Group classes are not fun for smart kids

[Anonymous]

My kid took to the group class format pretty early, and yes, did somewhat "suffer" through classes where she was one of the only, or the only, kid who was paying attention, following instructions, or staying engaged with the teacher. But she still had fun in these classes. You have to find good teachers who know how to handle that dynamic. Often DD would be asked to help demonstrate things which made her feel important and gave her more skills to work on (as they say "see one, do one, teach one" is the key to learning).

She kept at it and got moved up early to the next level in her dance and gymnastics classes. Being among older kids was great for her because they had the capacity to listen and pay attention just like she did, but were often more physically advanced. This taught her patience and what it's like to have classmates who were better than she was. It advanced her learning.

I think if you pull your kid out for private lessons, you deprive them of these opportunities -- to demonstrate and teach others, and then also to learn from peers as they start to encounter more peers at a higher ability level. You risk them having no understanding of how their skills and abilities (and work ethic and focus) compare to peers. That knowledge matters a lot as you get to later elementary, if they decide to start competing in any capacity.

And no, it's not about intelligence. It's a host of factors and there will be plenty of kids who get that attention span and focus later but then exceed what your kid can do. You are overestimating based on developmental chance. Your kid is not the outlier you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s extremely obvious to me (and, like, everyone) in adulthood who never played team sports. You, OP, obviously did not. Give your kid a leg up.

NP. I played a lot of sports as a kid. It’s always been obvious to me who thinks sports is the be all and end all. It was, and is, usually the most obnoxious parents. Always felt sorry for those kids.

[Anonymous]

Wut do group lessons have to do with the price of being smart

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with smart kids. Yes, they are boring.

I really don’t understand why parents sign their kids up for these classes at ages 4-6. Maybe so they feel like they did something good for their child without having to actually spend time with the child.

The children would benefit so much more from more playground time or throwing/catching/kicking a ball with their parent. But that would cut into the parent’s phone scrolling.

Lolz

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These classes are about socialization as much as the activity. Your kid will not become a professional gymnast, whether they are in a group class or a private class.

I doubt most sane parents want their kids to become professional athletes, except in male sports where they earn hundreds of millions.

[Anonymous]

It's about learning social skills, including things like taking turns! And we wonder why so many are so impatient these days

[Anonymous]

You do more harm than good with this special treatment, op. They will be unprepared to deal with most of the realities of later life, and no amount of smarts will help them overcome that handicap you gave them.

I don’t actually think young kids necessarily need many e organized activities outside of school, but the major benefit of them is the socialization aspect, which you are removing, not some perceived future expertise which is very unlikely.

[Anonymous]

Professionally athletes (except endurance sports like marathon, *thlon) sit around a lot during performance, because they can't perform explosively for 2 hours straight.

But in practice they are working much more intensively for a long time, not sitting and watching each other.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your kid needs a different class. Or maybe they just need to learn patience.

My kid likes making friends in classes because, you know, he’s a *kid* not a pro athlete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s extremely obvious to me (and, like, everyone) in adulthood who never played team sports. You, OP, obviously did not. Give your kid a leg up.

NP. I played a lot of sports as a kid. It’s always been obvious to me who thinks sports is the be all and end all. It was, and is, usually the most obnoxious parents. Always felt sorry for those kids.

Ditto. And I played soccer and field hockey all four years in HS. Wasn’t a superstar but wasn’t bad either.

The parents who think classes at age 4-6 are teaching their kids to be patient and have social skills are just too lazy to model it in other ways. Again, cuts into their phone scrolling time.

[Anonymous]

If your kid doesn’t like group classes and hates talking to people, that has nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with being a social dud. Oops, guess you should have encouraged the development of some social skills along the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid took to the group class format pretty early, and yes, did somewhat "suffer" through classes where she was one of the only, or the only, kid who was paying attention, following instructions, or staying engaged with the teacher. But she still had fun in these classes. You have to find good teachers who know how to handle that dynamic. Often DD would be asked to help demonstrate things which made her feel important and gave her more skills to work on (as they say "see one, do one, teach one" is the key to learning).

She kept at it and got moved up early to the next level in her dance and gymnastics classes. Being among older kids was great for her because they had the capacity to listen and pay attention just like she did, but were often more physically advanced. This taught her patience and what it's like to have classmates who were better than she was. It advanced her learning.

I think if you pull your kid out for private lessons, you deprive them of these opportunities -- to demonstrate and teach others, and then also to learn from peers as they start to encounter more peers at a higher ability level. You risk them having no understanding of how their skills and abilities (and work ethic and focus) compare to peers. That knowledge matters a lot as you get to later elementary, if they decide to start competing in any capacity.

And no, it's not about intelligence. It's a host of factors and there will be plenty of kids who get that attention span and focus later but then exceed what your kid can do. You are overestimating based on developmental chance. Your kid is not the outlier you think.

What a great response! But to play devil's advocate, couldn't your DD have gotten into the next level (where the social/emotional benefits came in) faster with private classes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s extremely obvious to me (and, like, everyone) in adulthood who never played team sports. You, OP, obviously did not. Give your kid a leg up.

This.

[Anonymous]

Benefits of group classes that have served me well over the years:
- observing others and learning from criticism of others
- independent practice and drills

In private lessons, kids learn to expect to be the center of the activity and catered to and focused on. In group classes, if they’re good at the subject or want to become good, they learned to apply things they learn from observing to their own technique and to do self-directed drills/practice/conditioning while they wait. Private lessons are beneficial for personalized feedback, but especially as a beginner generalized feedback can be as or more helpful and the ability/dedication to practice independently is way more beneficial for advancement in my opinion.

If your kid is bored, task them with watching the other kids and trying to guess what the coach is going to correct and/or talk to the coach about conditioning or drills the kids can safely do without supervision while they wait.

And no, this potential for boredom has nothing to do with intelligence. It has to do with some combination of interest, talent, attention span, and level of social gelling in the group.