Stupid question, but can I leave my baby in the car for this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly everyone says no, you shouldn't.
And you shouldn't. But not because there is any danger to the baby. Of course there isn't. What you want to do is perfectly reasonable and in most other times and places would be what every mother does.

However... here in 2023 in the US, it is a dangerous thing to do not for the baby, but for you. Within just a few days of doing this, you will be called into the daycare directors office and chastised. You will also become the focus of mommy gossip and glares and judgement.
There is a non-zero chance someone will report you to CPS.

So, sadly, you need to take your baby out of the car.

I agree with this. In my state, Maryland, it likely wouldn't be illegal (if the car was within eyesight of where you were), but I'd be worried about someone complaining anyway.

We never had a car seat that popped in and out like that, either, not everyone does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way. Your baby could be carjacked in front of the preschool. The car could mysteriously roll away. You could have a heart attack and no one would ever notice your car in the line. YOU could be kidnapped.


/S

Exactly. I mean what if the baby tosses his toy and it engages the Rube Goldberg machine in the backseat of your car, initiating an improbably series of events that brings about WWIII?

I bet OP hasn't even considered the danger of this. Unreal.

[Anonymous]

Carrying the car seat seems kind of ridiculous. Just take the baby out of the car seat and carry it with you. The only other acceptable option might be to ask another parent to walk your child into the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do it, personally. I think the people saying you have to take the carseat with you are being overzealous. If the area is secure and you are within sight the whole time, I don't really get what the danger is supposed to be.

A mom did this at our preschool drop off and when she came back her key wouldn’t open the car. Huge huge ordeal w/ firemen, broken lock, etc to get back in and she was chews out by the first responders (head of preschool was obligated to call after about 20 minutes)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do it, personally. I think the people saying you have to take the carseat with you are being overzealous. If the area is secure and you are within sight the whole time, I don't really get what the danger is supposed to be.

A mom did this at our preschool drop off and when she came back her key wouldn’t open the car. Huge huge ordeal w/ firemen, broken lock, etc to get back in and she was chews out by the first responders (head of preschool was obligated to call after about 20 minutes)

I mean sure, there is the possibility that in the time it takes to walk the toddler to the school, the car key will mysteriously change or the battery will die or something bizarre. There is also the chance that while walking to the school, a tree will fall and kill mom and the kids. Or maybe a tornado comes and rips of the school building roof? Or maybe a rabid racoon is on the loose in the parking lot. In those cases, wouldn't we all rather the baby be left in the safety of the car? But no, let's only assume the safe thing is the thing that puts more work on the mother.

[Anonymous]

If you actually have to go into a building, you need to take baby with you. If you are walking your to the door and dropping off, leave baby in car.

[Anonymous]

I’m sure nothing would happen but I wouldn’t on principle. Possibly because if I started doing it all I might inadvertently do it in other settings where I would be away from the car for longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way. Your baby could be carjacked in front of the preschool. The car could mysteriously roll away. You could have a heart attack and no one would ever notice your car in the line. YOU could be kidnapped.


/S

Or you could forget the baby is in the car and leave him in there for hours….

[Anonymous]

At our preschool, children were released to us at an external door, 10 feet from the parking lot. Some parents left siblings in their cars, always with it running, or windows open on a very mild day. I saw no issue with this, especially because these parents would usually wait in their cars until the pickup line died down, then get their child.

Of course, the safety and general busyness of the area matter, as does the distance from the car to the drop off point.

You could also befriend another parent who can stand at the car and watch your baby, or help walk your child in. When we went to a preschool where we had to walk our kids inside and down a flight of stairs, there was another mom who would sometimes sit in my car with my baby and toddler if she had already dropped her child off, or walk my preschooler in with her kid if my baby was sleeping. I am still so grateful for her kindness!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do it, personally. I think the people saying you have to take the carseat with you are being overzealous. If the area is secure and you are within sight the whole time, I don't really get what the danger is supposed to be.

A mom did this at our preschool drop off and when she came back her key wouldn’t open the car. Huge huge ordeal w/ firemen, broken lock, etc to get back in and she was chews out by the first responders (head of preschool was obligated to call after about 20 minutes)

I mean sure, there is the possibility that in the time it takes to walk the toddler to the school, the car key will mysteriously change or the battery will die or something bizarre. There is also the chance that while walking to the school, a tree will fall and kill mom and the kids. Or maybe a tornado comes and rips of the school building roof? Or maybe a rabid racoon is on the loose in the parking lot. In those cases, wouldn't we all rather the baby be left in the safety of the car? But no, let's only assume the safe thing is the thing that puts more work on the mother.

Exactly. The idea that the first responders chewed her out after that is ridiculous -- I'm sure she was very upset and scared and probably beating herself up about it. She did a perfectly normal thing and here you are sitting around saying "SEE what a terrible mom." You are the awful one here, not that mom, who just had a scary thing happen to her and her baby.

Say a mom took the baby out of the car for drop off, then tripped and fell and the car seat went flying. Would the people who came to help her and the baby then criticize her for falling? For trying to carry the car seat while also tending to her toddler? For wearing the wrong shoes? For being tired or uncoordinated?

Probably, which is why being a mom in our culture sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way. Your baby could be carjacked in front of the preschool. The car could mysteriously roll away. You could have a heart attack and no one would ever notice your car in the line. YOU could be kidnapped.


/S

Or you could forget the baby is in the car and leave him in there for hours….

Yes, that is very likely to happen while dropping your child off at daycare. You might just randomly decide to walk to work.

Did you know that when children die in hot cars, it's usually because the parent did not realize they child was in the car at all? The baby falls asleep, the parent forgets it's their day for daycare drop off and not their spouse's, they drive to work and get out of the car and don't realize until later the baby was in the car. Especially happens with parents who are exhausted from sleepless nights.

It does not happen because a parent makes the intentional choice to leave a baby in the backseat of a car while performing a short errand during which the car is always in sight. Literally a child has never overheated in a car because their parent decided to leave them in the car while the dropped off a sibling, grabbed a coffee, picked up takeout, or similar. Never. There is zero evidence this is a danger in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Carrying the car seat seems kind of ridiculous. Just take the baby out of the car seat and carry it with you. The only other acceptable option might be to ask another parent to walk your child into the school.

Have you never heard of bucket style infant car seats? It's way easier to carry that type car seat for a few minutes than unbuckling a likely asleep newborn and then buckling him back in.

To answer OP's question: under the circumstances you describe, yes, I would leave the baby in the car and quickly drop off the toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do it, personally. I think the people saying you have to take the carseat with you are being overzealous. If the area is secure and you are within sight the whole time, I don't really get what the danger is supposed to be.

A mom did this at our preschool drop off and when she came back her key wouldn’t open the car. Huge huge ordeal w/ firemen, broken lock, etc to get back in and she was chews out by the first responders (head of preschool was obligated to call after about 20 minutes)

I accidentally locked my baby in the car (was sitting in the front seat with him in his car seat in the front but we weren’t driving, just waiting for a friend to come by before we left. When I thought my friend was nearby, I buckled him into the back seat while the car was running, automatically shut the door, which locked with him inside and me outside.) I immediately called 911, a million fire and police came within 2 minutes(so nice to see) and all reassured me that it was no big deal, happened all the time, not to worry, etc. One guy said, the concern is if you forgot he was there, not if he’s in there for a couple minutes like this. So I wouldn’t worry about that.obviously it’s not ideal to use resources like that, but he was never in danger and it’s not worth being chewed out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do it, personally. I think the people saying you have to take the carseat with you are being overzealous. If the area is secure and you are within sight the whole time, I don't really get what the danger is supposed to be.

A mom did this at our preschool drop off and when she came back her key wouldn’t open the car. Huge huge ordeal w/ firemen, broken lock, etc to get back in and she was chews out by the first responders (head of preschool was obligated to call after about 20 minutes)

Sure, but this can also happen when you aren’t walking away from your car. My oldest locked himself in the car - I made the mistake of putting my bag with my keys and phone in the car first with him, then walked around to put his baby sister in her seat. He locked the car within 5 seconds. Thankfully I was able to signal to him how to unlock it, but I was about to find someone to help me call 911. Not sure why the mom at your school waited 20 minutes for someone else to call.

[Anonymous]

If you're not going inside, it takes less than five minutes, and you're in sight of the car the whole time? And you could run there in under 30 seconds? Absolutely I'd leave the baby in the car.

You people are crazy. What on earth is going to happen? Even the worst case scenario about the broken key isn't actually an emergency. If you can't get the door open in five minutes, you break a window. Case closed.