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While I don't think you necessarily need to send your kid to the least expensive college they got into, it's pretty crazy to insist on send them to the highest ranked college they get into regardless of cost, especially when money really is an issue for you (and for most people it is) and when the school costs much more than other good options.
With college now in the rear view window in our family, what our kids (who attending highly ranked schools) are now seeing is that, with few exceptions, where they and their high school friends ended up going to college has had very little impact on their job opportunities or professional prospects as adults. In a nutshell, virtually all of their friends went to college, they all did fine, and it's not like you can now line them up in order of success as adults and find any correlation between that order and the ranking of the colleges they attended. |
It depends on OP's finances, but I think such a kid seems entitled if they expect the parents to pay beaucoup bucks for a college degree. Some of these colleges cost more than the median salary. That's insane. OP has two other kids. What would they tell the other kids when it's time for them to go to college? I get it, OP. My DC worked their butt off in HS. Graduating in a magnet program 4.0 uwgpa, very high SAT scores. DC applied to flagship in state as well as OOS and fancy private. DC will most likely go in state honors college that has a very good reputation in the industry because it's soo much cheaper (merit aid) AND the reputation is solid. DC will easily be able to find a good paying job after graduation. The money we save will also allow DC to go to graduate school possibly fully paid by us. My DC told me that a lot of the reasons why kids want to go to these fancy elite schools is due to ego, and that does include DC. I told DC I'm not paying $320K for your ego. Instead, I'll buy you a car for $32K after you graduate. The best gift you can give your college aged kid is to have them graduate without any loans, and for the parents to be financially independent in retirement and not have to rely on their kids. |
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We did not choose the least expensive option for my oldest daughter, nor are we likely to do so for our current HS senior. But...we did/are choosing an option that was in budget that had the best fit for our children for their major, academically, socially, etc.
For my oldest daughter's case, her cheapest school was an in-state school that's kind of in the middle of nowhere, with little diversity. And while it had her major, we did not think there would be good internship opportunities. She really only applied to go there if she did not get in anywhere else. On the other end, she also applied to a "reach" school that she loved that is expensive and not known for giving good merit. I told her that unless the unlikely merit came back for her, it wasn't going to be an option because we had a budget we had set for college. As expected, it did not. So we picked the best school within our budget that met all of her and our important requirements and was a good fit. She absolutely loves it there and is thriving. The situation is the same with my current senior. She has 4 options. One is in-state and is the absolute cheapest (about $12K/year cheaper than the next cheapest) and actually would be a decent fit. One is out-of-state (her favorite!), is twice the price of in-state option and not known for giving good merit, and they didn't. The other two options are within our budget (out of state with good merit) and both fall about midway in cost between the cheapest and most expensive. All are pretty equal academically. We have ruled out the most expensive one, but are willing to pay for any of the other three because they are all within the set budget that she knew about before she started applying. It would be nice for her to take the cheapest one but it is unlikely as she wants to leave the state and spread her wings, and we are good with that. We would not have gone out of budget for that for her and she knows that because we were pretty firm before the whole application process that we had $xx to spend on college. Good luck! |
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| Our eldest kid attended W&M which was the most expensive of her in-state options, but the least expensive of her private school options (except for one "safety" private that offered considerable merit aid which brought cost down to equivalent). No regrets on choosing W&M over other in-state options as I think the education she has gotten there has been excellent, she's had great research opportunities at W&M, and got an excellent job after graduation (graduated last year). The level of detailed written feedback and interaction she had with W&M professors was stronger than I remember having at my private LAC. One of her private school options was a T20 which we could have stretched to afford and I'm glad we didn't--I can't imagine the education or outcome would have been better. |
| No. My eldest went to Purdue. He would have gone to Tech if we had made it about money. We had purchased the prepaid tuition at a much lower cost. He did extremely well at Purdue and had a group of friends for the first time in his life. He is now working in a great job and has a great life. When we visited both campuses, there was something that made it seem a better place for him. It was such a positive experience. |
That's great, though of course you'll never know if he could have had all of that and more at Tech. There's just no way of knowing. |
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We didn't do the least expensive, but my DS did choose one of the lower cost colleges where he was accepted. He, on his own, decided that the prestige/reputation* of the more expensive one wasn't worth the extra cost.
*really that it's just better known by name by most people. |
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Words from my 26 yr old niece who ended up at an instate due to cost over a private LAC where she would've had to take out a loan even though she *really* did not want to go to instate. She got a great job out of college, now close to making six figures.
"I'm so glad I went with in state and didn't have a loan. I see all my friends who went to more expensive schools struggling to pay their loans, some moving in with their parents. I have enough saved now to buy a small condo." My niece spoke to my soon to be college freshman about college costs and loans. She convinced my DC to take the good in state option, and save your money. |
+1 I stated up thread.. I really think it's an ego thing. I get it. But, ego doesn't justify the cost. |
But, they don't need to know because Purdue was a tremendous success for this student. |
No, but so many kids come from NOVA that there is a chance that he would have faced the kind of exclusion and bullying he received in K-12. |
| Not to be obnoxious but we have a net worth around $8 million and we worry if it is stupid to be paying full price at a private... If you have less than a million in liquid assets you really shouldn't think about paying a premium for school unless we are talking about Top 10 or something and your kid is gunning for Wall Street. What really matters is that the kid makes the most of the college experience, high GPA, etc. |
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Excellent question. I'll answer as the parent of a twice exceptional child (gifted with disabilities). DS will have lifelong issues, which might impact his professional and private life. With that in mind, we want to avoid closing doors for him, so we're ready to pay for an expensive, name-brand college, if it means that hiring managers will look at the diploma and be impressed. I am willing to pay for the brand, to compensate for whatever issues will come up in his working life. My best friends have Ivy diplomas, and my husband has an MD/PhD. I've seen how their resumes automatically open doors for them that might not be as wide open had they gone to other schools, or had fewer terminal degrees. So... I can't actually solve my son's problems for him, but I try to work on the edges. |
Yes. One child only. It was a one and done deal. |