Death anniversary

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Donating blood on those anniversaries always makes me feel good, like I'm "paying it forward" or at least helping others.

This is so nice, I love this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a much harder time on my dad's birthday and also on my own than I had on the first anniversary of his death. But the grief hits me (so hard sometimes) randomly, so rather than try to do something on a particular date, I just deal with it as it coms up. Same with trying to celebrate him, although I'm still at the point of sadness rather than joy regarding memories of him.

+1
The first Thanksgiving the first Christmss, the first Easter, all of the "1sts" since passing was harder than a particular day (anniv)
And sometimes a smell, or a song or something random will also trigger grief, but lately it's been easing into a happy memory

[Anonymous]

My friend is a Hindu and she donates to a charity (and volunteers at a local org) on the day of her father’s death to commemorate the day. She finds in healing and it helps her focus her energy.

[Anonymous]

I'm Jewish so we light a candle each year on anniversary of a parent's death and then say a prayer with 9+ other Jewish adults.

Maybe you could do something similar that is meaningful to you -- light a candle and talk with your family about your parent for a few minutes.

[Anonymous]

In Judaism, the anniversary of a death is called a yahrzeit and is observed every year by lighting a candle and reciting a prayer for mourning. I'm not sure how comforting that would be if it's not done within the context of your faith and culture, but I thought it might be a useful example for you to pull from.

If you're a praying person, reciting or reading a comforting prayer might help. Alternatively, a poem.

If you live near the grave, a visit to their headstone and a "chat" with them can be cathartic.

If your family is up for it, getting together to tell stories about the deceased can help remember their lives. If not, maybe try talking to a friend. Sharing stories about your loved one keeps their memory alive.

[Anonymous]

I have gone to the cemetery and visited as well as gone to a favorite bar and drank my dad's favorite beer. The beer one seems most fitting and makes me happy - especially since it's an old bar that he grew up going to in the city.

[Anonymous]

My brother, mom, and DH, DS, and me get together with my dad's brother and his girlfriend. In the past, we've rented a boat amd spent the day on the ocean (which has a lot of significance to our family) amd shared stories. This year we couldn't make the boat work so we are getting together for dinner. We each found a pic of my dad and will share the story surrounding the Pic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend is a Hindu and she donates to a charity (and volunteers at a local org) on the day of her father’s death to commemorate the day. She finds in healing and it helps her focus her energy.

+1
I am Hindu too. You can do a prayer/puja/havan during the Barsi (1 yr death anniversary), then on the 4th year death anniversary. Usually you also provide meals to others in remembrance. The first year of death, every month on that particular date you feed roti to a cow or feed the birds and donate grains to the needy. I give to Manna Food Bank.

Hindus also have a special fortnight for praying for all our ancestors called shraadh or pitru paksha. My mom sponsors a meal at a local orphanage for the days of remembrance (birth day, death day) instead of giving to any religious place. we have alters at home for prayers.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C5%9Ar%C4%81ddha#:~:text=%C5%9Ar%C4%81ddha%20(or%20Shradda%3B%20Sanskrit%3A,especially%20to%20one's%20dead%20parents.

we usually share pictures and stories on our family group chat. At home, we hang the pictures of our departed loved ones and ancestors on the south wall.

In Hindu belief, a person must pay his/her debt to parents, teachers and God.

I loved the idea of donating blood. How beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:our religion (hinduism) also has a ceremony on the 1st death anniversary. I'm not very religious but I did find a temple that day, one year after my Dad's passing, and performed the ceremony with a priest. I was instructed to bring a few things, like photos of him, his parents, some food that he likes. I swear, I closed my eyes at the end and saw a vision of my father there. It was very healing!

Since then I do think of him on that day, but, as others have mentioned, I think of him more on his birthday.

🧡

[Anonymous]

Gift of Tree. In memory of any one you can get trees planted.

https://dnr.maryland.gov/forests/Pages/treemendous/default.aspx

[Anonymous]

I would just reiterate to find your own path and not expect that you will find an answer that matches everyone's needs. You won't, its impossible because people grieve differently. The best gift is to let people find their own paths without pressure.

[Anonymous]

My siblings and I celebrate our father by going to Disney World on Father’s Day. He loved, loved, loved Disney World. Since we cope with dark humor, we call it fatherless day. We don’t bring any of our kids. It’s just the 3 of us.