When your kid doesn't want to go to private

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:7th/8th is a really tough age to ask a kid to start at a brand new school and make friends. If he is doing well socially where he is, the best you could hope for is that he'd do similarly at the new school, and worst case scenario is that it goes really badly. I don't think I'd make that change now.

I might move at high school, assuming its a transition year for both public and private. It's less likely to be an issue socially then.

From another perspective, moving from public to private can be a big adjustment academically depending on the schools. Much more work, higher expectations, etc. moving in 8th allows a year of transition before HS when grades count.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends what kind of students they are-- if excellent-- go private. If not, save your $ + go public..

I agree with this. We have 2 kids in private and one that graduated from public. The 2 in private are gifted/high achieving and the other has learning disabilities, so they both went for different reasons. The public school kid was a good (A/B) student but not in the top of the class. Kid #2 (private) is getting in to a lot better colleges than kid #1 did (public).

My kids switched in 6th and 10th grade. Both were excited to go so I can't answer your question specifically but that was our experience.

[Anonymous]

As someone who went to private (elsewhere, not DC) I wish my parents had transferred me to public in high school. More extra curriculars, more kids like me (middle class), more STEM opportunities. Public was also closer to my house, and I ended up not being able to do hardly any ECs in private because I had no way to get a long ride home. My parents also found out the hard way that the in state public colleges favored public school students, and private colleges favored private school students. I always regretted staying in private for high school even now, as a middle aged adult.

The exceptions would be kids who desperately want to play sports and are outcompeted in public schools, or who have a tendency to follow the bad / misbehaving crowd and need to be away from them. Or, can't pay attention unless they have a smaller environment.

Private school is more expensive, but not always better. You are not always missing something.

[Anonymous]

Also, see how many kids transfer into the private you are considering every year. In my particular private, new boys were welcome both by the girls and potential sports teams,.while girls had a much harder time.

[Anonymous]

I moved to a private school from public when we moved cities when I was in 7th grade. It was the absolute most miserable time socially to change, and I remember it as the toughest time I had in childhood and adolescence. I didn’t have a choice in the matter, and wouldn’t have picked the public school there over the private one, but my God, if you don’t HAVE to move your happy middle schooler, why on earth would you…being happy in middle school is like having a unicorn live in your yard. High school when everyone starts a new environment — and everyone’s a little older — totally different ball game.

[Anonymous]

If I genuinely thought it was a better education and I felt my kids are socially skilled enough to make new friends, I’d make them go and tell them I’m willing to reconsider in a year if they hate it. 7th grade isn’t old enough to be able to consider the bigger picture.

[Anonymous]

We moved our kids to private post covid. Our MS kid told us in a fit of rage last year they'd never regretted a change more. The 7th grade year SUCKED. This year has been marginally better.

I'm a pull yourself up by your bootstraps kind of parent and really, unfortunately, underestimated the challenge of creating a new friend group in MS. A time when it is developmentally appropriate for kids to start weighing their peers above their parents. So much so that the academic performance we'd thought we were improving suffered as a result.

[Anonymous]

My kid told some of his friends he was moving to private next year and there is one kid that keeps trying to persuade him not to go. Jealousy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends what kind of students they are-- if excellent-- go private. If not, save your $ + go public..

That's some really bad advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid told some of his friends he was moving to private next year and there is one kid that keeps trying to persuade him not to go. Jealousy.

Why so cynical? Maybe your kid's friend doesn't want to lose his friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends what kind of students they are-- if excellent-- go private. If not, save your $ + go public..

I agree with this. We have 2 kids in private and one that graduated from public. The 2 in private are gifted/high achieving and the other has learning disabilities, so they both went for different reasons. The public school kid was a good (A/B) student but not in the top of the class. Kid #2 (private) is getting in to a lot better colleges than kid #1 did (public).

My kids switched in 6th and 10th grade. Both were excited to go so I can't answer your question specifically but that was our experience.

How are you defining "a lot better colleges"? And do you disagree that a particular college might be better for one and not for another? There's a real lack of critical thinking on this board- I hope your kids learn this better than their parents, wherever they go to school.