Redshirting girls?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t be serious. They can’t give a reason you should hold your daughter back — behavioral, academic readiness, social, emotional — because there isn’t one! They want money from you for another year. That’s it. I definitely would not red shirt and I’d frankly be ticked off that her school cares more about making money off of you than your daughter’s academic growth. Gross.

OP here. My husband feels the way you feel. I was surprised, but can be swayed either way. However, I am beyond annoyed/frustrated and it is changing my outlook on the school.

OP, it is partly as they don't have a lot of slots so they can stall interested families and partly because it's easier for them. Older kids are generally easier for them as they require less prep work however a good preschool should prepare kids for K. We looked into privates in 4th grade and almost all tried to insist I hold my child back. Child did great in school, all top grades, top testing scores. It made no sense to hold the child back. They couldn't give me a good reason except that was their policy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we redshirted our June girl. no regrets. she's in 4th now, not the oldest but one of them. however, when I see the 5th graders, I know it was the right decision. there is no way she'd be thriving being the youngest in her class.

she'll be one of the first to drive, instead of the last. less drama between the kids, etc.

and, when she's a senior in hs - it's another year she'll be at home with her parents.

When/what age did you decide to redshirt? And what made you decide to go forward with it and stick with it (were there learning/academic/social concerns or was it pushed by her school)?

[Anonymous]

My daughter has an early sept bday so would have been 5 in k in public (9/30) cut off but was 6 in K in private (9/1 cutoff). It’s a top private here and she’s the oldest girl in her grade. She’s doing well and loves it but socially she’s always been drawn to the girls one grade ahead. It’s also frustrating bc she’s on sports teams with girls a grade ahead bc her main sport goes by age not school year. Our school was firm about the cutoff for K but after that doesn’t go by a cutoff so even said she could do K elsewhere and come the next year for 1st. I didn’t do that bc I wanted her to be a lifer and bond well w/ her grade, but my point is not all schools push it. I wouldn’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we redshirted our June girl. no regrets. she's in 4th now, not the oldest but one of them. however, when I see the 5th graders, I know it was the right decision. there is no way she'd be thriving being the youngest in her class.

she'll be one of the first to drive, instead of the last. less drama between the kids, etc.

and, when she's a senior in hs - it's another year she'll be at home with her parents.

When/what age did you decide to redshirt? And what made you decide to go forward with it and stick with it (were there learning/academic/social concerns or was it pushed by her school)?

we talked with the preschool teacher (PK-4) in October. She said she'd evaluate and let us know as time went on. Then in the spring she told us she highly recommended it.

She was very immature (and would con't to be if with 5th grade peers), socially it made sense.

And they didn't recommend it for everyone in her preschool class (girls or boys). In fact, there were July boys they recommended go to K on time. So in our case it wasn't a $ making issue for the school.

For her she did a pre-k 5 and then went to k at age 6.

She's now 10 and you'd never know the difference between her and her peers. They are all on the same wavelength. I do believe it was the best decision for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t be serious. They can’t give a reason you should hold your daughter back — behavioral, academic readiness, social, emotional — because there isn’t one! They want money from you for another year. That’s it. I definitely would not red shirt and I’d frankly be ticked off that her school cares more about making money off of you than your daughter’s academic growth. Gross.

OP here. My husband feels the way you feel. I was surprised, but can be swayed either way. However, I am beyond annoyed/frustrated and it is changing my outlook on the school.

OP, it is partly as they don't have a lot of slots so they can stall interested families and partly because it's easier for them. Older kids are generally easier for them as they require less prep work however a good preschool should prepare kids for K. We looked into privates in 4th grade and almost all tried to insist I hold my child back. Child did great in school, all top grades, top testing scores. It made no sense to hold the child back. They couldn't give me a good reason except that was their policy.

Thank you. This is exactly what we have tossed around in our discussion. We are already a committed family so of course, we will still be around next year. They can give "our space" to a new family instead who would go elsewhere if they aren't admitted. So it does come down to more money. Not more money from us, but more money. Which is disappointing to realize it has very little to do with the child (in our case).

[Anonymous]

There is a girl in my sons prek class who has a July birthday and is currently being redshirted. Her mother is confident it was the right decision, is so happy with the progress she’s made this year, and is sure she is where she should be right now. You should do what is best for your individual child, make the decision as a parent combined with the opinion of educators who know them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a girl in my sons prek class who has a July birthday and is currently being redshirted. Her mother is confident it was the right decision, is so happy with the progress she’s made this year, and is sure she is where she should be right now. You should do what is best for your individual child, make the decision as a parent combined with the opinion of educators who know them.

Way too young to know.

[Anonymous]

In the absence of providing some reason, I would be suspicious that the school just wants another year of tuition.

I wouldn't do it unless you think she's going to struggle in her age cohort.

[Anonymous]

I have a July girl who went on time. She was ready, so we sent her. She's in 3rd grade now and honestly it doesn't matter who was born when. I could tell in K and 1st that there was sometimes things that peers could do that she couldn't. She was slow to read, but this year has been a real equalizer in that regard. She's ahead of grade now, and very excited about it. She's reading the same level as her friends who went into K reading already.

So I do not regret sending her AT ALL.

[Anonymous]

My friend’s daughter repeated 1st grade 15 years ago. They are happy with the decision.

[Anonymous]

Anyone with longer term examples of how the kid is now in HS or college? I know two examples - one was pretty mature and academically oriented and mostly bored at school. For the other it worked great and she was the biggest kid on the teams, which worked for her.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised by everyone saying being older keeps their kids "out of the drama." I was average age for my grade, but emotionally immature (didn't really hit puberty until 7th grade) and I always thought one of the reason I avoid so much stereotypical girl drama was because my friends and I were late bloomers.

[Anonymous]

Everyone has a story ....
August girl not held back in 9th grade now and VERY influenced by peer pressure now.
July girl went on time and thriving in 9th grade

Although it feels like it right now, there will be many other things that influence where you child goes in life - and the biggest influencer is what is happening at home (what level of education you and your spouse had)

[Anonymous]

DD was born July 3. Right now she's in prek and doing well. Teacher says she is the 2nd youngest kid.

I have no plans to redshirt her. Id rather start her on time and let her stay back later in her schooling if necessary. Otherwise you have no wiggle room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t be serious. They can’t give a reason you should hold your daughter back — behavioral, academic readiness, social, emotional — because there isn’t one! They want money from you for another year. That’s it. I definitely would not red shirt and I’d frankly be ticked off that her school cares more about making money off of you than your daughter’s academic growth. Gross.

OP here. My husband feels the way you feel. I was surprised, but can be swayed either way. However, I am beyond annoyed/frustrated and it is changing my outlook on the school.

I think you guys both have the right to feel annoyed and frustrated. Clearly, the pre-K program wants you to have your child repeat a grade because they want money. They don’t want to spend the time or resources to recruit or invest in a new students if they don’t have to. However, this is an enormous disservice to your child, and any other classmates, and their families who are being told to hold their kids back when there is no reason for holding them back. Your child is ready for kindergarten, her school does not have the best intentions of its students at heart, and you are being swindled. Plain and simple.