How do you balance saving money (for security) vs. spending money (to enjoy life before you die)?

[Anonymous]

Mindset is what it is, OP. I have come to value experiences that don't cost that much. We live in a tiny house, don't outsource anything, have very old cars, but do spend on nice travel occasionally (our families live on different continents, so we kind of have to!) and never skimp on our kids' education. When our kids were little, we didn't do the nanny and date night thing, because we were poor and didn't think it was worth the money - but if it's important for YOU, and it makes sense for your budget, then it's a worthwhile cost, obviously.

[Anonymous]

It is simple - you first take care of the security aspect of your life. More money towards retirement, long term care, nursing home expense, home remodelling for aging in place and more money towards college. (For example - don't think of just paying for 4 years of in-state college, but think about saving for 4 yrs of private college + saving for med school costs for both kids.). So after you pad your war chest, what should be your next expense?

I am a big believer in simplifying your life and outsourcing chores to give you more time with your kids. Investing your time on your children is priceless.

Pay for things that improve your overall, long term QOL. I would put home/yard improvements and maintainence, energy efficient purchases (like solar roof, insulation, new windows), education (EC, tutors, camps), health (gym membership, private trainer), hobbies ...a worthwhile expenditure.

Occasional splurges (maybe once a year) for travel. Don't do luxury vacations in a resort or cruise though. I have found that it basically skews the perception of life for young kids. They expect that things will come easy to them and they do not understand that they have to work very hard to achieve the same level of luxury. Teach them to live a lifestyle that they can afford, not a lifestyle that you can afford. We did a lot of travelling to US National Parks with our kids and I think it was a good balance of showing them US, having a low cost vacation and spending a lot of time with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I admire the way my parents handled this. They stayed frugal with spending when their income went up. They didn't really splurge on experiences or things while we were at home, but traveled extensively as empty nesters, fully paid for our undergrad and grad school, treated us to experiences and family trips as adults, and helped us when we were buying homes and getting established. I think if they had spent a lot on us as teens we would have had different expectations when we went out in the world (fancy restaurants, trendy clothing, luxury vacations). Instead we all have very middle class taste, and appreciated the splurges as just that. Spending on conveniences and more time together as you say is also worthwhile, it just doesn't need to be in a high-end location or with 'stuff'.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is simple - you first take care of the security aspect of your life. More money towards retirement, long term care, nursing home expense, home remodelling for aging in place and more money towards college. (For example - don't think of just paying for 4 years of in-state college, but think about saving for 4 yrs of private college + saving for med school costs for both kids.). So after you pad your war chest, what should be your next expense?

I am a big believer in simplifying your life and outsourcing chores to give you more time with your kids. Investing your time on your children is priceless.

Pay for things that improve your overall, long term QOL. I would put home/yard improvements and maintainence, energy efficient purchases (like solar roof, insulation, new windows), education (EC, tutors, camps), health (gym membership, private trainer), hobbies ...a worthwhile expenditure.

Occasional splurges (maybe once a year) for travel. Don't do luxury vacations in a resort or cruise though. I have found that it basically skews the perception of life for young kids. They expect that things will come easy to them and they do not understand that they have to work very hard to achieve the same level of luxury. Teach them to live a lifestyle that they can afford, not a lifestyle that you can afford. We did a lot of travelling to US National Parks with our kids and I think it was a good balance of showing them US, having a low cost vacation and spending a lot of time with them.

Even if you can’t save for all of that right now … it’s ok to spend. It’s ok to buy that sweater you love, go out to eat on a whim or somewhere fancy you have been wanting to try. It’s ok to stay in a nice hotel.

[Anonymous]

I do both. I save money for the future but I also spend to live my life to the fullest. This is called balance.
We can’t take our bank account to the grave. At the same time, we don’t want to spend all and be poor when we are older.
Find your balance.