If your AC chose to elope …. Thoughts?

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[Post New]04/27/2023 08:30
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I actually love the idea that they would do it bc they believe it is a highly personal and private commitment they would be making between themselves. They would throw a party afterwards down the road to celebrate with friends and family.


Perfect.
[Post New]04/27/2023 08:31
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, you can elope, but your father and I will be attending. Give me a time and a place.


Nope. That’s not eloping. That’s a small destination wedding.


It is only one of those obnoxious destination weddings if you ask anyone other than your parents and siblings.

The obnoxious destination weddings should be banned. Take your honeymoon on your own time.

If the bride or the groom has actual roots (ie: have a real relationship with those who presently reside there) it is not a destination wedding.


If you don’t want to go to a destination wedding, don’t go. Life is too short to waste it on bitterness.
[Post New]04/27/2023 17:29
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Anonymous
DH and I eloped- so, would be fine with us!
[Post New]04/27/2023 17:36
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Yes, you can elope, but your father and I will be attending. Give me a time and a place.


I agree with you. I would be really sad if I didn't get to be at the wedding (even a courthouse ceremony is fine!!!). All the people I know that eloped were either on a 2nd+ marriage and nobody really cared, or have a lot of issues.
[Post New]04/27/2023 17:45
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I'd really like to be there. I don't care about anything else about the wedding but I'd be sad to not be there. I wouldn't get fried crispy about it though.


+1. If it is a good guy for my DC, that's the most important thing.
[Post New]04/27/2023 19:14
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I'd really like to be there. I don't care about anything else about the wedding but I'd be sad to not be there. I wouldn't get fried crispy about it though.



I loved that phrase too
NP
[Post New]04/29/2023 23:25
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Anonymous
My in laws fought over how many guests from each side would be at BIL’s wedding. It got so bad that they just eloped. Knowing this we also eloped. It’s sad they still are so proud that they didn’t get “cheated” by that wedding when in reality it means they’ve missed out on both their sons’ weddings. And they will probably never have DIL goodwill. Penny wise and pound foolish. Try to use money to control your kids and it will backfire. They are wealthy, but usually alone.
[Post New]04/30/2023 07:53
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Anonymous
We eloped, and I've strongly encouraged my kids whenever the topic of marriage came up to elope--should they decide to get married.

Weddings are just about the most trite, scripted, boring events.
[Post New]04/30/2023 08:12
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I actually love the idea that they would do it bc they believe it is a highly personal and private commitment they would be making between themselves. They would throw a party afterwards down the road to celebrate with friends and family.


Hell no. If you "elope" you are relinquishing the expectation that people will celebrate with you.
[Post New]05/01/2023 15:23
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Anonymous
It would have saved me $100k, so I'd be fine with that part. It was nice to be present for the wedding but if DD had wanted to elope that would be her choice.
[Post New]05/01/2023 16:48
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Anonymous
Forget the party afterwards. Big gift grab.
[Post New]05/02/2023 10:17
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I actually love the idea that they would do it bc they believe it is a highly personal and private commitment they would be making between themselves. They would throw a party afterwards down the road to celebrate with friends and family.


We did this and our parents weren't happy about it. But, ofc, they didn't want to pay for the giant extravaganza. So, they didn't get the choice. Some of them came to the small wedding, others didn't (but could have and so that is a sore spot for a parent to not come when they are young and financially able). But, whatever.

One set of the 4 INSISTED on throwing a party when we got back but just for their friends and family (mostly people we didn't know). So we did and they deducted that from their wedding gift to us. I wouldn't have done it but my DH insisted on indulging them. So we did.
[Post New]05/04/2023 13:24
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Anonymous
Main problem with eloping is that it misses the ritual of public commitment in front of your community, which can make it a less serious commitment.

Ofc if you don't have a community, then eloping acknowledges that reality as you start your married life.
[Post New]05/05/2023 13:40
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Main problem with eloping is that it misses the ritual of public commitment in front of your community, which can make it a less serious commitment.

Ofc if you don't have a community, then eloping acknowledges that reality as you start your married life.


oversimplification
[Post New]05/11/2023 06:59
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:We eloped, and I've strongly encouraged my kids whenever the topic of marriage came up to elope--should they decide to get married.

Weddings are just about the most trite, scripted, boring events.


Not the Indian ones.
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