Work experiences you couldn't move past easily?

[Anonymous]

My DH once worked in a research lab. The guy in the bay across his bench was busy setting something up when he silently sank to the floor. There were several doctors on the floor who came rushing but it turned out that the poor young man had died of a brain aneurysm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how many of these would not have occurred in a remote work environment.

This is exactly why some managers want workers back in the office. And some workers who have only been remote, they have no idea what they've missed (like flying objects near their heads).

[Anonymous]

haha, need some Congressional staffers' stories here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was hired to transform a department, but began uncovering lots of crooked contracts and nepotism. I think what they wanted really was someone to bring in shiny objects and tools, not someone who actually managed. Had started to job hunt when the pandemic hit and was stuck there, finally left and still cannot believe I worked at such a toxic place. It’s incredible to see how this place is one others think is amazing when coming in but, once you are inside, you understand it is the definition of a house of cards.

Sounds exactly like where I work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:haha, need some Congressional staffers' stories here!

It would be the longest thread ever!

[Anonymous]

When I was client facing and younger (single, no kids) I had a running list in my head of the most egregious examples of sexist or just plain bully behavior by clients and execs at my company towards me. I am over it now and I only remember a few really “am I dreaming? This can’t be real” incidents.

In my current role, I have a running list of comments and incidents from company leaders that demonstrate that my function is not respected or prioritized. If and when I leave, I will share them in my interview. I have raised a few to my boss and he was basically “get over it” except I can’t. Individually each incident is not that bad, but all together, they paint a picture of our company’s actual culture and priorities.

[Anonymous]

I worked for a sociopath. The original boss was fine but got replaced by the sociopath who gave wine to a recovered alcoholic, got the old boss fired, didn’t bother to get us new business, caused people to leave and found ways to fire others until he left and went to work for another DC nonprofit. I’m sure he caused mayhem and made them lose thousands of dollars too while earning 200k+ for himself.

[Anonymous]

A few years ago I was running a major charity event for a children's nonprofit and discovered that a staff member was stealing donations. I had concrete proof and brought it to the president. She brushed it off, so I went to the board co-presidents. I was inadvertently copied on an email saying that I was a huge PITA and was causing everyone so much grief. Nevermind the person stealing $$$$ from children. Not a single person stood up for me.

It still shocks me to even think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago I was running a major charity event for a children's nonprofit and discovered that a staff member was stealing donations. I had concrete proof and brought it to the president. She brushed it off, so I went to the board co-presidents. I was inadvertently copied on an email saying that I was a huge PITA and was causing everyone so much grief. Nevermind the person stealing $$$$ from children. Not a single person stood up for me.

It still shocks me to even think about it.

I had a similar issue. A well-liked ex-employee of a nonprofit was using Google AdWords dollars to run ad campaigns to promote his resume in Google search. I discovered this and reported it to the head attorney for the nonprofit. Colleagues from California is began to petition ME as to how this guy was a “good guy” (after he stole advertising—wth) and I referred them to our organization’s counsel. But somehow I was the bad guy?

I bet the organization did nothing about it.

[Anonymous]

I was in a leadership position in a company and we brought in a new head. He was misogynistic and just unpleasant. A couple of women left because of his misogyny, and I got the sense he was trying to make it harder and more unpleasant for me so I quit too. That actually caused the whole group to fold and the guy lost his job too. He moved to another job where he lasted for a year before they fired him for the same behavior to his female boss. I ended up 100% better off in the end, but it was unpleasant at the time.

[Anonymous]

I was sexually harassed by a supervisor. Plenty of lewd comments. I never reported him because I was afraid it would end poorly for me because people wouldn't want to deal with it, or because I wouldn't be believed.

If I had it to do all over again, I would absolutely report it, right away.

[Anonymous]

TW sexual assault.

I was sexually assaulted by my boss about 4 months into the job. Not rape, but very intimate unwanted touching. It was so shocking I just froze up. I remember I smiled when it was happening, which kills me, but I now understand is a common trauma response when you're scared of offended or escalating. It was so horrible. I still have flash backs about it sometimes and it gives me these flashes of rage, because I froze in the moment and I wish I'd been able to say something, swat his hands away, anything.

I was so new, and the company didn't have a proper HR department, so I wasn't sure who to tell or how to address it. I wound up confiding in a colleague who I'd become friends with during my time there. She told me "oh I'm sure he didn't mean it that way -- that's just the way he is." Over the next couple years, I confided in a couple other people there and got similar responses. In the meantime, that same supervisor made himself my "mentor" and befriended me. Never actually touched me again but continued to raise sexual topics with me frequently, ask me intimate questions about my relationship. He also interjected himself into my personal life, would weigh in on any major life decision, gave me tons of unsolicited advice about things like how to wear my hair and dress. I kept trying to raise these issues with colleagues or other supervisors. Each time they would acknowledge that he did these things, but kept telling me "that's just how he is" and "you have to find a way to work with it."

I LOVED the work I did at this place, it's the reason I stayed. It was so fulfilling and meaningful to me, and there was nowhere else I could do it. Leaving felt like a big loss to me, and still does on some level. I still sometimes wish I could go back, not to that specific workplace, but to the same work. After I quit, I kept thinking about what had happened, how powerless I'd felt, how wrong the situation felt. I wound up writing a letter to the company's executive leadership explaining what had happened to me and what had happened. I wasn't asking for anything, I just felt like it needed to be in writing, that having them on formal notice to it might help the next person.

They ignored it, three months later the person who assaulted me was promoted into executive leadership. It felt like a gut punch.

I still think about it all the time. I sometimes see this company in the news for good work they do (and they do in fact do good work) and it feels painful to think about. I've gone to therapy, I've worked through it using CBT. It resurfaced all this stuff about my childhood (I was physically abused by both parents when I was a child). It feels like a pivotal moment in my life but I've struggled to turn it into something that feels transformative in a good way. I think worse than the assault, or any of the harassment, was just how everyone kept telling me "this is fine, this is normal." How not a single person said "that sucks, it shouldn't have happened." Not one! I'm still pretty messed up about it, tbh, though I try not to think about it this much. Reading other people's stories brought it back though.

[Anonymous]

To the poster who put a TW on their post for sexual assault - what happened to you was terrible and wrong and it sounds like this individual was enabled by people around him who probably also knew it was wrong but didn’t want to jeopardize their own positions. I’m so sorry that happened to you, and that it caused you so much pain and led to you leaving a job you loved. Feeling powerless is such a terrible feeling. Thank you for sharing. You are strong, resilient, and powerful.

[Anonymous]

I went on a one-year detail assignment at another agency. I fit in with the team, enjoyed the work, and the detail managers decided they wanted to make me permanent. The job at the new place was a promotion, a huge career boost, and I was so excited.

I naively thought my managers at the other job would support the move. However, instead of supporting the opportunity, they actively tried to sabotage me and required that I return early, citing "program needs" as the reason.

It was bullshit, and I was pissed. Thankfully the position posted at the new job, I applied and returned to the role, and I've been in it for six years and love it.

I have never gotten past my previous managers' professional envy and attempts to block me. It was an eye-opener for me that insecure managers will secretly suppress growth.

[Anonymous]

- Found a letter in a client folder on a company intranet that included graphic sexual comments about women known to both the client and the executive who wrote it. Reported it to my manager who escalated it. It was rugswept. Both manager and I left the company shortly thereafter.

- Had a casual relationship with a coworker. Department reorganized and I ended up reporting to coworker. Disclosed the personal relationship to HR and ended up getting downsized because I was ‘too aggressive’ about not being okay with the reporting relationship.