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Fairfax County Public Schools (FCPS)
Fairfax County GT program and uptight parents.
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Anonymous
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We moved here in 4th grade so we missed the 2d grade testing craziness, thank goodness. I do think the application process and number cut-offs are deliberately but inappropriately obscure, so these parents, rather than being simply nosy or obnoxious, might just be trying to figure out what the criteria for acceptance are.
Since we have been here, no one has ever asked what my daughter's scores were, though one person was curious about what the application process was when coming from out of state. Most parents I know have been down to earth and pleasant to interact with. We do sometimes share concerns common to raising gifted kids, but that's different from what you describe. All in all, it's been a very nice experience for us. |
Anonymous
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I’ve been coming to this forum since I discovered it and my sincere appreciation to everyone that has given me great advice on GT program in Fairfax County. First time posting; OP, while I do understand where you are coming from, I do think you do care that your child is in GT program or you would not be here posting your story. Some of us had to put a great package or had our children professionally assessed to get their children into the program because we sincerely believed that they belong to challenges of GT program. My child tested very well on NNAT and CogAt, score range 93th - 98th % but due to very subjective GBRS score, did not get in first round and had to appear. Apparently, due to her slow processing speed and “perfectionist” is not the best combination for timed testing. Also, she is shy and teachers has tendency to think that all GT kids are very verbal while in my child’s case, she is an observer and her brain is always processing and absorbing. I had her professionally assessed and we were all blown away with her scores, score rages 98th to 99.99th %. Her best scores came from reading portion and visual spatial battery, she hit the ceiling on reading-she is bilingual and speaks, read and write both languages fluently. (accepted on appear) The main reason I appeared is not because of I have to have my child in GT program but for my child’s sake. She’s been worried about getting labeled as “nerd” all this year and it was clear that she was trying to “fit-in” with rest of the class rather than being herself, like she was almost embarrassed that she was smarter than other kids. Yes, I do realize that there are pushy parents out there but majority of us are just regular people, just looking out for what is best for our children. Perhaps, next time someone ask about your child’s score, maybe they do have sincere interest or perhaps they are just being nosy but let’s not forget that GT or not, our main goal is to raise healthy and very well rounded happy children.
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Anonymous
NP here, but OP, I think your original post comes across as sounding like you're "too cool" to even care what your child's scores were. You make it sound like you didn't even open the envelope the scores came in - since you claim you never even heard of the program until you were notified that she was in the pool. I personally think it's rude to ask someone what their child's scores were, but saying that people want you to "rattle off stats" is a bit of an exaggeration, don't you think? I don't know my kids' scores offhand, but I have a rough idea of their percentiles. I have a rising 5th grader & rising 3rd grader in the program (and our base school is a Center school) and no one has EVER asked me what my kids' scores were. A lot of parents DO care how their children scored and feel strongly about whether their kids should be in the program. It's fine for you if you don't, but it doesn't make those other parents uptight and intense. I guess if you want to, you can pat yourself on the back for not caring whether your child got in and not taking any steps to get involved in putting materials together for her application, but I'm not sure why you're faulting people who do those things. The testing is imperfect and there are some kids who don't make the screening pool but still belong in the Center. Those parents need to advocate for their kids. Unfortunately there is not as much transparency in the selection process as people would like, and parents seek out other sources of information, including asking questions of other parents. It really is curiosity and information-gathering, I don't think it's ill-intentioned nosiness. I don't claim no one is intense or competitive during this process. What I have found, fortunately, however, is that much (not all) of it ends after the selection process. The Center experience has been very cooperative and non-competitive for my child, and she is where she belongs, with her intellectual peers. |
Anonymous
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NP here.
I for one am glad to hear that there are plenty of parents who aren't "uptight" and that the experience isn't too competitive. I don't fault the OP. I've only been asked my child's scores one time, but I wouldn't have been that shocked if it happened more. I think it's helpful to realize that there are a wide variety of children in the program and it's likely that their parents are diverse. If the OP was asked what her child's scores were that many times, I can't blame her for being reactionary. I'm sure there are plenty of parents who didn't fill out the questionnaire. So I don't really think she's unique in that way either. If I didn't know one or two people who suggested that parents fill out the Questionnaire, I might not have. Not because "I'm cool" and not because I didn't care about whether my child was in the program. I do. I just felt like I'm a parent, not an expert in gifted behavior. I thought, "well, I think this is great, but what if it's not as great as I think." Does that make sense? |
Anonymous
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PP, I am one who didn't fill out the form either, but I didn't do it because I didn't know how to answer the questions. I struggled with what the 'right' answers were and finally just decided not to bother. I am sure that we were not the only parents to do it that way.
However, unlike the OP, I started getting a bit nervous as the notification date got closer that I had made a huge mistake by not doing it. I wasn't sure if they would notice that there was no parent form and assume that there was no parent involvement. Luckily it wasn't a problem and DC got in. If she hadn't, I would have felt pretty darn guilty, even though there could have been any number of reasons for it. OP, I was asked about scores too, but only by a parent who had a child that didn't get in. I guess she was interested in comparing her child to those who did get in. Her child did get in on an appeal. |
Anonymous
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Clearly, the proper action to ensure that your DC only associates with the best and brightest is to have the scores tattooed on each child. And, we will need to distinguish those that got in with the original screening, and those that got in on appeal.
Because (obviously) the appeal kids are not as gifted. (note tongue in cheek so hard it is coming out the other side). I will admit, I was curious as to other children's test scores -- not because I cared about them, but because I was trying to interpret my daughters results. (her scores were lower than I expected, but very balanced). |
Anonymous
LOL! You are my new favorite poster in this forum! |
Anonymous
| 9:38 here....Thanks... |
Anonymous
| OP, I have a son in Stratford's GT and a daughter coming into 3rd there next year, too. I would consider us on the normal side -- we care but aren't obsessive, would never ask someone else about their kid's test scores, and don't feel our kids' acceptances into the pool were somehow a measure of our "superior" parenting. We've been happy with the school and have met plenty of other relaxed parents there, too, though (frankly) the GT classes are pretty big and it's hard to get to know everyone's parents. I haven't had your experience but would be horrified if I did; not sure how I would respond! Anyway, welcome and I hope your experience is as good as ours has been |
Anonymous
| PP: one thing to do is to reply with a particularly embarrassing or personal question back. Such as, how much money do you make? Are those real? Or, how did you do no the SAT? |
Anonymous
| In my past life I was a teacher at mantua's GT center. The parents were definitely intense, but no more so than the base school parents in that neighborhood. |
Anonymous
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If my kid turns out to be GT (like DH and I were), I'll be one of the normal parents. I hope. She's only 2, though, so she still has a few years before we have to worry about that stuff.
It's funny, in senior year gym class one day, a guy I'd never met asked me what my class rank was. I was like, "um, hi? Do I know you?" Turns out he was trying to figure out who was top 10 and someone had told him that I probably was. (I was. #9.) To this day, he's one of my best friends from high school. But I honestly can't imagine asking what someone's child has scored on a test. My guess is the same people who asked you about your SAT scores in college are the ones who ask about kid's scores. You could lie, but it's probably easier just to go with it. |
Anonymous
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23:25 (or any parent or teacher) what is the difference between intense and involved. What questions or action/activities are deemed "appropriate" and "inappropriate"?
What does a parent do if a teacher gets defensive at the most benign questions (what subject does my child seem to like best?) I am quite intimidated by my DC's teachers.. How do I get past the defensive/offensive behaviour without too much stress? |
Anonymous
| sorry, meant to add - and ensure that teacher doesn't take it out on my child in terms of grades, discipline, etc. |