Why do so many kids hate school these days/don't want to go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with screens.

Also...too much testing. Not enough fun/creativity in the schools. I remember putting on plays or having a big dress up type educational project every quarter.

100% this. Too many standardized tests, way too much time doing boring computer work, even ES kids on laptops all day or just sitting around doing nothing. No joy in the classrooms in our FCPS. Just drudgery.

[Anonymous]

Hmm. I have kids in 3rd and 6th grades and both they and their friends like school. I don’t know too many kids who dislike it, tbh.

[Anonymous]

My kiddo felt that way in public. She was trying to hide her anxiety and dyslexia (before we knew they existed) from her teachers and peers. It was exhausting. Once we got her diagnosed, started tutors/treatment and pulled her out of FCPS she no longer hated school. Today she loves her small non-profit LD school, never complains about going and says how much she likes it. They don't have standardized testing in the lower grades, kids get all the accommodations needed, and there's no fighting for anything. I wish public was this way...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I have kids in 3rd and 6th grades and both they and their friends like school. I don’t know too many kids who dislike it, tbh.

Are you a SNs parent?

[Anonymous]

I mean, the number of posters on here defending why school is terrible and kids should hate it... tells you why kids hate school now and didn't used to. Kids probably would have hated school in ye olde days if their parents gave them license to talk about it. But it just wasn't an option. Now, parents complain non-stop about school (rightly so, imho) so no wonder that their kids share the same views. WHen i was a kid, no parent even thought to hate school. So neither did we.

A couple people above complained about school not being creative enough..... do you think it was MORE creative in the 1950s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, presumably because parents accept it? Like many girls, i had morning anxiety-induced stomach aches almost every school day from grades 3-6 as a kid. My mom knew; didn't care. And she was a pretty normal, nice loving mom.

I have multiple friends who, best i can tell from outward descriptions, have kids with similar anxiety in similar grades. The kids frequently stay home for mental health days - once or twice a month. Plus i notice that these kids seem to have a lot of "illnesses" that occur with more frequency and last longer than the rest of the family - also stay home for those.

I suspect when you open the door to periodically saying "you don't have to go to school today", that results in at least some kids realizing they hate school. Versus for me, when i didn't have the option, i never even thought of "hating school". It was just something you did.

I'm not sure the better answer; obviously lots of kids have terrible anxiety and other needs, and school is legitimately more torturous for them. But on the flip side, much of life sucks and when you let people off the hook for those things, no surprise they are less motivated to do those things.

The question is why does school induce anxiety?

The buildings are designed like prisons, the kids have high stakes, high stress testing, there are actual shooter drills. Shall I go on?

[Anonymous]

Parents just listen now. Trust me I hated school but my parents did not GAF!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents just listen now. Trust me I hated school but my parents did not GAF!!!!

This. Parents didn't let kids have mental health days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, the number of posters on here defending why school is terrible and kids should hate it... tells you why kids hate school now and didn't used to. Kids probably would have hated school in ye olde days if their parents gave them license to talk about it. But it just wasn't an option. Now, parents complain non-stop about school (rightly so, imho) so no wonder that their kids share the same views. WHen i was a kid, no parent even thought to hate school. So neither did we.

A couple people above complained about school not being creative enough..... do you think it was MORE creative in the 1950s?

I do think schools were more creative. I went to school in the 70s, not the 50s. But I remember writing plays and acting them out. I remember school assemblies with interesting presenters. I remember lots of playground time and being able just to hang out with my friends during recess.

I also remember being challenged by my teachers and them pushing me for more. I remember relationships with teachers and not wanting to disappoint them. There was tracking and everyone worked at the level that was appropriate for them. I didn’t have to teach my classmates material. There also were no behavior issues in the classroom. Lastly I remember being scared of being sent to the principals office because he wouldn’t call home and then I would be in real trouble.

As a society, we are much more tolerant of disrespect from children. We treat children as peers and they behave as entitled people. My teachers never had an issue controlling the classroom because the children in the class did not act out.

We’ve discussed this on other threads—the SN kids existed in the 70s but if they were constantly disruptive they were moved to a different environment. There was more time for teachers to explore topics that interested the class. They didn’t have to focus on making sure that everyone in the class could pass a standardized test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kiddo felt that way in public. She was trying to hide her anxiety and dyslexia (before we knew they existed) from her teachers and peers. It was exhausting. Once we got her diagnosed, started tutors/treatment and pulled her out of FCPS she no longer hated school. Today she loves her small non-profit LD school, never complains about going and says how much she likes it. They don't have standardized testing in the lower grades, kids get all the accommodations needed, and there's no fighting for anything. I wish public was this way...

What school!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My observation is that my kid dislikes school because so much of it is about controlling the students and avoiding behaviors deemed inconvenient (not even bad behavior, just inconvenient behavior). She likes learning and usually enjoys the academic aspects of school. But she does not like going to school because she spends so much of the day being told she must be quiet, still, and perform repetitive and rote behaviors that are not alway related to learning. A lot of the rules, I can't even justify, like being told they must not talk during lunch (I get it's more convenient for teachers and enables a shorter lunch, but it's like a rule you'd have in a prison), having recess taken away as a punishment (hello, counterproductive, have you met children?), or issuing class wide rewards and punishment in an effort to control the behavior of a minority of kids who likely need a different approach entirely.

I can't wait to get my kid out of this school.

What a laundry list of complaints. Sounds like homeschooling is right for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I have kids in 3rd and 6th grades and both they and their friends like school. I don’t know too many kids who dislike it, tbh.

So . . . you're on the SN forum -- do your kids have SN?

These kids you know who love school --do they have SN?

If not, take a seat.

[Anonymous]

- Screens
- Lack of good teachers
- Disruptive studentss
- Knowledge gaps. Most kids are not doing well and do not have necessary skills to understand what is being taught in school. How can you like school if that is the case?
- Bullying
- Anxiety about safety

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hated school, my kids hate school.

It’s not new. There are many reasons why.

I didn't hate school until I moved to Mississippi and had to relearn things I already knew= bored. I was extremely lucky to have a private school education because my dad was a teacher and coach at the school and then we moved. We had real PE plus recess plus art plus music plus science lab and computer lab. I never remember being bored. I remember being uninterested or wanting to be outside but never felt like I wanted to run and leave and never come back.

Middle school was okay. HS was the slog. Long periods, dull instruction, relearning the same stuff but one concept deeper/more/etc, lots of pressure. I was bored. I brought my own books to class. I stopped caring because I could pass without trying. I missed 30+ days of my senior year while taking multiple AP classes.

I do think there was a huge switch during my sophomore year because the school I was at in 10th grade had a detention if you were late for class. It was a huge school and your classes could be on opposite ends on different floors. If you needed to go to the bathroom, you could be late. The first time I was late they sent me to the detention room where I had to sit silently and read or do coursework or for most kids, it was being on their phones. It was an unexcused absence from class. Kids purposefully meandered through the hallways so they could go to detention versus class. Planned it with their friends. It was just so incredibly dumb and short-sighted.

As a kid, you know if your teachers want to be there or if they care or if they hate the administration or if the administration cares and it can ruin any natural proclivity to being invested in the school as a student. Also being punished for other kids' behaviors is another added bonus of our education system. Can only go to the bathroom 3x a year in one class because other kids use the bathrooms inappropriately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My observation is that my kid dislikes school because so much of it is about controlling the students and avoiding behaviors deemed inconvenient (not even bad behavior, just inconvenient behavior). She likes learning and usually enjoys the academic aspects of school. But she does not like going to school because she spends so much of the day being told she must be quiet, still, and perform repetitive and rote behaviors that are not alway related to learning. A lot of the rules, I can't even justify, like being told they must not talk during lunch (I get it's more convenient for teachers and enables a shorter lunch, but it's like a rule you'd have in a prison), having recess taken away as a punishment (hello, counterproductive, have you met children?), or issuing class wide rewards and punishment in an effort to control the behavior of a minority of kids who likely need a different approach entirely.

I can't wait to get my kid out of this school.

This is so true! My kid was scolded for flapping his hands (autistic) during Covid “because he might touch another student and get them sick”. He spent most of his energy trying not to drum at school…