+1 I'm mad that I ever allowed my kid to participate. It feels like a money grab. |
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College. |
My kid adores sports, one in particular. It makes him happy, he works really hard at it, and he has leadership roles. He experiences success and defeat and disappointment and redemption in a zero—life-consequences way. He simply won’t do that with other worthy pursuits - chess, math team, writing, art, etc. If I made him do those things instead it would be my motivation, not his, and my goal is to let my kid learn what he can do when he taps into motivation and works hard. SOMEDAY he’ll learn to apply that to other non-sports things, like school or work.
He’s in high school, and while he isn’t a stellar student (still dislikes academics) he knows how to work hard, and he does. He’ll play in college, not because he’ll get a scholarship but because he loves his sport (still, after all these years). |
Most the adults I know that were athletic children still do something athletic as adults. Play basketball, hockey, run, bike, swim, tennis, raquetball, martial arts, golf, yoga, etc Many of them coach too. |
Thank you for clarifying my question! - OP |
I love sports, both watching and playing. I would not put my kid in travel or club sports unless they were so good that rec leagues and school sports did not makes sense. I don't mean "likes soccer and is reasonably good at it." I mean "they are significantly better than everyone else on the team and there's no option for playing up a level to challenge them that way." And they'd also have to love the sport and really, really want to do it. This is like 5% of all kids in any given sport. Yes in some communities, 50% or more of the kids in a sport play club sports. It's weird. I don't think this happens because people, and kids, like sports. I think it happens because people are super competitive and also lemmings. |
Sports is the American obsession, descended from the Anglo-Saxon insistence that public school (private, elite, but that's Britain for you) physical education built character and made boys into men. The whole idea of sports in history is steeped in toxic masculinity.
Americans have made it all their own, however, because college sports is big money. Most US universities build their brand and make money off some team college sports, and therefore wish to recruit promising athletes, often over more academically qualified applicants. Athletic admissions often take place before general admissions, actually. Even if families are not consciously aware that one of the goals is to increase a child's profile for college, kid sports have become part of the fabric of US society. Additionally, with more awareness of the benefits of exercise, many families mistakenly believe that more sports = healthier kids. They push sports to an extreme, while eating tons of processed foods and forgetting to teach their kids to moderate their calorie intake. Indeed, I've seen plenty of parents who push their kids to eat a ton because they are involved in multiple high-intensity sports. And then I've seen previously athletic adults become overweight and develop diabetes and heart disease because they never relearned healthy eating habits when they started working full-time and stopped exercising as much. Nutrition is more important than exercise, always and for ever, but that is information most Americans are not exposed to, due to limits on public health campaigns and lobbying by the food industry. Finally, injuries due to repetitive movements and intense exercise have been on the rise for years, due to children being pushed to their limits with competitive sports. That too is a serious issue. Building character, teamwork, critical thinking can be done in a myriad of different ways. Kids need to work and think together in chorus, orchestra, band, robotics, math and science competitions, etc. Yet most parents believe that sports teach more and better values than other activities, which is perfectly untrue. One last consideration: if you are worried about how intensively extra-curriculars are pursued here in the US, it's because, again, American colleges consider extra-curriculars in admissions. You can have the best academic record, you will not get into a selective college if you did nothing outside of school. This is markedly different from nearly all other countries's university selection process, which are purely academic in nature. This drives a huge industry of after-school activities, so that children can distinguish themselves in many different areas. Sports is notoriously intense, but so is music, or all other hobbies, if selective college admission is your goal. College admissions have become extremely cut-throat, and have nothing to do with the more casual admission process of 40 years ago. - foreigner who had a completely different childhood, but whose kids are living this experience and applying to college in the US. |
Any kid get to play on a club team? I thought you have to make it at the tryouts, lots of people go to tryouts, few get in, is this incorrect? |
It should all just be rec and divided by ability not age. Open to all and no traveling. |
My kids do sports because they like it. I support it because it’s exercise, discipline, teamwork, social. I agree it’s a lot though. I never did sports growing up except when I played on school teams |
You are right that a lot of kids spend a lot of time on sports, but not all do. If it's not the right choice for you and your kids, then just don't do it. You won't be alone. |
That would be awesome. My kid plays field hockey, can you point me to viable rec leagues in Alexandria that have enough participants to differentiate by skill? |
The issue here is when a parent and child have different desires. The child feels at home and most happy in the competitive team which unnerves the concerned parent who wants the child to have that passion for academics or other varied topics. Op and others are worried the time/attention demand is too much but it is the kid's passion. |
If your kids go to public schools, they won't make their school sports teams without playing travel/club. For the normal sports. |