How to convince spouse to try weight loss drugs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He needs to have a full physical so the doctor can show him the results and explain what they mean, which should scare the hell out of him. If that doesn't do it, don't know what will honestly.

Why do you assume OP is talking about a man? Seems to me OP was intentionally cagey about this….

What difference does it make? My advice works for men and women, does that make you feel better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Re: Weight, you need to back off. You've made your position clear. It's their body and their call.

If you're worried they're depressed, then WTF are you doing talking about weight loss?? Focus on the depression! Get them in therapy and do something active together (like walks, not to lose weight but because exercise is very effective in treating depression).

Do not focus on a depressed persons' WEIGHT that's a terrible idea.

Because their depression is tied to/resulting from their weight gain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him he looks like a blimp and you can no longer have sex with him because of how unattractive he's become.

Would you say that if spouse was a woman? BC I think OP is a man and the fat spouse is a woman.

100% woman. The statistical likelihood of "kid issues" having anything to do with a man binge eating is very low.

Doesn't matter. There is some good advice in this thread, some bad advice, and some pretty dumb observations too.

[Anonymous]

Vyvanse is an ADHD medicine approved for binge eating disorder

[Anonymous]

I don’t think there’s anything you can do.

Ozempic is working for me, but I was desperate to try it. And desperate to stick to my diet and exercise. Which I’m now doing, easily. But I wanted to.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with the PP that mentioned that you can still binge with semiglutides. I was on mounjaro for six months and the “food noise” in my head disappeared. I did not have any GI side effects. I just did not think about food or related my anxiety to food.
I’ve been off Mounjaro for two weeks and the food noise is coming back…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only your spouse can decide to make a change. You can't change their mind.

Fwiw, I think OP is male and talking about his wife. My advice is the same either way.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is obese, probably 100 lbs over a healthy weight. Has all the excuses for why they weigh this much - work stress, no time to exercise, kid stress, etc - but is a terrible eater. Binge eats every night after everyone else is asleep. I was more sympathetic before all these weight loss drugs were approved but now I feel like they are just ducking any responsibility. I get that it's no fun to inject these drugs every week but at this rate they'll have type 2 diabetes soon and will have to inject insulin anyway. They say their worried about the side effects and long term health outcomes from these drugs but I said the health effects of obesity aren't any better. What can I do to convince them to give these drugs a try?

You talk to her with love, care and tenderness. You tell her that she’s the sexiest, most amazing woman you know. And you tell her that your heart is breaking for her as you watch her struggle with feeling depressed and overwhelmed about herself. You can share that you’ve been doing research about semaglutides and understand her questions. That’s why you’re willing to

[Anonymous]

Sorry—hit submit accidentally.
You’re willing to go to the doctor with her to learn more. What about just trying them for a couple of months? No one is asking her to commit to a lifetime of them. Just try them and see what happens. Ask her what’s getting in the way of just trying. (Guess: what if she fails and can’t lose any weight? That’s a blow that would be crushing, and she’d probably rather not take a risk.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, every person I know for whom those drugs made a difference also made drastic changes to their lifestyle - exercise, healthy eating, etc. From what I understand, the drugs help you regulate your appetite, but you still have to do the work. The extra 100lbs did not come out of nowhere.

The medication makes the work far less laborious. Believe me, when I was in a depression treatment that worked, I couldn’t believe how easy ut was to lose 80 pounds. Yes, I had to give up lots of snacking, didn’t eat after 8, fasted 3x week…but all that feels Herculean when I am depressed. It’s literally torture to resist candy and sweeets. But when my brain was right, it was like…”man I’d really like to eat that ice cream but I know I’ll feel better if I don’t” and I can resist. Now, I walk past ice cream and it’s SCREAMING to me and it takes every last bit of mental energy to keep walking…and then after I walk away it’s ALL I can think about. So a huge % of my mental and emotional energy are spent on not giving in to intense, torturous cravings.

When my brain was right, food had a right-sized space in my head. Yes, I still had to do the actual work of changing my diet, of saying no to carbs and sweets and comfort foods, but it was infinitely easier. Tonight literally every waking moment I’m thinking about what I could be eating right now. With my head right, I’d just decide I wasn’t eating past 8 and that was that.

The newer medications seem to similarly put food in a right-sized space in a person’s brain. It’s not that they can eat ice cream all day if they take the meds. It’s that giving up ice cream is appropriately hard, not something akin to surviving a near death struggle on an hourly basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the PP that mentioned that you can still binge with semiglutides. I was on mounjaro for six months and the “food noise” in my head disappeared. I did not have any GI side effects. I just did not think about food or related my anxiety to food.
I’ve been off Mounjaro for two weeks and the food noise is coming back…

Why did you stop taking it?

I’m the PP above who posted about how my food noise changed when I was on a depression treatment that worked. I imagine that that experience is what it feels like for a non-obese person (without an eating disorder either) related to food. Like, year, diet and exercise are still work but you can just decide to do something and then do it. There isn’t a screaming voice in your head reminding you that brownies are just a few steps away at any moment. It takes 500 times more effort, literally. Someone who doesn’t have that food noise has NO idea how loud and debilitating it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, every person I know for whom those drugs made a difference also made drastic changes to their lifestyle - exercise, healthy eating, etc. From what I understand, the drugs help you regulate your appetite, but you still have to do the work. The extra 100lbs did not come out of nowhere.

No. I am taking ozempic for diabetes and I still eat like crap, but I’m only able to consume less crap. I have made zero changes, have zero side effects, and lost 20 pounds in 3 months. I plan to change my eating habits, but yeah, it takes time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, every person I know for whom those drugs made a difference also made drastic changes to their lifestyle - exercise, healthy eating, etc. From what I understand, the drugs help you regulate your appetite, but you still have to do the work. The extra 100lbs did not come out of nowhere.

No. I am taking ozempic for diabetes and I still eat like crap, but I’m only able to consume less crap. I have made zero changes, have zero side effects, and lost 20 pounds in 3 months. I plan to change my eating habits, but yeah, it takes time.

Be careful. People here are adamant that it is not possible that weight gain is because of poor eating choices. Its all something else.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you can convince another person to make any type of change. I've tried, and it does not work. They have to want to do it. This goes for man or woman; the spouse's gender is not relevant.

Are these drugs safe for use as weight loss? Has use for this purpose been studied or is long term safety and potential side effects unknown?

[Anonymous]

DP here.

I'm a woman trying to convince her DH (man) to try semiglutide, as well. He's classified as obese now. He's always been a bit heavy.

He says no because of the side effects. Not sure what he thinks those are. I know he doesn't want to take another pill. I'm, like, "okay, keep being obese and suffering those side effects."

I can't make him do anything. He can't magically lose weight when he's never been able to all these years. So, whatever. I don't want to hear it from him. If he can't do x, y, and z because of his weight, that's his problem.