Who has final say on holding a student back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP—when is your child’s birthday? And what is his physical size?

I’m a public elementary school principal and have only ever held back a student once. Physical size (small), September birthday, and both academic and social struggles were all significant factors in the decision.

Size should NEVER be a reason to hold back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a parent of older children in private - I would go with the recommendations of the teachers. Why do you not trust their professional opinions?

Because her child is perfect and has an IQ higher than all the teachers in the school.

[Anonymous]

What grade is your child currently in? If it is K, I would consider the advice of the school. There is a leap between K and 1st in terms of expectations for sitting still, and focusing on work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does child do at home? If they only behave like that at school, its a bad school fit.

Not necessarily. Expectations at school and the group setting are different than what a child experience at home. It could be anxiety, ADHD, or a learning difference that make being in the classroom difficult which could lead to poor behavior or the inability to meet behavior expectations. It may also show up at home, but it may not. Conversely sometimes kids behave perfectly at school and then come home and fall apart. Fit certainly could be an issue, but it also might not be. Having the child evaluated by a professional to figure out what is going on is far more likely to work than just changing schools. The evaluation may show that a different school would be a better fit, but finding that right-fit school armed with information about what the child needs is going to lead to a more successful transition than just moving to the school down the road and assuming the problem will then go away.

If a child isn't struggling at home and struggling at school, yes, there can be academic and other issues but its a huge red flag tho its not a good school fit.

I can tell you from experience many people were wrong about my child. I heard all kinds of things when they were younger (not behavior but developmental delays) and years later I am so glad I didn't listen to them but every situation is different and I had more experience than many in the area of concerns.

If a child is acting out that much in school it's a bad school fit and school isn't handling it well. Why would you pay that kind of money for a bad school fit?

We've had our share of teachers say all kinds of things about our child that made zero sense. Teachers are not trained on SN or developmental delays or even behavioral issues so they are making educated guesses based off their experience or lack there of.

Your last paragraph is why I can’t wait to quit teaching. I AM trained in SN and I have over 20 years of experience with developmental delays. The fact you are so willing to dismiss what appears to be MULTIPLE opinions because they somehow know less than you is so insulting. Teachers are professionals. Why can’t we be treated as such?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What grade is your child currently in? If it is K, I would consider the advice of the school. There is a leap between K and 1st in terms of expectations for sitting still, and focusing on work.

Yes, this is K. We are going to look into things further, but the above is my biggest concern--how much greater the expectation will be by next school year. I'm also beginning to think my own expectations are pretty unrealistic. Expecting there to be a substantial amount of growth/maturation between now and start of school year?

He is not a golden child at home. I feel pretty typical for his age, but far from where I thought he could cause that much of a disturbance in class.

[Anonymous]

Is child within the typical redshirting birthday range? Redshirting has been discussed on here many times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP—when is your child’s birthday? And what is his physical size?

I’m a public elementary school principal and have only ever held back a student once. Physical size (small), September birthday, and both academic and social struggles were all significant factors in the decision.

Size should NEVER be a reason to hold back.

Of course. You’ve misunderstood my post. When presented with the idea of holding back, one factor I looked at was the physical size of the student. If the student was especially tall for their age, I never would have considered holding the kid back. If the student had a January birthday, I never would have considered it. Size is a factor to be considered in the decision, but never a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is child within the typical redshirting birthday range? Redshirting has been discussed on here many times.

In my opinion, no. But it is a summer birthday, just not a late summer birthday where it is an easy answer. I didn't want to direct the conversation down that path though. Just want to have an idea of what options there are, if any, and if it's something worth pushing back on if I felt some improvement can be made in a few months time.

[Anonymous]

As a parent, I would advocate for what I thought was best for my kid if that meant pushing back after getting as much info as possible. The school I am familiar with has kindergarten teachers give their recommendation for redshirting kids or not within the birthday range, however it is ultimately the parents decision as a potential option offered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It's a behavior concern. There weren't too many concerns academically, but they're pretty much saying he's behind his other classmates and they think it'll only get worse for next year which maybe means he will fall further behind academically (that is my takeaway from the conversation). I really have no idea what to make of this, but he is definitely a stand out from his classmates (think pulling away from the teacher, storming off, having to be constantly redirected, ignoring direction, etc.).

The school is more likely to work with you if you show that you're taking their concerns seriously. What are you doing to support your child's emotional dysregulation -- are you getting an evaluation?

[Anonymous]

Please switch schools and and get occupational therapy for the emotional regulation and executive function issues. The school is a bad fit for him. Holding back when the academics are on track will not help anything, could even make it worse because now he will be bored on top of it all. Next year they will demand you medicate him. Watch.

You may not like to hear this, but homeschooling in the early grades also works well for a lot of boys with this profile of being smart but unable to follow directions and control temper.

[Anonymous]

I would get an evaluation. We discovered that our child was dyslexic at the end of K but it was described as a behavior issue because she was frequently off-task. The school was surprised because she had done well on the oral assessments that are common in kindergarten. She is a 2E kiddo who had a very large vocabulary and excellent comprehension, so that masked that she could not decode.

Depending on the reading curriculum, the school may not actually be evaluating decoding versus sight words. And dyslexia is quite common (1 in 5). Repeating the same ineffective curriculum would have been a disaster for her.

So I would start by asking more about when the behavior challenges happen, are there patterns to the time he is off task.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP.

We had a similar situation...DC was in K, and in early spring of that year the school asked us to think about repeating the grade due to issues of "immaturity" they noticed in DC. We discussed it, but didn't agree with the school's impressions of our child, but since DC had a mid-summer bday and was a preemie (which equated to having a late summer bday), we had a private evaluation done just to make sure DC was on track.

Aside from slight impulsiveness (which is typical of most 5 year olds), the provider found zero issues and discouraged having DC repeat the grade. Several weeks later we met with the K division leader who assumed we were on board with DC repeating the grade, and was quite surprised when we said we were not. The leader offered several reasons why repeating would be in the best interest of DC, but none of them were academic. They said things like...DC stays on the playground when teacher calls kids to lineup, talks out of turn, at times clings to teacher at recess...all things that we thought were typical of kids DC's age...and they were. The issue was that DC was being compared to kids who were between 3-10 months older, which can make a big difference when the kids are being evaluated as a group. There were kids who turned 6 just weeks after DC turned 5, so it really did look like DC was immature when in fact, that wasn't the case. I believe there were 2-3 other kids in the class who had similar situations...DC and one other kid moved to 1st grade, another kid repeated, but I'm not sure about the other.

I brought the age disparity to the leader's attention and provided the school with the evaluation report that discouraged having DC repeat. I also asked the school to provide us with a written guarantee that whatever issues they felt DC had would be resolved/corrected by having DC repeat Kindergarten, but of course they didn't want to do that. Down the line we did discover that DC had some mild attention issues, but repeating the grade would not have helped that issue, and probably would have made it worse because DC would have been doing work that they had breezed through the year before.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is trust your gut...you know your kid better than anyone else, so do what you think is right for him/her. It usually all works out in the end no matter which road you decide to take

[Anonymous]

Have child evaluated by someone you choose (but its ok to ask school for recommendation of evaluators if you wish) AND tell the school now that you are having DC evaluated. Schools usually are more willing to work with a family if they know the family is acting to identify & address whichever issues might exist.

(Too many families have their heads in the sand, which is a pity for the DC because often these issues can be resolved by getting DC appropriate help. This is one of the reasons why schools get frustrated.)

[Anonymous]

Talk to the teachers directly and work with them on the behavior issues separate from the rec to hold back. If this is significant, behavior should be considered separately as well. If not, the rec sounds soft.