Parents sabotaging relationships of adult children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a healthy relationship with my parents and they couldn’t do this if they tried. What would they do?

man you are so lucky you can’t imagine how this works …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see that with many American parents tbh
It’s mostly parents from other cultures
I totally intend to keep tabs on my son’s personal life - as someone said, to avoid the drama
I am already teaching him to avoid problematic people, those who love drama, etc.
and I will definitely be more welcoming to someone I approve than not

wow, a real one in the wild!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see that with many American parents tbh
It’s mostly parents from other cultures
I totally intend to keep tabs on my son’s personal life - as someone said, to avoid the drama
I am already teaching him to avoid problematic people, those who love drama, etc.
and I will definitely be more welcoming to someone I approve than not

You are the drama lady. Time to ween your son from the teat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not common

+1 I have never heard of this happening to anyone.

Nor I. Sabotage how?

[Anonymous]

Because kids don’t understand family legacy like parents do and only think about their genitals

[Anonymous]

I opposed a relationship my then-21 year old was in with a 38 year old.

[Anonymous]

I've seen some parents not approving of their adult children's SO or timing of the relationships even though SO was great and timing may not be optimal but wasn't too early. Few of them never found someone as compatible and stayed alone or divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I opposed a relationship my then-21 year old was in with a 38 year old.

My friend's parent insisted she marries a 35 year old at 22 because he was loaded and professionally accomplished. It was an arranged marriage. It worked out okay but she wasn't thrilled with the idea at first. They weren't mentally compatible but he did put her on a pedestal and provided every thing she wanted. She wants her daughter to marry for love and with someone in her own age group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Until my mother died, she talked about how lucky I was to have my brother. She never ONCE said he was lucky to have me. It affected how we viewed each other and how we treated each other. Still does, a little bit.

Why did she say that only you were lucky to have him? Is she fr a culture that prefers boys?

[Anonymous]

Why are you blaming your parents? Look inward.

I find that the people who are constantly blaming others are typically the ones with the flaws yet lack all self-awareness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see that with many American parents tbh
It’s mostly parents from other cultures
I totally intend to keep tabs on my son’s personal life - as someone said, to avoid the drama
I am already teaching him to avoid problematic people, those who love drama, etc.
and I will definitely be more welcoming to someone I approve than not

Be mindful that you could find yourself the one left out. A friend’s mom basically backed her brother in a corner and forced him to choose between his wife and his mom..The mom did not win that battle and not surprisingly, guess which side of the family the grandkids spent the most time with….not his.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if it's any more common than adult children sabotaging the relationships of their parents, or more likely, their step-parents.

In both cases you might think it's common because it's your reality and people with problems like this are more likely to post about it than people without problems like this, so how do you determine what's common or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because kids don’t understand family legacy like parents do and only think about their genitals

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because kids don’t understand family legacy like parents do and only think about their genitals

This is a textbook example of a parent who would sabotage their young adult's relationship.

[Anonymous]

It’s an old-fashioned lifestyle. The parents do not want the daughters to “abandon” them when they are in their old age. Best to keep the daughters unmarried so they can cook and clean for the family.