Why do donut hole families

Anonymous
People see some kid getting full FA an Ivy and think, “Wow, poor people are so lucky.” What they don’t see is that A) that kid would be taking out loans to go to a state school if they hadn’t gotten into that Ivy and B) Most poor kids are in community college.
Anonymous
I never complain about it. But if I ever mention that we're not willing to pay higher than in-state prices, I get attacked for that position.
Anonymous
The donut hole is a myth that poor savers tell themselves. Decisions have consequences. Buying a larger house or nicer car - spending more for vacations and fancy summer camps are all decisions.

College costs are not unexpected. You have nearly two decades to save.

Plus, you don’t have to save for the most expensive college. All of you who consider yourselves middle class- that means kids stay at home and go to college or they go to an instate college. That is what middle class parents have done for generations. Paying the full amount for high end tuitions for private schools are for rich families not yours.

Anonymous
A lot of us got into the financial position to be in the donut hole by doing "everything right" being top students all through school, getting into a highly selective college, graduating, working for years to move up the corporate ladder, saving for college every month since our kids got out of daycare, provide the enrichment/tutoring/house in a top school district that allowed our kids to do well enough to get into a top college. But now we can't afford to send them to the top college on the level that we attended.

I know, cry me a river. It's such a deeply privileged sob story.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The donut hole is a myth that poor savers tell themselves. Decisions have consequences. Buying a larger house or nicer car - spending more for vacations and fancy summer camps are all decisions.

College costs are not unexpected. You have nearly two decades to save.

Plus, you don’t have to save for the most expensive college. All of you who consider yourselves middle class- that means kids stay at home and go to college or they go to an instate college. That is what middle class parents have done for generations. Paying the full amount for high end tuitions for private schools are for rich families not yours.



That's not true. College costs have increased so much families can't hope to deny themselves every luxury to meet that cost. We're fortunate that we can afford any college, but most people can't, even if they tighten their belt.

Please don't be so ignorant and smug.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The donut hole is a myth that poor savers tell themselves. Decisions have consequences. Buying a larger house or nicer car - spending more for vacations and fancy summer camps are all decisions.

College costs are not unexpected. You have nearly two decades to save.

Plus, you don’t have to save for the most expensive college. All of you who consider yourselves middle class- that means kids stay at home and go to college or they go to an instate college. That is what middle class parents have done for generations. Paying the full amount for high end tuitions for private schools are for rich families not yours.



I actually agree with you. So background, we have $250k HHI, $3M investment portfolio, house paid off.

Yeah, we can afford any college. Probably. For three kids though??

And is private or out of state worth it? No, I don't think so.

If we made $600k, that would be a different story. If we had $6M in stocks instead of $3M, that would also be different.

So I think we've made decent choices along the way about cars and houses and whatnot. But I consider us donut hole because we're too wealthy for financial aid, but not wealthy enough for a $350k undergraduate degree to be a drop in the bucket.
Anonymous
PoorER people, not poor people. Read carefully. If you qualify for full or very significant FA, you have more options in terms of elite private universities than if you are donut hole. Also, the EFCs do not take into account high COL areas, which is not realistic or logical.



Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it's because it just feels unfair to people that if they were richer or poorer, their kids might have more options. It isn't necessarily unfair, or maybe it is, but this is how people feel. I also think that many donut hole families have parents who attended top private universities at a time when they were more affordable and it is a shock that their kids can't do the same, even though they have been saving for years. We are not a donut hole family, so this is just my guess as to how people feel.


But the "poor people have more options" thing is a myth.

I think that people who complain about being a "donut hole" family are implying that things are better on the other side of the hole. But in reality, it isn't. And continuing to use the term when that's been pointed out, is basically a dog whistle, because once you know how college financial aid works, complaining about being a donut hole family means that you think that actual middle class (not DCUM middle class) and low income families don't deserve what you deserve, which is affordable college choices for their kids.

Now, if you want to complaining that EFC's are unrealistic for many families. Or that college costs too much. Yes! Those are very valid complaints, and things worth advocating around. But the idea that college is only a financial burden for some subset of kinda rich but not very rich people is simply untrue.
Anonymous
There is a big difference between a donut hole family that is right above the cusp of qualifying for financial aid and a donut hole family that is swimming in millions. A big difference. The ones just above the cusp, who perhaps sacrificed and saved for college, could perhaps be justifiably a little resentful of the ones just below the cusp... The ones swimming in millions don't really care about 25k a year here or there.
Anonymous
YOU HAVE A 3 MIL INVESTMENT PORTFOLIO AND CONSIDER YOURSELF DONUT HOLE? OMG.


Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The donut hole is a myth that poor savers tell themselves. Decisions have consequences. Buying a larger house or nicer car - spending more for vacations and fancy summer camps are all decisions.

College costs are not unexpected. You have nearly two decades to save.

Plus, you don’t have to save for the most expensive college. All of you who consider yourselves middle class- that means kids stay at home and go to college or they go to an instate college. That is what middle class parents have done for generations. Paying the full amount for high end tuitions for private schools are for rich families not yours.



I actually agree with you. So background, we have $250k HHI, $3M investment portfolio, house paid off.

Yeah, we can afford any college. Probably. For three kids though??

And is private or out of state worth it? No, I don't think so.

If we made $600k, that would be a different story. If we had $6M in stocks instead of $3M, that would also be different.

So I think we've made decent choices along the way about cars and houses and whatnot. But I consider us donut hole because we're too wealthy for financial aid, but not wealthy enough for a $350k undergraduate degree to be a drop in the bucket.
Anonymous



If we earn 225k in NYC, do you really think that we can save enough for private college by skipping luxury cars? We don't even have a frigging car! Maybe if we lived in Nebraska.


Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The donut hole is a myth that poor savers tell themselves. Decisions have consequences. Buying a larger house or nicer car - spending more for vacations and fancy summer camps are all decisions.

College costs are not unexpected. You have nearly two decades to save.

Plus, you don’t have to save for the most expensive college. All of you who consider yourselves middle class- that means kids stay at home and go to college or they go to an instate college. That is what middle class parents have done for generations. Paying the full amount for high end tuitions for private schools are for rich families not yours.



That's not true. College costs have increased so much families can't hope to deny themselves every luxury to meet that cost. We're fortunate that we can afford any college, but most people can't, even if they tighten their belt.

Please don't be so ignorant and smug.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:One reason we complain is that we are also sandwich generation families, not just donut holes. Our families made less money when we were kids, so we received financial aid in college, took out student loans, then excelled in life, got good jobs, but spent so much $$$ paying off student loans that we didn't have enough cash to save for our own kids' colleges. However, we earn enough now to receive no financial aid, and can probably only afford in-state tuition and not full-pay private tuition, so that's why we're upset. And now some of us sandwich generation have to give money to provide for our aging parents (who were not earning much $$ to begin with) all while figuring out how to pay for our kids' educations. When I went to undergrad, tuition was $17k at a top 10/15 private university. Now that tuition is $60k. It's just sad.

This is my personal story, so not everyone is in the same boat. We have saved enough in 529s for all 3 kids to go to in-state schools. We could use cash flow + 529 for one child if they get into a private worth paying full price for. This is where it's sad because we can't afford to do that for all 3, but oh well, what are the odds they'll all 3 be smart enough to get into a top 10/15 school anyway? There is no guarantee that they will have the same experiences that I had and I accept that.

The sandwich is a phase that all generations experience. There is no generation that escapes it as a whole. My grandmother, born in 1905, experienced it when her children still lived at home and her MIL moved in because she could not work anymore and had no retirement.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I agree. Especially because most donut hole families can easily afford instate schools. I turned down W&M back in the day (instate) and went to CNU instead for financial reasons.


There are a wide range, and some can not easily afford 40k a year for instate
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:People see some kid getting full FA an Ivy and think, “Wow, poor people are so lucky.” What they don’t see is that A) that kid would be taking out loans to go to a state school if they hadn’t gotten into that Ivy and B) Most poor kids are in community college.


Yes but 1) Ivy don’t give loans any more, so FA is all grants and 2) oftennthose donut hole families have a SAHM or mom doing a creative field like interior design or something, which is way more fun and flexible than the dual GS14 family who won’t get any aid.

In both cases we are talking about kids who were accepted to Ivy, who worked hard, so no idea why you talk about state schools.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:There is a big difference between a donut hole family that is right above the cusp of qualifying for financial aid and a donut hole family that is swimming in millions. A big difference. The ones just above the cusp, who perhaps sacrificed and saved for college, could perhaps be justifiably a little resentful of the ones just below the cusp... The ones swimming in millions don't really care about 25k a year here or there.


We qualify for some aid, but have an efc of around 40k a year. Now that fafsa ignores siblings, that turns into 90k for the two years they’ll overlap. I consider us to be donut hole even though we’ll get some financial aid
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The donut hole is a myth that poor savers tell themselves. Decisions have consequences. Buying a larger house or nicer car - spending more for vacations and fancy summer camps are all decisions.

College costs are not unexpected. You have nearly two decades to save.

Plus, you don’t have to save for the most expensive college. All of you who consider yourselves middle class- that means kids stay at home and go to college or they go to an instate college. That is what middle class parents have done for generations. Paying the full amount for high end tuitions for private schools are for rich families not yours.



I actually agree with you. So background, we have $250k HHI, $3M investment portfolio, house paid off.

Yeah, we can afford any college. Probably. For three kids though??

And is private or out of state worth it? No, I don't think so.

If we made $600k, that would be a different story. If we had $6M in stocks instead of $3M, that would also be different.

So I think we've made decent choices along the way about cars and houses and whatnot. But I consider us donut hole because we're too wealthy for financial aid, but not wealthy enough for a $350k undergraduate degree to be a drop in the bucket.


Guess what, for people who get full FA the tickets home and the opportunity costs of sending a kid to college (as opposed to them living at home, attending a local school while working part-time and contributing to the household) are not a drop in the bucket either. Yet, they deal with it, and so will you.
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