Daycare v Nanny Care

[Anonymous]

We hired a nanny when our second child was born and have not looked back. It is logistically easier, and especially for the first year, I’m grateful my baby naps at home. It’s also helpful that my oldest child can be with the nanny on days there is no school. The nanny is a great fit for our family!

Cons? Managing someone, payroll, potential for nanny who calls in sick often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The blog post that is the subject of this thread might interest you: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1120761.page (but beware the author makes the science seem a little more clear than it is, you should look at the individual studies cited in the post)

We have had our child in daycare since she was 5 months old. The biggest pro of daycare (assuming it is licensed) is that the state oversees daycares for basic safety and qualifications of the staff (not that they have amazing qualifications, just basic training and background checks). With a nanny you have to oversee all of that yourself. And the nanny will be in your home, so if you WFH that can be distracting. Also, there is a benefit to being around other children - our child was speech delayed when she was 1.5 yo, that also happed to be while she was at home due to the pandemic. When she started back up at daycare her speech exploded and her speech therapist told us that being around other kids can help with expressive language. Of course, it's possible she might have caught up anyway, but the therapist had obviously seen this happen before. Obviously, a nanny can also take a child to be with other kids.

The cons of daycare are it's a less relaxing environment for the child and they get less individual attention. Also, you have to pack up your child every day to take them to and from daycare. That process can easily add 20-30 minutes to your commute depending on how efficient the drop off process is.

We couldn't have afforded a nanny and it definitely wouldn't have worked for us with our WFH situation, but I definitely see the benefits.

A family daycare worked great for me. Kids are happy. Just because it didn't work for you it will be bad for others😂🤣

What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We hired a nanny when our second child was born and have not looked back. It is logistically easier, and especially for the first year, I’m grateful my baby naps at home. It’s also helpful that my oldest child can be with the nanny on days there is no school. The nanny is a great fit for our family!

Cons? Managing someone, payroll, potential for nanny who calls in sick often.

Nannies ask for a raise every year

[Anonymous]

They want a $1 raise per hour

[Anonymous]

At least. And treat hood to your nanny, give big bonuses if you want them to stay and you like them

[Anonymous]

This is a very fraught answer on DCUM and there used to be some troll nanny posters who made up fake stories about daycare (Jeff caught one of them years ago) so you can’t trust what you read entirely.

One thing I will say as a parent who agonized about childcare when my kids were young and had been a SAHM, your child will give you a sense of what is best. I had a good friend whose child never adjusted to daycare and life was better for all of them when they switched to a nanny. Meanwhile I started with a nanny and would come home to a toddler who was climbing the walls because his energy hadn’t been fully dissipated. And my nanny was good, and came highly recommended, but even she said “your kid has more energy than any other toddler I’ve cared for.” We switched him to a daycare with a focus on outdoor play and movement and he was much, much happier.

My kid is now a recruited college athlete with multiple team offers who still has more energy than most people. A quiet nanny who did mellow park visits and games at home was just never going to be a good personality match. My friend with the child who never adjusted? That kid is now going to college to study programming and is still a quiet homebody.

When your kids are young, these choices are hard, but trust your instincts. You can start with one direction and then go in another if it doesn’t work. It will be okay! There are both great daycares and great nannies and you will find your path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very fraught answer on DCUM and there used to be some troll nanny posters who made up fake stories about daycare (Jeff caught one of them years ago) so you can’t trust what you read entirely.

One thing I will say as a parent who agonized about childcare when my kids were young and had been a SAHM, your child will give you a sense of what is best. I had a good friend whose child never adjusted to daycare and life was better for all of them when they switched to a nanny. Meanwhile I started with a nanny and would come home to a toddler who was climbing the walls because his energy hadn’t been fully dissipated. And my nanny was good, and came highly recommended, but even she said “your kid has more energy than any other toddler I’ve cared for.” We switched him to a daycare with a focus on outdoor play and movement and he was much, much happier.

My kid is now a recruited college athlete with multiple team offers who still has more energy than most people. A quiet nanny who did mellow park visits and games at home was just never going to be a good personality match. My friend with the child who never adjusted? That kid is now going to college to study programming and is still a quiet homebody.

When your kids are young, these choices are hard, but trust your instincts. You can start with one direction and then go in another if it doesn’t work. It will be okay! There are both great daycares and great nannies and you will find your path.

Maybe that quiet kid needed mental health screenings with a professional. It's not his fault.

But I do know lots of shy and quiet successful people, thet are working for the government, federal reserve, some of them are bosses.
Most shy people or introverts puts a disguise and talks clear and loud at their jobs like my friend who works for the government. No better than a loud person who fakes short talk and just wants to be the attention .....re.

He's rich, has a nice house and backyard and is a gamer, likes anime.
There's many anime fans and gamers working in the government haha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a very fraught answer on DCUM and there used to be some troll nanny posters who made up fake stories about daycare (Jeff caught one of them years ago) so you can’t trust what you read entirely.

One thing I will say as a parent who agonized about childcare when my kids were young and had been a SAHM, your child will give you a sense of what is best. I had a good friend whose child never adjusted to daycare and life was better for all of them when they switched to a nanny. Meanwhile I started with a nanny and would come home to a toddler who was climbing the walls because his energy hadn’t been fully dissipated. And my nanny was good, and came highly recommended, but even she said “your kid has more energy than any other toddler I’ve cared for.” We switched him to a daycare with a focus on outdoor play and movement and he was much, much happier.

My kid is now a recruited college athlete with multiple team offers who still has more energy than most people. A quiet nanny who did mellow park visits and games at home was just never going to be a good personality match. My friend with the child who never adjusted? That kid is now going to college to study programming and is still a quiet homebody.

When your kids are young, these choices are hard, but trust your instincts. You can start with one direction and then go in another if it doesn’t work. It will be okay! There are both great daycares and great nannies and you will find your path.

But I do know lots of shy and quiet successful people, thet are working for the government, federal reserve, some of them are bosses.
Most shy people or introverts puts a disguise and talks clear and loud at their jobs like my friend who works for the government. No better than a loud person who fakes short talk and just wants to be the attention .....re.

He's rich, has a nice house and backyard and is a gamer, likes anime.
There's many anime fans and gamers working in the government haha

[Anonymous]

Oh and quiet people I know are successful Programmers working for the government. I wish some people would stop stereotyping shy or introverts. If they have to they will speak up for thier jobs meetings but then they need to recharge at home. The government loves hiring them

[Anonymous]

There's smart people both sides. What matters is that you show empathy towards everybody regardless status, financial, etc

[Anonymous]

The biggest downside of daycare is the constant onslaught of illness. I've never been so sick in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The biggest downside of daycare is the constant onslaught of illness. I've never been so sick in my life.

Yeah but it's unfortunately inevitable.

At least all the stringent COVID policies are done now. That was the toughest part of daycare immunity bootcamp for us--it happened in the days when a sniffle triggered 14-day quarantines.

If you don't get the sickness onslaught at daycare it'll start at kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

My 6 month old was very bad at napping at daycare. I don't see how any baby can nap that well if other babies are constantly waking/crying and there's generally a lot of noise because everyone's on their own schedule. To me that was a big deterrent against sending my 2nd to daycare that young. I felt terrible that he was getting way less sleep than he otherwise at home. Maybe wait a bit if you can until your baby is old enough so that everyone's on the same schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 6 month old was very bad at napping at daycare. I don't see how any baby can nap that well if other babies are constantly waking/crying and there's generally a lot of noise because everyone's on their own schedule. To me that was a big deterrent against sending my 2nd to daycare that young. I felt terrible that he was getting way less sleep than he otherwise at home. Maybe wait a bit if you can until your baby is old enough so that everyone's on the same schedule.

Babies gets used to the sounds. Most Family Daycares has a separate room. The babies, the earlier you sent them they adapt quickly and sleep together. I saw a Daycare in Arlington, Virginia, there's was 9 BABIES IN THE SAME ROOM all sleeping together, while the other 4 who were 15 months were sleeping in blue cots.

[Anonymous]

Most babies adapt quicker to Family Daycare when they are 3 months