memory are well trained in this situation.

Memorizing passages doesn't equal high IQ, but people with high IQ do tend to have an easier time with memory tasks.

The better question to ask is why this child's "accomplishments" make you feel threatened?

It's possible to be proud of your own child and still clap for the progress other children are making.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The child is loved and her parents are amazed by what she can do - all good things.

Emphasis on academics is not new - my parents did the same.

With my little kids I do not push reading or math at all because I don’t see the value in doing so before school. It’s not fun for me to be the teacher and I’d rather we all go outside and play.

But if the kid and her parents are connecting and having fun then good for them.

I think it's the sharing that is the problem. The mom wants others to be amazed by her kid. Not a good thing when she's not doing anything amazing.

If it’s a family only type album/sharing I don’t see the issue. Grandparents in particular will be equally enthralled. My brother is constantly texting our family thread with his toddlers athletic “achievements” like hitting a baseball or whatever. I don’t always respond but I get that he is just proud and wants to share.

[Anonymous]

I like seeing videos/photos of my friends' kids. I don't assume they are trying to brag and I think it's cute.

[Anonymous]

My 3.5 yr old wanted to learn how to spell his name a year ago. It's five letters and we taught it to the beat of B-I-N-G-O song. Then he wanted to learn to write it. So we've taught him. Then he wanted to learn to write other things, so he can draw a bunch of shapes and letters of other people in the family. We are following his lead. The only time we prompt him to write is when we're at a restaurant and encouraging him to draw to keep him calm and quiet. But this isn't on social media. That's just not our way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The child is loved and her parents are amazed by what she can do - all good things.

Emphasis on academics is not new - my parents did the same.

With my little kids I do not push reading or math at all because I don’t see the value in doing so before school. It’s not fun for me to be the teacher and I’d rather we all go outside and play.

But if the kid and her parents are connecting and having fun then good for them.

I think it's the sharing that is the problem. The mom wants others to be amazed by her kid. Not a good thing when she's not doing anything amazing.

If it’s a family only type album/sharing I don’t see the issue. Grandparents in particular will be equally enthralled. My brother is constantly texting our family thread with his toddlers athletic “achievements” like hitting a baseball or whatever. I don’t always respond but I get that he is just proud and wants to share.

+1 agreed. My family has a dedicated group chat for proud parent/kid stuff. One of my BILs is not on it by his choice and the other two never respond so I strongly suspect they have it muted. But my parents and one of my sisters ask for pics if those of us with little kids go over a week without sending updates. We also have one for pets (2/3 BILs are active on this one 😂). I think it’s good to keep it separate from normal group chat things so people who don’t want baby spam can opt out but people who do (grandparents) have access to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My cousin posts daily photos & videos of her 3.5yo daughter’s intellectual accomplishments on our family’s sharing platform.

The latest was her daughter writing out words. Previously it was tracing letters, counting to 50, memorizing facts, and playing STEM related games.

We don’t do these scholarly activities at home, but I’m not here to contrast parenting styles. I’m glad their daughter is bright. Girl power! I’m here to ask is this what’s going on in other families as well? Will this really give kids a leg up in school or will they be bored in class when others are learning?

Well, if the kid is happy to do those things, it's ok-maybe the kid is going to be really smart in school. Most likely, she'll be high average and that's ok too. I have 2 kids who graduated 2nd and 9th in their HS class (one's an engineer and one is in hospitality mgt), one of them didn't walk till 15 months and another wet the bed until age 5. You never know

[Anonymous]

Your kid is probably fine don’t worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Does your kid go to daycare? My almost 4 year old learned how to trace and write letters and count in school, so I don't think any of the things you mentioned are unusual for that age. Pretty sure any kid can "memorize facts". Kids have amazing memories!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My cousin posts daily photos & videos of her 3.5yo daughter’s intellectual accomplishments on our family’s sharing platform.

The latest was her daughter writing out words. Previously it was tracing letters, counting to 50, memorizing facts, and playing STEM related games.

We don’t do these scholarly activities at home, but I’m not here to contrast parenting styles. I’m glad their daughter is bright. Girl power! I’m here to ask is this what’s going on in other families as well? Will this really give kids a leg up in school or will they be bored in class when others are learning?

I would not do this with my child nor do I think it is "best practice" but I'm sure other families do it. Every parent gets to choose how they want to parent.

In terms of posting on a sharing platform - I'm sure my parents would love if I sent them more photos and videos and I do take some of my daughter and her accomplishments (more in the climbing realm) so NBD as long as it's private. I don't support posting on social media.

[Anonymous]

Studies have shown that reading to toddlers and transitioning them to reading on their own is the best thing parents can do for their kids (academic-wise). Whether it's about rocketships or butterflies doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

If there are lonely or distanced elderly relatives that really look forward to daily updates then I can see the usefulness of the private group postings. You seem to mostly object to the posts being so academic vs fun/silly/cute. Do you think they are pushing the girl into reading/math too early/hard? Or do you just feel they are bragging? There’s not a lot of evidence that pushing early academics is good for long term learning but I wouldn’t get too worked up about it I mean it’s a game they can play with her and share with the family ultimately.