Parents when do you find time for activities

[Anonymous]

I don’t do “activities” - maybe when my kids go off to college I will start. As of now, I am so happy just to read and exercise, and I feel quite pleased when I get to do that!

[Anonymous]

Why can't your spouse be with your kid while you take the martial arts class? Why can't your kid sit in the lobby and read or do homework while they wait for you? I mean, he's in third grade - that's plenty old enough.

[Anonymous]

I dont really do activities. I mean I have interests. I read, play strategy games, run, bike, cook, dabble in online classes, but none of those are structured activities that have to happen at a set time. Because its too hard to find that time and rely on it regularly when you have kids. That's the truth. So find some interests that don't require huge time commitments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol. and you only have one.

Enough with the parent of only-child shaming, or whatever this is. I have one, and I'm crazy busy all the time. I take time out of my work day to try and squeeze my workout in. But as someone wiht a very busy DH who is the primary caretaker, having one child is extremely busy, too.

It’s a lot less busy than multiple kids!

Here is a brownie PP for most busy mom of the year!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with picking up activities you can do in your car while you wait for DC. Knitting, reading, online classes, listening to podcasts or meditations.

Also, would the martial arts place allow your child to sit and do homework/read while you’re in class? My kids are in martial arts and I’ve noticed one boy stays after while his dad takes a class.

My single mom friend wakes up at 4 so she has a good 2.5 hours to herself for her own interests. She reads, writes, takes self-paced online classes. But that also requires her to be in bed around 9 each night.

Now, I also think you and DH need to talk about how you can help each other prioritize some time for yourselves. Even a homebody should be able to take the child one night a week while you go to a class. My DH goes through stages of long, unpredictable hours, but he does his best to work his hours around my choir rehearsal/dinner with a friend if it’s planned in advance.

OP here thank you and other PPs with the helpful responses. We can get babysitter to watch our kid when DH is not home but my question was more about driving and scheduling outside the house. I tried online classes but for activities I want to do they either don't do zoom or don't have live classes after 8/9 pm. Maybe having DC stay in lobby etc. would be an option for some of these for now. It's just not feasible to drive DC back and forth and then I rush off to mine. I realized I love going to my kid's activities so I need to prioritize until they go off to college. Maybe I will also take up knitting meanwhile

[Anonymous]

My hobby is exercise. Kills two birds with one stone. I do a masters swim class that meets 8:30-10 so kids are already settled. I’ll also sometimes meet friends for walks or runs either early morning or during the workday when WFH (for lunch or right after school drop off). I also plan things with friends after 7 or 8 at night occasionally.

By late elementary/middle we had sports carpools pretty well figured out, kids could get themselves to and from school and carpools, and be home alone, which provided some free time in the late afternoon/early evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol. and you only have one.

Enough with the parent of only-child shaming, or whatever this is. I have one, and I'm crazy busy all the time. I take time out of my work day to try and squeeze my workout in. But as someone wiht a very busy DH who is the primary caretaker, having one child is extremely busy, too.

NP. I don’t see it as shaming. All else equal, two kids are more work than one. With two you would be crazy, crazy busy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol. and you only have one.

Enough with the parent of only-child shaming, or whatever this is. I have one, and I'm crazy busy all the time. I take time out of my work day to try and squeeze my workout in. But as someone wiht a very busy DH who is the primary caretaker, having one child is extremely busy, too.

It’s a lot less busy than multiple kids!

Why do you feel compelled to point this out? Do you even realize it might not necessarily be true? A parent of one with no family support and/or no nanny is probably a lot busier than one of these perfect parents of multiples with their nannies and grandparents.

Many people, myself included, have an only NOT BY CHOICE. When you and PPs make these cute little comments, especially when they aren't even responsive to the OP, you have NO IDEA how hurtful they are. Don't you think we've already excoriated ourselves over "having it easier"?

So just stop. It is cruel.

[Anonymous]

Cycling and running are my main hobbies. I generally do ~30min of one or the other during the workday, or I commute by bike. Office has a nice gym so when I am there I sometimes use it. On the weekends I do a longer run or ride. DH also has hobbies and mostly does them on weekends.

OP, I have an only child too, and while the smug tone from a PP earlier in the thread is irritating, there's a grain of truth to it. If you have an only child, there should be enough time for hobbies, even with a fairly busy job.

[Anonymous]

You cannot have it all, OP.

Alternatively, you could simply make a much higher income and send the kid off to boarding school at the earliest possible age.

Then you will have time for yourself you so desire.

[Anonymous]

You only have one kid. Your husband can help drive your kid. He is drop off age and he wouldn’t even have to stay. Time should be a non issue.

[Anonymous]

Earlier bedtime for the kid

[Anonymous]

Something has gotta give.

Limit your kid's activities. Make DH do some of the driving and drop offs. Hire a sitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have your own interests and how do you carve out the time outside of your kids? I have a kid in 3rd grade and I find myself taking my child to various sports and classes and it does not leave any convenient time for my own. I would like to try a martial arts class for instance but the adults class is at a separate time after kids class so where would my kid be when I am doing it? Similar issue for other things and it looks like most are setup for single people without kids. Weekends are a no go as well as my kid does a sport and I have to work some days or busy with another activity. It was easier when DC was in daycare/preschool and not in classes but looks like things are only ramping up. When does it get easier? Maybe when they can drive? My DH is supportive of us pursuing our interests but works long hours and is a homebody in general so not much help with after school activities.

Tough t!tt!es. He needs to get over it and do his share. Since you're only dealing with one (and I'm not saying that judgementally, it's just a logistical reality) it should be very possible for you to at least get one weekly activity on the books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You cannot have it all, OP.

Alternatively, you could simply make a much higher income and send the kid off to boarding school at the earliest possible age.

Then you will have time for yourself you so desire.

Wanting to carve out some time for hobbies is hardly an overreach, PP. The boarding school snark is unnecessary. No wonder this country suffers from obesity and mental health crises when a mom wanting some time for herself is catastrophized like this