Being more “in the moment” on vacation?
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Anonymous
| Next time, don't go to an all inclusive... why as a family of able-bodied young people would you travel if you're going to spend the whole time in one building? |
Anonymous
How do you manage this? NP but I struggle with this as well |
Anonymous
Did you notice that the OP said it is just her and her DH? No kids. That is why they chose an all-inclusive. |
Anonymous
It says right in her first sentence that they are going with the kids. |
Anonymous
Ah. I must have been seeing what I subconsciously am wishing for. I agree, then. |
Anonymous
| Don’t forget to leave your phone in your room. Just because you don’t have Wi-Fi doesn’t mean you won’t try the “I need to take pictures of the memories!” |
Anonymous
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In our family, I am the planner. I'm also an ENTJ, which means even my fun is planned. And, the rest of my family a) doesn't like everything planned and b) wants downtime.
I've taken to planning one thing per day while on vacation, and bringing/down loading many books. This way, if there's no plan for Tuesday morning, and other family members want to sleep in or play on their phones, my plan is to read my book. This works out better than no planning (how my spouse plans a vacation), or me planning every detail (which just makes my family unhappy with me!). |
Anonymous
What’s wrong with taking photos? Photography is one of my favorite parts of travel. But then, I’d also go nuts staying at one place for a whole week just kind of hanging out. OP, there is nothing wrong with planning some activities. That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the moment. |
Anonymous
| I think you will have an easier time relaxing than you think. At at all inclusive there is no fomo, nothing you need to see. It’s easy. I find my city sightseeing trips the least relaxing because there is so much to see and do, so it’s hard to be lazy/not planning. But at the beach? Should be easy! |
Anonymous
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OP you said you don't plan on leaving, so you shouldn't be thinking of the next thing. You're not leaving the property, so there is no next thing. Relaxing on the property is the whole thing.
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Anonymous
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Get a mindfulness app and start using it now. Literally teach yourself how to start smelling the flowers. Then once on vacation you’ll be ready to use what you learned.
When given the choice of doing something or not, do it. Get up early to see the sunrise at least one morning. Go out on the beach and let the kids wade in the water in the moonlight. Agree to play the game of spike ball with your kids even when lying in a beach chair reading your book sounds more immediately appealing, or go on that fishing trip even though you’re scared to touch a fish. Encourage everyone to try the oysters and laugh about it! I often don’t want to in the moment, but all our favorite family vacation memories are when we did something unexpected. And my kids love seeing me and DH outside our comfort zones! And bring something to play good music in your condo. It always brightens the mood. |
Anonymous
In general the first step was identifying that it was anxiety. That helped me a lot! In terms of a vacation, having some things planned out ahead of time helped but not too close together. Enough time in between activities, so I can relax. |
Anonymous
I have to say, this is my response, too. Being at a place whose whole job is to shield you from having to do anything or think about anything, or make any decisions, and having your phone taken away, sounds like torture! I would have a much easier time living in the moment if we were really busy and active. A hiking vacation or something like that. All that time to sit and stare at the water - argh! I feel stressed just thinking about it. Going diving really helps you stay in the moment - and even then, you can't help that your mind sometimes drifts. But that's probably a personality difference! Bring some good books and really immerse yourself in them, I guess. Page turners. And get real drunk, maybe? But yeah it seems like a LOT of pressure on a vacation - to go somewhere like this and then try to set rigid rules for yourself about how you have to feel while you're there. I can see wanting to make Every Minute Count if you feel like you just don't get the chance to travel enough, and this is your one big chance - but I think you might be setting yourself up for some negative feelings here! I know I was happiest as a traveler when I was getting to travel all the time - I was an expat with loads of vacation time - and so I got to approach trips from a place of abundance not scarcity. It's hard to bring that same feeling to life when you really are experiencing scarcity. But to the extent possible, I would try to cultivate that feeling - that this isn't your only opportunity to enjoy yourself with your family, but just one day of many where you get to do fun things together (or hang back and relax and watch some tv in the air conditioned room). Abundance, not scarcity. |
Anonymous
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I’d suggest taking some card games to play as a family, some good books or word search type of books to fill in the gaps when you need something to focus on. Also check out activities that the resort has and how much freedom you plan to give your children.
Breathe in and out. What helps you relax here at home? A morning walk, yoga, bath, cup of tea? Incorporate that in your trip. |
Anonymous
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OP I hear you. I would actually book a massage for early on in the trip and make sure you swim daily, exercise is the best decompressor.
My DH is like this, it takes a week for him to unwind fully and then he's there but normally that's when the trip ends. |