Making kids go to sibling sports events

[Anonymous]

That makes zero sense if he can safely stay home. Swim meets suck even as a parent. Many hours to watch your kid swim for less than 5 minutes. Mind you, I am a big fan of summer swim teams because kids learn how to swim well by doing them. But, the meets are huge time drags. I volunteered to time just so I could stay awake. The only worse sport is skiing- almost the same time requirements but you get to be cold too.

If your kid is competing in some actual championship event then it is nice if the family comes along.

[Anonymous]

No I don’t make my kids who didn’t make the a meet come to the meet to cheer on their siblings. I let them sleep in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When a kid is old enough to stay home alone, do you ever still make them go to a sibling's sport events even if they don't want to?

Is it different if it's a swim team and one kid is in an A meet and another in the B meet? My B meet kid doesn't want to go to the A meet, even though they will have tons of friends there. That kid is 13 and can stay home alone, but will likely be on screens the entire time we are gone. I would rather have them with us and in the fresh air and socializing. Plus it's their team! They refuse to join in team cheers unless they're swimming that day. They're otherwise not pouty about swim team, I get that they're sad they are not in the A meets, but I think there is value in coming to cheer on siblings and friends.

Curious what your family "policy" is about swim or other sports in general.

I would never.

[Anonymous]

At 13?
Hell, no. You are crazy, OP. Thats ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I don't force it. My younger kid is better than my older kid at their shared sport. Younger one almost always chooses to go to older sibling's games if available. Older one goes to younger's maybe 50% of the time they are available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When a kid is old enough to stay home alone, do you ever still make them go to a sibling's sport events even if they don't want to?

Is it different if it's a swim team and one kid is in an A meet and another in the B meet? My B meet kid doesn't want to go to the A meet, even though they will have tons of friends there. That kid is 13 and can stay home alone, but will likely be on screens the entire time we are gone. I would rather have them with us and in the fresh air and socializing. Plus it's their team! They refuse to join in team cheers unless they're swimming that day. They're otherwise not pouty about swim team, I get that they're sad they are not in the A meets, but I think there is value in coming to cheer on siblings and friends.

Curious what your family "policy" is about swim or other sports in general.

I would take them. I would comment on team cheers and good sportsmanship before you go but at the meet, let the coaches handle.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids and only 1 swam in the A meet today. It was an away meet 30 mins from home and we needed to leave at 7:15am. I wasn't going to wake my two other kids up who weren't swimming so early, especially the day after the last day of school - so only I went to the meet with the swimmer while my husband stayed home.

That said - I would like them all to come to home meets. For our family, it wouldn't be an issue in terms of hurt feeling for the other 2.

Usually my kids they don't have to go to everyone else's events - except for big deal ones. The boys went to her dance recital, we all went to the middle school play, etc. and play off games, etc. But if all my kids had to go to everything of their siblings' - they'd never get to hang out with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:JFC. I can’t imagine the torture of having to swim in your own B team meets and then go to a sibling’s A team meets and cheer your sibling on. Give your kid some peace.

Summer swim team is the worst.

What if other years the current B sibling is the A meet swimmer and vice versa, since the age groups often determine their standing. When they're a B meet swimmer they should just sulk and hide, but when they're an A meet swimmer they can come and celebrate? Fwiw my A meet swimmer is also swimming B meets, and my B meet swimmer may make it to an A meet in a stroke this year--it's fluid, so it's not such an easy thing.

I wonder what league you are in. In NVSL you can only swim two strokes in A meets, so really everyone swims B meets to swim the other 2 strokes that week.

[Anonymous]

Don’t force, unless kid has something entertaining to do and space to do it. Swim meets are long and boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:JFC. I can’t imagine the torture of having to swim in your own B team meets and then go to a sibling’s A team meets and cheer your sibling on. Give your kid some peace.

Summer swim team is the worst.

What if other years the current B sibling is the A meet swimmer and vice versa, since the age groups often determine their standing. When they're a B meet swimmer they should just sulk and hide, but when they're an A meet swimmer they can come and celebrate? Fwiw my A meet swimmer is also swimming B meets, and my B meet swimmer may make it to an A meet in a stroke this year--it's fluid, so it's not such an easy thing.

I wonder what league you are in. In NVSL you can only swim two strokes in A meets, so really everyone swims B meets to swim the other 2 strokes that week.

In MCSL you can do 3 strokes plus the IM in the A meet. Our team also has a rule that if you swam an event at the A meet you can’t swim it at the next B meet, so most of the best swimmers only go to A meets.

[Anonymous]

Did the younger one have to go to the older one's activities? It doesn't have to be perfect, but there has to be some equal consideration.

The older one needs to know the younger one's activities, be part of it. See them compete. See them with their friends. Observe their sibling and know about the sibling's experience outside of the family dynamic.

Eventually these two people will be equals, treat each other as equals. Ideally. That will be what you want. The younger one can't be expected to have been -that- much more invested in the life of the older one, without it being reciprocated.

[Anonymous]

No. It’s hard enough as a parent to sit through a 6 or more hours of baseball doubleheaders.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not. I don’t make my 12 yo daughter go to her siblings events, for any sports or activities. We stopped making the kids when they were old enough to stay home alone.

Who cares if they are on screens and have a day at home to relax. It sounds like he’s still involved in his own meet and practices. I would not make him attend the A meet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:JFC. I can’t imagine the torture of having to swim in your own B team meets and then go to a sibling’s A team meets and cheer your sibling on. Give your kid some peace.

Summer swim team is the worst.

What if other years the current B sibling is the A meet swimmer and vice versa, since the age groups often determine their standing. When they're a B meet swimmer they should just sulk and hide, but when they're an A meet swimmer they can come and celebrate? Fwiw my A meet swimmer is also swimming B meets, and my B meet swimmer may make it to an A meet in a stroke this year--it's fluid, so it's not such an easy thing.

Why is this hard? Have them to go the meets they swim in. If certain years they are not swimming in A meets and want to stay home, why is that a conflict? DH and I don’t even want to go to all of our kids games. We alternate for a lot of them. I can’t imagine forcing all of our kids to attend each siblings games.

[Anonymous]

Op here--thanks all. He had fun today, but we agreed he can stay home in the future. I appreciate the feedback.