Interfaith friendships

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha, I've sometimes wondered about "interfaith" relationships as an atheist.

I have some friends who are religious and incredibly lovely people, but as a lifelong atheist (both parents were atheists) I can't help viewing religion as irrational. If something very bad happened to me or to my spouse or child and a religious friend said something like "this is all part of God's plan," that would certainly be the end of that friendship.

Either you're a troll, or as bad as OP.

I don't know, I'm a Christian and think "this is all part of God's plan" is a horrible and not even slightly comforting thing to say. I would definitely consider it offensive to say to an atheist or to someone whose religious doesn't have a single omnipotent god and given the diversity of interpretations of God even in monotheistic religions I don't think it's a good thing to say to anyone unless you belong to the same church and know their personality well enough to be absolutely sure they will find it comforting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you do to establish and maintain good relationships with your non-Christian friends and neighbors? How can you build good interfaith relations?

As a non-Christian, I maintain good relationships with my non-Christian friends and neighbors that same way I do with my Christian friends and neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you do to establish and maintain good relationships with your non-Christian friends and neighbors? How can you build good interfaith relations?

As a non-Christian, I maintain good relationships with my non-Christian friends and neighbors that same way I do with my Christian friends and neighbors.

Me too. In fact, I usually do not even know their religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you do to establish and maintain good relationships with your non-Christian friends and neighbors? How can you build good interfaith relations?

Same thing that you do to establish and maintain good relationships with your Christian friends and neighbors??? Why would the same method will not work for you?

[Anonymous]

I'm Catholic. I generally find more common ground with my observant Jewish and Muslim friends than with acquaintances who are atheist. My kids are the same. So for me it's not a matter of whether a relationship is inter-faith but more whether someone has faith vs not. I don't have any close friends who are atheist but I'm polite and kind to everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Catholic. I generally find more common ground with my observant Jewish and Muslim friends than with acquaintances who are atheist. My kids are the same. So for me it's not a matter of whether a relationship is inter-faith but more whether someone has faith vs not. I don't have any close friends who are atheist but I'm polite and kind to everyone.

That's terrible. How would you even know if someone is atheist? In your mind, does atheist mean "nasty militant person who derides the faith of others"? Do you only wish to associate with people who practice their religion? Are you OK with people who are culturally aware of their country's (or community's) religion, and who participate a little because that's how they grew up, without actually thinking very much about their spirituality?

My point is that there is a spectrum of behaviors, and most people you meet are probably participants due to family habit rather than being observant through personal conviction. Someone who does not participate at all could have grown up in a non-participating family, and not have any particular convictions either. My husband is an atheist, comes from a Vietnamese Buddhist family, and NEVER talks about religion. He is perfectly happy married to me, a "cultural" Catholic who comes from a Catholic family. No one in my family is disturbed about his personal convictions, since he does not impose them on others, even his children.

So your stance really does not make sense. And if you had probing conversations about what each individual believes, you'd be surprised.

[Anonymous]

As an atheist, I can tell you how I would like my Christian friends to behave towards me. Those that don't follow these rules, find they have difficulty maintaining friendships outside of their religion.

1. Don't try to convert me.
2. Don't actively or passively judge me for my non-belief. I already know you think I'm going to hell. It doesn't need to be stated even once
3. Don't tell me you will pray for me. That comforts you, not me.
4. Don't actively or passively judge an entire group of people for not sharing your faith in front of me. Keep that talk to your church friends.

There are probably others, but these are what I could think of off the top of my head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an atheist, I can tell you how I would like my Christian friends to behave towards me. Those that don't follow these rules, find they have difficulty maintaining friendships outside of their religion.

1. Don't try to convert me.
2. Don't actively or passively judge me for my non-belief. I already know you think I'm going to hell. It doesn't need to be stated even once
3. Don't tell me you will pray for me. That comforts you, not me.
4. Don't actively or passively judge an entire group of people for not sharing your faith in front of me. Keep that talk to your church friends.

There are probably others, but these are what I could think of off the top of my head.

As a person of faith, these are identical to what I would like from atheists (except for the praying part, also, most Jews and Christians and others don’t think you’re going to hell). Sadly, that’s not how atheists behave in this forum, especially #1 and #4. Do unto others, the golden rule, and all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Catholic. I generally find more common ground with my observant Jewish and Muslim friends than with acquaintances who are atheist. My kids are the same. So for me it's not a matter of whether a relationship is inter-faith but more whether someone has faith vs not. I don't have any close friends who are atheist but I'm polite and kind to everyone.

That's terrible. How would you even know if someone is atheist? In your mind, does atheist mean "nasty militant person who derides the faith of others"? Do you only wish to associate with people who practice their religion? Are you OK with people who are culturally aware of their country's (or community's) religion, and who participate a little because that's how they grew up, without actually thinking very much about their spirituality?

My point is that there is a spectrum of behaviors, and most people you meet are probably participants due to family habit rather than being observant through personal conviction. Someone who does not participate at all could have grown up in a non-participating family, and not have any particular convictions either. My husband is an atheist, comes from a Vietnamese Buddhist family, and NEVER talks about religion. He is perfectly happy married to me, a "cultural" Catholic who comes from a Catholic family. No one in my family is disturbed about his personal convictions, since he does not impose them on others, even his children.

So your stance really does not make sense. And if you had probing conversations about what each individual believes, you'd be surprised.

It's not a stance or something I've actively made a choice to do or not do. Pretty sure I'm entitled to form close friendships with the people I click with and have the most in common with. For me, at this point in my life, that's been with people who actively practice their faith. That's all I was saying. If you choose to take offense to it, that's your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha, I've sometimes wondered about "interfaith" relationships as an atheist.

I have some friends who are religious and incredibly lovely people, but as a lifelong atheist (both parents were atheists) I can't help viewing religion as irrational. If something very bad happened to me or to my spouse or child and a religious friend said something like "this is all part of God's plan," that would certainly be the end of that friendship.

Either you're a troll, or as bad as OP.

I don't know, I'm a Christian and think "this is all part of God's plan" is a horrible and not even slightly comforting thing to say. I would definitely consider it offensive to say to an atheist or to someone whose religious doesn't have a single omnipotent god and given the diversity of interpretations of God even in monotheistic religions I don't think it's a good thing to say to anyone unless you belong to the same church and know their personality well enough to be absolutely sure they will find it comforting.

Would it be more comforting to hear that you live in a predetermined, mechanistic universe, and that free will doesn't exist?

[Anonymous]

Shouldn't a friendship be able to handle any of these exchanges?

S: I believe vaccines cause autism
Q: What is your evidence for that belief?

S: I believe Joe Biden is a better candidate for president than Donald Trump
Q: What are your reasons for that opinion?

S: I believe the Christian god exists
Q: What is your evidence for that belief?

Not saying there isn't disagreement, just that if a friendship can't handle exchanges of differing ideas, then it might not be much of a friendship.

And yes, I am atheist and like most atheists the majority of my friends are believers and it is never a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha, I've sometimes wondered about "interfaith" relationships as an atheist.

I have some friends who are religious and incredibly lovely people, but as a lifelong atheist (both parents were atheists) I can't help viewing religion as irrational. If something very bad happened to me or to my spouse or child and a religious friend said something like "this is all part of God's plan," that would certainly be the end of that friendship.

Either you're a troll, or as bad as OP.

I don't know, I'm a Christian and think "this is all part of God's plan" is a horrible and not even slightly comforting thing to say. I would definitely consider it offensive to say to an atheist or to someone whose religious doesn't have a single omnipotent god and given the diversity of interpretations of God even in monotheistic religions I don't think it's a good thing to say to anyone unless you belong to the same church and know their personality well enough to be absolutely sure they will find it comforting.

Would it be more comforting to hear that you live in a predetermined, mechanistic universe, and that free will doesn't exist?

...I don't see the options as being "this is all part of God's plan" and "you live in a predetermined, mechanistic universe, and that free will doesn't exist." (Are these even opposites or different?) I think the appropriate thing to say to someone going through a difficult time are things like: "That sounds terrible" and "I'm so sorry that's happening to you" and "How can I help?" and "Do you want me to do [X helpful thing]?"

[Anonymous]

I don’t even know the religion of many casual friends. Also, some pretty close friends. Topic has literally never come up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m Jewish and I have many Christian friends. As long as they are not trying to convert me we have no problem maintaining friendships.

I am Jewish and most of my close friends are also Jewish. I grew up in a small community and most of my childhood friends are atheists now. But in graduate school and as a parent of a young kid, most of my close friends are other Jewish women. I have cultivated some friendships with African-American women who are not Jewish who are former colleagues and I invest in those relationships because 1) I like them; and 2) I live in DC and want to have diverse friends group. They are all religious Christians, but politically liberal. We don't talk a lot about religion - and I try to have grace (and they do the same) when something comes up (e.g., don't you feel bad that your kid isn't celebrating Christmas - nope or asking them about whether there is an expectation that Black women submit to their husbands - and them explaining it's a stereotype and pointing out that there are lots of married female ministers). But there is a comfort level with other Jewish women that I don't find as often with non-Jewish friends.

[Anonymous]

I am Catholic and find that I can be ok friends with people of any religious belief as long as we have something in common. But my closest friends all believe in some religion. Faith is such an important component of life and not being able to share this with someone really limits how deep the friendship can go.