Hangry child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For a 5.5yo, the parents need to manage it but also gently help them move towards regulating themselves. Because at some point, the kid needs to learn how to behave normally even when hungry. I am surprised a 13yo would still not be able to do this. At some point soon she will have to. Parents won’t be around forever to feed the kid. And even if the kid has a good breakfast routine, there are always unexpected disruptions. And you can’t yell at your professor or boss and then expect them to accept the “hangry” excuse.

The child is 5. He is far away from having a professor or boss, lady.

[Anonymous]

This is personality, not hunger.

Some people are just more affected my outside stressors.

Just like their are adults that can’t fully function when hot, cold, hungry, tired, wet, sore. But some can carry on see seemingly well despite being uncomfortable/stressed.

Kids are the same. Some are just more resilient than others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is personality, not hunger.

Some people are just more affected my outside stressors.

Just like their are adults that can’t fully function when hot, cold, hungry, tired, wet, sore. But some can carry on see seemingly well despite being uncomfortable/stressed.

Kids are the same. Some are just more resilient than others.

I don't think this is right. I was an absolute disaster during my 3 hour glucose test during pregnancy with both kids and it has nothing to do with being resilient. I was not stressed and was completely calm emotionally, but sobbed my eyes out for the entire last hour while trembling from head to toe. After the last blood draw, I ate a snack and was 100% fine again. It's totally different from holding it together emotionally while on a tough hike. It was a physical reaction, not an emotional one. Most people don't react like that, but my mom reports that she was the samee during her pregnancies.

I have a kid that gets super hangry, as does my whole family. The hardest part is that when she's hangry no food sounds good to her so she turns down all offers of food. We eventually force her to eat (usually by threatening consequences for her awful hangry behavior) and then she's fine again--it's like a switch flips. Usually it happens when we offer her a non-preferred food for breakfast or lunch and she chooses not to eat it. So then she's hungry/hangry, not because we didn't feed her, but because she chose not to eat (or eat enough). She's a picky eater so unless we're going to feed her a diet of milkshakes, jelly beans and Cheetos, it's a constant battle to keep her from refusing normal food and becoming hangry.

[Anonymous]

I get it, OP. My DS was like this. It was scary sometimes how absolutely opposite he would be. Like we literally worried he would throw himself into traffic just to be contrary. FWIW he is a lot better now at 10 yo and 1) doesn't get as absolutely insane when hungry and 2) can better verbalize when he's getting hungry and will get something to eat himself.

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing that if you and your dh can go hours without eating and feeling fine, you may not think your kid needs to eat as much as he probably does, so he's getting to the point of extreme hunger. I would examine the times of day he eats and make sure he eats every 3 hours, but make sure it has protein and healthy fats and fiber, not a handful of crackers or a few apple slices. I have friends who have forgotten to feed their kids because they're just not hungry, and it's just not fair to a kid who needs to eat more often than mom or dad. So don't blame the kid for their mood swing, be better about keeping him ahead of those blood sugar fluctuations that will cause the mood swings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing that if you and your dh can go hours without eating and feeling fine, you may not think your kid needs to eat as much as he probably does, so he's getting to the point of extreme hunger. I would examine the times of day he eats and make sure he eats every 3 hours, but make sure it has protein and healthy fats and fiber, not a handful of crackers or a few apple slices. I have friends who have forgotten to feed their kids because they're just not hungry, and it's just not fair to a kid who needs to eat more often than mom or dad. So don't blame the kid for their mood swing, be better about keeping him ahead of those blood sugar fluctuations that will cause the mood swings.

Or the child isn't good at recognizing their own hunger cues. My mother, sister and daughter are all like this. They become moody waaaay before they feel hungry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a 5.5yo, the parents need to manage it but also gently help them move towards regulating themselves. Because at some point, the kid needs to learn how to behave normally even when hungry. I am surprised a 13yo would still not be able to do this. At some point soon she will have to. Parents won’t be around forever to feed the kid. And even if the kid has a good breakfast routine, there are always unexpected disruptions. And you can’t yell at your professor or boss and then expect them to accept the “hangry” excuse.

The child is 5. He is far away from having a professor or boss, lady.

Yeah “lady” I was saying the 13yo is closer

[Anonymous]

Sometimes, when I get hungry, it does affect my thinking. I get physically week and wobbly, and trying to focus enough to process things mentally is exceedingly difficult. Basically, I’m like a pull-string doll winding down. There isn’t enough energy for anything to work right. Telling you he doesn’t remember 1+1 may be him acting out because he’s hangry, but it also may he that he’s a little confused and is actually having trouble remembering the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a 5.5yo, the parents need to manage it but also gently help them move towards regulating themselves. Because at some point, the kid needs to learn how to behave normally even when hungry. I am surprised a 13yo would still not be able to do this. At some point soon she will have to. Parents won’t be around forever to feed the kid. And even if the kid has a good breakfast routine, there are always unexpected disruptions. And you can’t yell at your professor or boss and then expect them to accept the “hangry” excuse.

The child is 5. He is far away from having a professor or boss, lady.

Yeah “lady” I was saying the 13yo is closer

That 13 year old needs to worry about that future professor and future boss pronto!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You never got hangry because your parents fed you before that could happen. You and your DH sound like people who don’t care about food - which is fine, but your son is not that way. Feed him and this won’t happen. Make a snack area he can go to on his own with filling snacks so he can eat when he is hungry, not hangry.

NP and my parents fed us a lot. You get hanger or you don’t. Two of us got it in my family. We are normal, functioning adults but we carry snacks all of the time. My parents still don’t get why we pack snacks when we go places with them and our teen kids because they aren’t little anymore. The snacks are for my sister and me. We are both in our 40s.

For those suggesting any type of behavior management or mood regulation, forget it. Just bring snacks. I don’t need someone to reason with me when I feel weak, nauseous, angry or mad. I just need a bite of something.

[Anonymous]

jsmith123 wrote:Hangry adult, here.

I think one important thing that you can do for your child is to help him make the connection between his mood and food.

I was in my 20s before a boyfriend of mine made the connection for me, and it was eye opening. I know that sounds crazy that I wouldn't have figured it out before then, but I guess I just wasn't that self aware.

If you teach him to identify when it's happening, and to address it, that'll go a long way.

This is very good advice. My DC is a very steady kid, until they get hangry. We talk about doing "body check ins" when they are feeling disregulated. They can recognize when they're feeling disregulated, and we're working on connecting the cause and effect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing that if you and your dh can go hours without eating and feeling fine, you may not think your kid needs to eat as much as he probably does, so he's getting to the point of extreme hunger. I would examine the times of day he eats and make sure he eats every 3 hours, but make sure it has protein and healthy fats and fiber, not a handful of crackers or a few apple slices. I have friends who have forgotten to feed their kids because they're just not hungry, and it's just not fair to a kid who needs to eat more often than mom or dad. So don't blame the kid for their mood swing, be better about keeping him ahead of those blood sugar fluctuations that will cause the mood swings.

+1

He's five. Never let him get hungry. Breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner. 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm. Or whatever, but standard times every day, full means with protein and fat. Don't wait to act until he's hungry! If you're going to be out at 4pm, you need to pack a substantive snack.

[Anonymous]

My now 14 yo has always been like this. I have a few on my side of the family but DH’s family is totally different, they go hours and hours without food. I would always pack a snack for DD just in case when visiting ILs since my MIL doesn’t get the hangry thing. She would literally say “dinner’s in 90 minutes, don’t eat anything now” and I would blatantly ignore her and give toddler DD a snack.
Now DD knows to always remember a snack when she’ll be out for a while.

[Anonymous]

For me it’s been lifelong. I’ve gotten very good at managing it. I know how full I have to feel after breakfast to not get hangry until lunch and lunch until dinner. I carry around fruit and nuts. In adulthood I have prevented hanger daily except for a few memorable occasions.

Those occasions are memorable, because they are awful. When I am hangry, I am almost delirious. It feels like a chemical floods my body very suddenly so that I’m ravenous. If I can’t eat, I have to lie down.

[Anonymous]

I was hangry as a kid and am hangry as an adult.

I can handle most stressors well: I can manage traffic, financial decisions, and medical issues without complaint. My job involves working with kids with learning and behavioral challenges, and I handle that fine--enjoy it even. But if you catch me when I am really hungry, I can be a mess. It's like an out-of-body experience where I can see myself being a miserable pain, but I feel powerless to stop my own behavior until I get some carbs and protein on board. It can cause me to have migraines and physical exhaustion. I'm not looking to stir the pot with loved ones; truly everything and anything feels irritating when hanger strikes.

Start carrying snacks with protein and carbs, like protein bars, cheese and nuts, apples and nut butter. Teach your kid about watching his appetite and speaking up early when he feels hungry. Schedule your activities so that you are not far from food. This isn't a behavioral problem. Some people are just far more sensitive to changes in blood sugar.