What do YOU do to bond with your tween?

[Anonymous]

Hiking and just hanging out at home. I try really hard to listen and pay attention when he talks about GT5 or whatever video game he's into. I remember reading once that if we don't listen when they are young (when the topic might not be important to us, but it is to them) they wont talk when they are older.

[Anonymous]

My DH is a big hiker and he’s gotten our 5th grade DD into it as well. They have great one on one time when they hike and they talk about what’s going on with her life, etc. with no tween hormonal attitude. He is not an organized sports guy though and I was big into sports in my youth, so she and I bond over her swimming and will stay in hotels for meets that are more than an hour away so that we have our time together. We also try to find shows that the whole family can enjoy together every week.

[Anonymous]

Watching a movie choice they want to watch
subject to a rare parental veto

[Anonymous]

I sit through all the dumb memes he wants to show me.

[Anonymous]

I take a trip with just the two of us every year..

[Anonymous]

Bike rides. Volunteering at the animal shelter (she's 13).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sit through all the dumb memes he wants to show me.

Same. And the TikTok videos that she finds hilarious and I find flat out confusing. I watch them and let her talk. And she loves to share song lyrics with me.

[Anonymous]

I found it disturbing that a tween boy – not even a teenager – is into slasher movies? For a kid that young to be into people getting violently killed, I would be concerned personally. The fact that you encourage that is pretty weird. Kids who are into that stuff at a young age usually have a kind of sadistic side.

[Anonymous]

Board games. He loves to play them (though I do not), so I carve out time to play them with him.

[Anonymous]

We have a breakfast club. Each kid gets to go breakfast with one parent on a weekend morning. We rotate so they get a different parent every other time. We have three boys, so it works out to about once or twice a month, if we squeeze two into a weekend. Sometimes they get a lunch or snack club instead, if it works easier in the schedule. It’s really nice to be alone without the distractions of screens and brothers.

[Anonymous]

Both of our teens are sports-obsessed. DH and I like sports, too, but not nearly to the degree our kids do. But we make a big effort to stroll down to the basement to watch a lot games or SportsCenter with them and just hang for a bit.

Usually we’re all multitasking (DCs on their phones, me on the Kindle), which makes it easy and companionable time together. Mostly chill but with bits of conversation in little moments along the way, too. 😊

And I’m always up for listening to their random sports chatter/commentary at other times. The minutia goes over my head (good lord, the minutia!) , but I think of it as their way of sharing themselves, so I always try to engage and welcome it and enjoy the connection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found it disturbing that a tween boy – not even a teenager – is into slasher movies? For a kid that young to be into people getting violently killed, I would be concerned personally. The fact that you encourage that is pretty weird. Kids who are into that stuff at a young age usually have a kind of sadistic side.

Really? My friends and I loved the Friday the 13th movies etc. as tweens. I feel like that’s straight up normal middle school stuff. (Oh, and none of us became sadists or serial killers, in case you were wondering. 😂)

[Anonymous]

Ping pong.

Drives in car.

Listening to an audio book together at night.

[Anonymous]

Oh I have gotten into so many crazy things because of my kids. Let’s play videos. ASMR soap-cutting videos. Minecraft. Chess. Figure skating. Engineering. Maps. Slime. Baking bread. Lord of the rings. Penelope Scott. Mutual Aid. LGBT rights. Sewing.

I always firmly believed that it’s important for parents to be interested in what their kids are interested in but damn, I didn’t know they would be interested in so much and my brain is a little fried. I’m just glad DH has more energy and he can do things like gardening and basketball with the kids. I’ll happily sit through a LotR marathon with one kid while he plays basketball with the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh I have gotten into so many crazy things because of my kids. Let’s play videos. ASMR soap-cutting videos. Minecraft. Chess. Figure skating. Engineering. Maps. Slime. Baking bread. Lord of the rings. Penelope Scott. Mutual Aid. LGBT rights. Sewing.

I always firmly believed that it’s important for parents to be interested in what their kids are interested in but damn, I didn’t know they would be interested in so much and my brain is a little fried. I’m just glad DH has more energy and he can do things like gardening and basketball with the kids. I’ll happily sit through a LotR marathon with one kid while he plays basketball with the other.

Oh but I would NOT do horror movies. I am really glad that my kids aren’t into them. If they did get into them, I’d let DH handle it.