My younger girl talks about vacation all the time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Four years old is pretty young to be talking about a concept like vacation, when it isn't something your family really does. Can you talk to her more about what she means by vacation? Maybe her BFF is always playing "vacation" at school and they go and see Ariel or Belle at Disney or something, and that's what your daughter thinks a "vacation" means?

Similarly, at three my kid was obsessed with vacation but it was all pretend play where he liked to pretend he was on a plane or train and all the activities during travel, and some random things at the destination like taxi and hotel and food. It was Covid so that year we didn't go anywhere at all! But his vacations were to Japan and farflung amazing places, ha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP who questions what she means and why at 4 this is something she's noticing or talking about. At 4 is she's gone in 4 vacations and maybe remembers 2 of them, who is telling her she doesn't vacation enough? At that age vacation was exciting to me because we got to bring sugary cereal in a cooler and swim in a hotel pool.

Reinforce your families expectations when she talks about it "we'll plan a nice trip for next summer."

Meanwhile, maybe she does enjoy adventures and new activities. Figure out what those activities are and plan fun day trips - hiking with a picnic, museum with a stop for ice cream, local pool etc.

By 4 my kids were well aware of what friends at school were doing in terms of travel. People in this area seem to travel a LOT and kids come to school with stories about the Bahamas and Disney and Europe and everywhere else.

Absolutely they are very aware and come home with stories of friends and naming places. The good thing is that age they don't have any sense of what's exotic or exciting or fancy so our 4yo thought Delaware was on par with Hawaii

They also just notice friends being gone from school and that is probably what they envy the most (kid getting to be home/away with family).

[Anonymous]

What does she actually say when she is 'talking about vacation"?

[Anonymous]

Add some family swim lessons on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I do think it's normal to do a few long weekend getaways. But often times the reason is to visit grandparents. Still, only one week a year seems like sad, and you're missing the opportunity to teach them all the lessons you learn from travel--flexibility, coping with changes to routine, to enjoy exploration, and basic skills for flights and airports. I would try to plan a few long-weekend trips by car.

I don't think never ever going to the beach is sustainable or fair to them. Why does your DH not like it, and why can't you swim?

[Anonymous]

We don’t take a ton of proper vacations, but we do lots of “adventures” that are more local. And yes, I call them adventures. At that age they don’t need much to be excited. We go camping, or spend the night at a state park, or on New Year’s Day i woke the kids up super early to drive to see the sunrise over the ocean (drove home that afternoon). It sounds like her friends at summer camp are all talking about their upcoming summer vacations. You could start doing more “mini vacations” on the weekends rather than activities/classes, if you’re able to do a night away.

[Anonymous]

vacation to Philadelphia? or to NYC. can do a weekend..

[Anonymous]

Op here. Due to covid, we did not travel for 2 years. She knows about vacation probably because she learns that teachers or kids are off daycare when they are on "vacation". And, teachers may ask kids how's their vacation when they are back.

We have gone to dc museums and baltimore pirt discovery like above. I am not a good driver, so I don't drive far away with kids by myself. She loves "vacation" because she loves hotel rooms with pool, all eating out, all fun everyday and seeing new things and buying souveniors etc..

Both kids have many late evening/weekend activities to take over almost every single week that I have signed them up and they enjoy it. The daycare break schedule is not often same as elementary school, so I do sometimes take random day off to take care of single kid. Long weekend is busy and crowded everywhere, and we hesitate to join the crowd. It is already exhausting for me to do that 1 week vacation/year because I am the main planner/taking care of everyone. If I don't plan anything, DH won't plan it.

[Anonymous]

Doing the same vacation every year really cuts down on the planning effort. We love to go to Elkins, WV for hikes and always stay in the same hotel. Kids love routines like that.

Do you have anxiety, is that the issue? I used to hate driving and traveling and crowds, but the combination of an anxiety med and kids getting older helped so much.

[Anonymous]

My kids are similarities obsessed with “vacation” - even though most of our trips that require an airplane have been to visit family. We can afford more vacation - both financially and time off work - but my kids are picky eaters, get car sick, and I couldn’t see the point of going somewhere just to spend hours in a hotel with napping or sleeping children.

Now that they are both school age, we have started doing mini trips with 1-2 nights away on long weekends a few times a year. We’ve taken them to Philly and Baltimore, Shenandoah hiking, Delaware beaches, etc. They even enjoy “day trips” to DC or Mt Vernon to do tourist things even though we live 15 min from the mall.

Sure there are plenty of families who go on many, long, or exotic trips. If the parents have a passion for travel and enjoy it, I see that as sharing their hobby with their kids. However, if you as a parent don’t enjoy traveling with kids, I don’t think kids are deprived by having 1 vacation week a year.

At age 4, I agree with you that many of the high quality school break camps available in the DMV area are far more fun and enriching than me dragging my kids all over a city we had to fly to. At camp, my kids have the focused attention and energy of enthusiastic young counselors who have arranged full days of age appropriate activities. On vacation there is fun, but there is also driving, time spent waiting for food at restaurants, sleeping in a strange bed, time spent waiting in line or for tours to start. Now that my kids are a bit older, vacation is starting to be more fun and by 3rd or 4th grade I think camp and vacation begins to be equal. Being able to read fluently enough to enjoy museums and historical displays, being old enough to walk all day, being able to stay up a bit later for special things like star gazing in a national park or fireworks - all those things make it easier to do activities on vacation. When my kids were 3-5, vacation felt like flying across the country to mostly eat chicken nuggets and play on playgrounds with 1-2 short activities mixed in each day.

[Anonymous]

I grew up going on one driving vacation per year.

I was like your daughter. I liked the idea of vacation. As soon as I could, I traveled as much as I could as often as I could.

Our family takes 10+ trips per year. When kids were younger, it may have been 5. We did lots of driving and Florida/Caribbean easy vacations at your kids’ ages. Pennsylvania is close and easy. Now we do bigger vacations like Hawaii, Europe, Asia, Alaska.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I do think it's normal to do a few long weekend getaways. But often times the reason is to visit grandparents. Still, only one week a year seems like sad, and you're missing the opportunity to teach them all the lessons you learn from travel--flexibility, coping with changes to routine, to enjoy exploration, and basic skills for flights and airports. I would try to plan a few long-weekend trips by car.

I don't think never ever going to the beach is sustainable or fair to them. Why does your DH not like it, and why can't you swim?

DP.

The kid is 4…. Lots of time to travel.

And my family hates the beach. We’ve been twice and my oldest kid is 15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s great that she likes vacation! We generally do three weeklong trips, and 3-4 long weekends away. Different people have different budgets and priorities- you do what works for you.

How is this comment helpful to the OP? It's a not so humble brag. Why not say "I'm a SAHM, so my kids are never in aftercare and we travel frequently... my children have been to 12 countries and 15 states..." So out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s great that she likes vacation! We generally do three weeklong trips, and 3-4 long weekends away. Different people have different budgets and priorities- you do what works for you.

How is this comment helpful to the OP? It's a not so humble brag. Why not say "I'm a SAHM, so my kids are never in aftercare and we travel frequently... my children have been to 12 countries and 15 states..." So out of touch.

I just posted that we go on 10 trips per year. Some people prioritize travel.

I don’t work now but I used to work. When I worked, we still did three weeklong vacations and weekend trips.

I once dated a guy who didn’t travel. He didn’t value it and it wasn’t a match. DH likes to travel and we traveled a lot together when we were dating, married without kids and now that we have kids.

[Anonymous]

I think it's not super worth it when they are so little and still nap. And driving alone with tiny tots is a headache because you can't help them with things the way you can from the passenger seat.

Swimming lessons for you and your older kid, OP. It's important for safety.