Anyone grow up with a parent who suffered from depression?

[Anonymous]

Both of my parents had untreated anxiety/depression for most of my childhood. I never doubted they loved me, but they were trying to tough it out and overcome depression with sheer willpower instead of real treatment. It resulted in me having an anxiety/panic disorder and a pretty abusive first serious relationship because I had no role models for a healthy relationship.

I do have kids now and my anxiety is treated through meds and coping techniques learned through years of therapy. I did have issues with PPD/PPA. But I had a care plan and still have a connection with a doctor and therapist if I do get breakthrough symptoms.

My advice is that you owe it to your children to be the best version of yourself you can be. This means you have to swallow your pride and get appropriate treatment and get yourself stabilized before trying to have a baby. And no one is perfect, the ups and downs of life will make symptoms come and go. The important thing is to recognize the signs and have a care plan so that you don't spiral out of control.

[Anonymous]

How it impacts your kids will depend a lot on how it manifests. Growing up, my mom's anxiety and depeession caused her to snap at the smallest things. Life was a lot of walking around on eggshells. How that impacted me mostly is that I have a hard time knowing what "normal" reactions are to things. I've gotten a lot better with therapy and age, but I was too much of a people pleaser and doormat for the longest time. I had a hard time speaking up because I always anticipated the other person overreacting even though it was rarely the case.

She also did a lot of victim playing and guilting us and that has continued through adulthood, though I handle it better now.

My therapist agrees though that her mental health issues were beyond just depression.