Forum Index
»
Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Feeling insecure about my lack of education
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
OP, I agree with a lot of the pps. I have friends who only have a high school education but they read a lot and know a lot because they are interested in the world. I would add to 11:50's suggestions that you read the Washington Post or the New York Times regularly. You can learn a little about a lot of things by reading one of the higher-level newspapers.
|
Anonymous
| This might sound like a cliche, but I always thought that the first sign of intelligence is realizing how little you know. With that said PP's have given you some great advice. I have a degree and feel that I know nothing most of the time. Don't sell yourself short just because you didn't complete college. |
Anonymous
|
I think I'm on the same page as a lot of other posters here, when I say, "don't feel insecure." Your situation isn't that unusual. (and in the generations before us, quite a few mothers probably didn't have the formal education beyond high school either.) If it makes you feel better, I have an economics degree and an MBA in finance and I'd still probably look blankly at my child if she asked me all sorts of questions. Not everyone is good at every subject, and frankly, a lot of us went to school 20 years ago and don't remember half of what we learned anyway - and some of it has changed, like Pluto no longer being classified as a planet.
I have a couple of books that are geared toward answering the random questions kids ask. you could find a couple of those to keep in the house. Also, you'd have a great opportunity to help your child learn how to research things; you could look things up together and have fun with it. |
Anonymous
| Just the other day I was pondering the answer to 'why is the sky blue' and couldn't think of any good way to explain it...or of the exact answer itself! When my son is old enough to ask such questions, I'm just going to say 'That's a great question! Sometimes I don't know all the answers either...let's find out together" |
Anonymous
| Another note here from a PhD who knows less about most subjects than her 6yo (and when I ask him where he learned something interesting, he often tells me it is from a Magic Schoolbus video.) Having all the answers is definitely not a prerequisite for being a great parent, nor is any level of education. My mother who is my personal role model had no college education whatsoever - didn't stop her from producing three kids who value education or from being the greatest, wisest parent around. Don't knock yourself OP; I guarantee your children wont' either. |
Anonymous
This is a fabulous answer, and one I remember my parents doing all the time as a kid (and both of them had PhDs) It teaches your children research skills, to acknowledge when they don't know something, and encourages their natural curiosity, as well as creates quality bonding time for parent/child. You're doing everything right! |
Anonymous
|
OP -- go to your library and look up the following DVDs:
Joy of Science: http://www.thegreatcourses.com/tgc/courses/course_detail.aspx?cid=1100 How The Earth Works http://www.thegreatcourses.com/tgc/courses/course_detail.aspx?cid=1750 or The Nature of Earth http://www.thegreatcourses.com/tgc/courses/course_detail.aspx?cid=1700 Meteorology: Introduction to the Wonders of Weather http://www.thegreatcourses.com/tgc/courses/course_detail.aspx?cid=1796 History of the United States: http://www.thegreatcourses.com/tgc/courses/course_detail.aspx?cid=8500 or any of the other Teaching Company lectures in science or history or anything else that intrigues you or where you feel you don't know enough. I have been having a great time checking out these courses and learning so much that I missed in high school and college. I think it is great to tell kids that you will look it up together, but there's no substitute for actually having some of the answers to life's questions at your fingertips. |
Anonymous
| My mom dropped out of college after a year to marry my (highly educated) dad, and I always thought she is one of the smartest people I know! |
Anonymous
|
Think of all the things you DO know! Be proud of what you can share with the kids. Your interests, humor, compassion, respect for others, appreciation of DH's gifts, being honest about your regrets, how to soothe a newborn, etc. These are the things that matter. Anyone who looks down on you for lack of a degree or fancy job should be ashamed of THEMSELVES.
Kids often ask things just to get an adult to pay attention to them. "What do you think?" or "What made you think of that?" shows you are listening. It encourages a child to think and to not be afraid to be wrong. Talking at a child doesn't necessarily teach them anything. same as teaching. Maybe your DH could practice not answering directly next time. Don't sell yourself short. There are plenty of phds who aren't qualified to walk a dog, let alone take care of TWO kids AND a grown up (your boss). Your DH probably has a long list of things he admires about you that have nothing to do with a degree or Discovery Channel. Maybe he can try to mention some of those things you do well infront of the kids. That way they can learn about respect along with physics. Try to keep it in perspective. The DC area has a lot of people with BS degrees. (As in bull...) |
Anonymous
|
I have advanced degrees, and it isn't why I could give an answer about the waves and other general science questions. Read, read, read. If you are insecure about what you know, learn more. Doesn't take a degree to do that. We watch myth busters together ALL THE TIME, along with other science programming. When I don't know the answer, I say "I don't know. Let's look it up." Again, doesn't take a degree.
I suspect your husband married you for some very good reasons, so please don't feel so insecure. (also, there's a nice study out there about how men will answer anything their kids ask in an authoritative tone - even when speaking out their asses!) |
Anonymous
| Hey, what happened to the mean and snarky DCUM? So many helpful and supportive replies!!! OP, you have nothing to be ashamed of and have received some great advice here. One of the unexpected benefits of being a parent is all the stuff I'm learning from and with my kids! |
Anonymous
I know a few educated fools who don't have enough common sense to come in out a shower of manure. You sound as though you have a lot of common sense and this is more valuable than any degree. You also sound like a very nice and good person and this is more important than a degree. I wasn't able to finish college--ran out of money--and had to go to work but I read everything--fiction, non-fiction, scientific, history, go to art galleries, listen to classical music, in fact my dream was to sing opera, so I listen to a lot of opera and singers with trained voices. Truthfully, I am more of an intellectual than most of my friends. So many people have made significant contributions to society without having a degree. Eric Hoffer was a long shoreman and also a philosopher. I don't think he even graduated from high school. No one knows everything--a few people think they do--and looking up information is the best way of learning. My fifth grade teacher made us look up words so we would know how to use a dictionary. It worked and I read dictionaries, as well, because I like words and I won spelling bees in grammar school. I have encountered Degree snobs who ask me where I went to college and I tell them I was summa cum laude from the University of Hard Knocks with a BA, Masters, and Ph.D. They shut up. |
Anonymous
|
OP, you need to not be so hard on yourself.
There are things you can not learn from a book. There are many things you can teach them without even realizing it. Some of the most influential people in my life are those without degrees. Seriously. [My generation being the first "schooled" at top brick and mortar institutions - but could matter less to my family's prior generations, really.] There is a LOT of posturing here. D.C. is absolutely not a s smart as you think it is. Or as it thinks it is. Have you seen the driving, for example? Teach your kids to treat others well. Just think, you or your kids could be the first in the area with manners. |
Anonymous
|
I have a master's degree from a state university and I can honestly say that what I was taught was a load of garbage. When I started working in my field, I quickly realized that my professors were completely out of touch with how things work in the real world.
Don't be embarrassed by your limited higher education. Common sense is much more valuable than formal "book learning". BTW, the smartest person I've ever known was my great-uncle who couldn't read or write. As a child during the Great Depression, he had to leave school at a very young age (maybe 6 or 7) to do manual labor on a farm. Although he couldn't read a newspaper, he listened to the news on the radio and watched it on t.v. He followed politics and was extremely knowledgeable about a wide variety of topics. He always pushed me to get a degree, but I know that education can come from many places. I also think that the US should put more emphasis on trade and technical education. We need people with skills and so many kids are coming out of liberal arts programs and they can't get jobs. There's no sin in learning HVAC, nursing, electrical or plumbing trades. Those folks can make a LOT of money and many kids who graduate from 4-yr. schools end up taking low paying jobs outside their major. |
Anonymous
| The questions you don't know give you the perfect chance to teach them how to find the answer, whether it's on the internet, dictionary, or encyclopedia! Don't think of it in a negative way, show your children that people don't know everything, and that it's more important to know how to find answers than just being able to spew out data. |