Sleep trained at about 4 months using the Ferber method. It literally took 2 nights to complete the training (mostly done after one emotional -for us - night).
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Sorry I should not have said it is right, there is no right thing for every family - of course. Silly thing for me to say - I meant it was right for our family and can be right for many when you are getting little to know sleep. I would have LOVED to cosleep and feed on demand, barely waking to do a quick breastfeed like I heard others describe, and never sleep train. Truly. Sounds like a dream to me, but it didn't work for me or my kids. Happy healthy, well attached 1.5 and 4 year olds now. Attachment is built on thousands of moments. Don't let anyone convince you this moment is somehow going to irreparably damage it. Peaceful sleeper has some really good content on this. Also, you can still be responsive. My kids responded to doing checks where I would soothe which is the peaceful sleeper approach. |
This is like saying "are there no other issues with murder besides the fact that someone is dead afterwards?" FOUR MONTHS OF EVERY 45 MINUTES. I'm sorry, OP. You must be just exhausted. Honestly, I don't know how you could think straight long enough to even write your post. Hugs! |
This is OP.
We started Sunday night. She cried for an hour and fifteen minutes and didn't wake again till 7 am. Last night she cried for nine minutes and slept till 7. I am still feeding her three times but I'm going to wean the 2 am feed so I can sleep from 8-5 (DH does the 11 feed). Thank you all!!! |
Yay! Very happy for you! The first few days are the hardest! |
How about a failure? My wife refused to sleep train, and we were woken up virtually every night until our third slept through the night at 8. Not 8 weeks. Not 8 months. 8 years. So that was about 13 years of sleep deprivation. So as hard as it is to train, do it. It only gets harder. |
I personally think sleep training at 4 months is a lot less cruel than sleep training a toddler or older child. |
We sleep trained at 5 months. She had been waking only once in the night but then it was twice and pretty soon after that, it was 3 times, and we were losing our minds from sleep deprivation. She cried about 45 minutes the first night, less the second, was sleeping through the night by the 3rd. In the morning, she was her normal happy self. When you sleep train, have your husband watch the monitor while you listen to music with headphones.
I will say that nap training was harder; she really wanted to sleep on me until about 8 months. There is light at the end of the tunnel! Now at 18 months, my daughter sleeps 12 hours at night and naps 2 hours. At night time, she usually falls asleep right away. About once a week she will cry for about 15 minutes, which I consider her way of blowing off steam. Even after those nights, when morning comes around, she smiles and gives us kisses and hugs. At nap time, she usually is quietly awake for about 15 minutes before she falls asleep. |
Same for us. Toddler is 18 months now. When he’s had sleep regressions, we have gone back to Ferber and generally gotten through the regressions in 1-3 days. |
I sleep trained and it went great, but I set sleep habit expectations early so the sleep training was just the icing on the cake. My DD slept 8 hours through the night at 6 weeks and 12 hours through the night at 11 weeks.
Minimal breastfeeding helped. Not gonna lie. |
^I used Ferber, btw, at 5 months. I was staying at home so I wasn't in a rush, could have done it at 4 months. There were no middle of the night wakings to eliminate; just wanted the full reliable 7pm-7am. It took 2 or 3 nights to be zero-crying. |
There's a special place in hell for people who were gifted naturally good sleepers and think it comes down to their superior parenting. |
Ferber at 7 months. One hard night, two easy nights then 12 straight hours every night. So so worth it. |
I may not go that strong as I think it's a natural inclination to want to think things were our parenting when things go well, but I agree it's incredibly frustrating. The parents with decent newborn sleepers tell me the things they did as if I didn't do EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE THINGS. Of course I did. It's all over the internet, all the basics. The vast majority of us are doing it. Sadly it works for some and not others. |
So only people with poor sleepers are allowed to respond to this thread? I'm trying to give OP some encouragement. There is a bell curve/range of sleep tendencies in babies and maybe she will get lucky too! I don't think my parenting is superior, but there were many forks in the road along the way where I could've made DD's sleep worse or better from the baseline (which was admittedly very good). |