"What can I bring?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always bring some type of hostess gift when I am invited to a friend's house. But I do have to admit in general, I dislike potlucks and don't like when people ask me to bring something really specific. I also never expect or ask a guest to bring something when I am hosting.

Then you would love gatherings with my IL's as much as I do Not only is every holiday or get-together potluck (except when I host), everyone brings a tupperware container to take an assortment of leftovers home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always bring some type of hostess gift when I am invited to a friend's house. But I do have to admit in general, I dislike potlucks and don't like when people ask me to bring something really specific. I also never expect or ask a guest to bring something when I am hosting.

Then you would love gatherings with my IL's as much as I do Not only is every holiday or get-together potluck (except when I host), everyone brings a tupperware container to take an assortment of leftovers home.

OMG.

Why aren't your events potluck, if that's the standard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always bring some type of hostess gift when I am invited to a friend's house. But I do have to admit in general, I dislike potlucks and don't like when people ask me to bring something really specific. I also never expect or ask a guest to bring something when I am hosting.

Then you would love gatherings with my IL's as much as I do Not only is every holiday or get-together potluck (except when I host), everyone brings a tupperware container to take an assortment of leftovers home.

I would hate that! I've had some friends host meals and then they ask me to bring a really specific item and it is not something that I always know how to cook and I'm left scrambling to find a store to pick it up in. I personally think it is rude to do this other than if you have a standing date with a group of people where everyone brings a dish (monthly book club, supper club, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always bring some type of hostess gift when I am invited to a friend's house. But I do have to admit in general, I dislike potlucks and don't like when people ask me to bring something really specific. I also never expect or ask a guest to bring something when I am hosting.

Then you would love gatherings with my IL's as much as I do Not only is every holiday or get-together potluck (except when I host), everyone brings a tupperware container to take an assortment of leftovers home.

OMG.

Why aren't your events potluck, if that's the standard?

Because I'm a foodie and enjoy cooking and entertaining and planning a menu. Dh's family thinks cooking is a chore, thus the potluck standard. On Father's Day, for example, we went to IL's house. One aunt brought slaw from a store, another aunt brought canned baked beans, MIL had a container of fruit salad. BIL grilled chicken (he's not a dad yet, so he's in charge). I made a strawberry rhubarb crisp and homemade guac. Guess which of the dishes were leftover and which disappeared.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always bring some type of hostess gift when I am invited to a friend's house. But I do have to admit in general, I dislike potlucks and don't like when people ask me to bring something really specific. I also never expect or ask a guest to bring something when I am hosting.

Then you would love gatherings with my IL's as much as I do Not only is every holiday or get-together potluck (except when I host), everyone brings a tupperware container to take an assortment of leftovers home.

OMG.

Why aren't your events potluck, if that's the standard?

Because I'm a foodie and enjoy cooking and entertaining and planning a menu. Dh's family thinks cooking is a chore, thus the potluck standard. On Father's Day, for example, we went to IL's house. One aunt brought slaw from a store, another aunt brought canned baked beans, MIL had a container of fruit salad. BIL grilled chicken (he's not a dad yet, so he's in charge). I made a strawberry rhubarb crisp and homemade guac. Guess which of the dishes were leftover and which disappeared.....

So you prioritize food differently than your ILs. BFD.
I happen to fall into your camp but that does not mean it is more "right". It is what it is. Quit your bitching and either host a potluck -if you're feeling like it is unfair- or continue making fabulous meals that people love and want to take home. They appreciate your cooking obviously. That should be enough for a self-proclaimed "foodie."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I hate this! I'd take the hostess gift. Sometimes, like when I'm throwing a brunch and someone brings buffulo chiken dip in an old dish from the 70's...it kind of goes against the theme or mars my pretty table. Its really nice of them, but if I say nothing thanks, that's what I mean.

You have friends that actually want to come over? I can just imagine the great themes you come up with because you seem like a ball of fun

Are you kidding?!? I'm betting she's the bible/dildo/gun poster, and she's working some hyper-raunch theme with black-lights and dog collars. "Mars my pretty table" is just a G-rated euphemism for what she really wants ... if you know what I mean.

Anyone bringing buffalo chicken dip in a 70s dish would totally blow it.

[Anonymous]

I would never ask someone to bring something they had to make, but that is just me. I always feel like the host should take on the responsibility. If they mind the work that much, don't host.

I would say beer or wine or desert, if anything. You can always send the extra deserts home with people.

I can not imagine bringing home other leftovers, least of all from my MIL'S -

[Anonymous]

I'm the "theme" poster. I guess theme is a bad choice of words. By theme I meant, brunch, or BBQ, or I have a specific menu planned like Mediterranean. Haven't you ever planned an entire menu? Sometimes certain foods don't fit. If you are throwing a bridal shower brunch and make a pretty buffet table, the buffalo dip is going to stand out. As would say, pigs in a blanket. No tablescapes... but I do care how things look if I'm hosting something like that! Now if I'm hosting something casual like a BBQ and someone brings salmon pinwheels, I'm not going to stress about it but I will hope that nobody thinks I made them to go with the pulled pork.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the "theme" poster ... throwing a bridal shower brunch ... with the pulled pork.

Oh you sly minx ... now you're just being naughty.

[Anonymous]

People will bring something. If you dont' give them guidance, they will spend their money on something you don't want (witness: theme party hostess.)

I tell people what I'd honestly like that goes with the meal and involves no preparation. Once I was making Moroccan dishes. I told my guests, "I'd love a bottle of white wine." This Friday I asked guests to bring a loaf of bread. Sometimes I ask for ice cream (especially if I've made a pie, I'll say something like "I'm making a pecan pie. Could you find an icecream we coulld serve with that?"); sometimes for a beverage (once we had kids over and I said "I'd love more fruit juice or something the kids could drink").

Bottom line: It's rude to show up empty handed so you have to think of something your guests can bring--otherwise you're going to get something you didn't want.

[Anonymous]

I never expect anyone to bring anything when I host. If they ask what to bring I usually tell them generally the menu I have planned and explain they are not expected to contribute but if there is a special dish they like to make and share they may do so. I also tell them I don't serve alcohol so if they want something other than soda/water/punch they need to supply it themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always bring some type of hostess gift when I am invited to a friend's house. But I do have to admit in general, I dislike potlucks and don't like when people ask me to bring something really specific. I also never expect or ask a guest to bring something when I am hosting.

I totally agree with this pp!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never expect anyone to bring anything when I host. If they ask what to bring I usually tell them generally the menu I have planned and explain they are not expected to contribute but if there is a special dish they like to make and share they may do so. I also tell them I don't serve alcohol so if they want something other than soda/water/punch they need to supply it themselves.

Agreed. I don't think I've ever asked a guest to bring anything more complicated than a green salad. Drinks, ice, maybe rolls. I might ask a good friend to pick up some random item I forgot - lemons for drinks or something.

[Anonymous]

I've brought salad before, but really, its a lot of prep and ingredients. I think it is the worst thing for a host/ess to mention, since everyone has different "salad" tastes, and you can't please everyone. If the host/ess makes it, somehow it seems more acceptable.

I would mention/ask for/bring something with no prep - wine, bread, something really simple (not cheap, just simple).

And really, do you need another set of soaps?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I've brought salad before, but really, its a lot of prep and ingredients. I think it is the worst thing for a host/ess to mention, since everyone has different "salad" tastes, and you can't please everyone. If the host/ess makes it, somehow it seems more acceptable.

I would mention/ask for/bring something with no prep - wine, bread, something really simple (not cheap, just simple).

And really, do you need another set of soaps?

Doesn't have to be. But put it this way - I know my friends/family. I wouldn't ask someone who couldn't do it easily. I have an aunt who loves to make this vinaigrette recipe, so I'd ask her for that. My cousin makes the most wonderful green salads. My sister's the type who'd have to call me from the store if I asked her to buy rolls.