What’s best way to handle visits from hearing-impaired family member?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean.
It's incredibly taxing and exhausting to constantly have to raise your voice, do this or that just to have the most basic of conversations. Sure, you can just not talk to that person anymore but what kind of relationship is this.
I don't think you can do much but your father tending to get his phone out and disengage completely reminds that hearing aid refusal can aid in developing dementia. They're giving up. It sucks one way or the other.

Wow, not much compassion here. It’s also incredibly taxing and exhausting to be hearing impaired. Maybe try slight accommodations so your family member can participate and enjoy themselves.

You know what would be a “slight accommodation “? A freaking hearing aid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: You should text him LOL

Yep. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Please focus on the comments from those with experience wearing hearing aids. It is NOT a cure. It is not a panacea. Ambient noise still messes with ability to understand spoken language. it is so hard to filter out everything. It is not a simple thing for your dad to just wear a hearing aid and presto, everything is solved!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Wow, not much compassion here. It’s also incredibly taxing and exhausting to be hearing impaired. Maybe try slight accommodations so your family member can participate and enjoy themselves.

I'll readily admit that my compassion is on a very low level after years, YEARS of trying to accommodate, trying to help, understanding the difficulties with hearing aids, understanding the mental challenges that go with this refusal, helping and going to doctors, trying different hearing aids, even trying different ways of communicating, and yet nothing but utter refusal to do anything. This person demands that we shout - and that's what we have to do in order for them to hear anything - to communicate. I've decided I'm tired of shouting. Now that person is pissed. Yeah, well, so be it. Their choice.

I have a deaf parent fwiw. It's possible that he's just obstinate and won't cooperate, but it's also possible he doesn't have enough residual hearing for a hearing aid to work. You have to be able to hear SOME in order to use a hearing aid. My parent doesn't have enough hearing, so all the hearing aids in the world won't do anything. They are not magical products. (A cochlear implant is kind of magical but it's also a big commitment).

You can look into table amplifiers that can work instead of shouting. Search "products for hard of hearing." And no more restaurants: that's #1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Wow, not much compassion here. It’s also incredibly taxing and exhausting to be hearing impaired. Maybe try slight accommodations so your family member can participate and enjoy themselves.

I'll readily admit that my compassion is on a very low level after years, YEARS of trying to accommodate, trying to help, understanding the difficulties with hearing aids, understanding the mental challenges that go with this refusal, helping and going to doctors, trying different hearing aids, even trying different ways of communicating, and yet nothing but utter refusal to do anything. This person demands that we shout - and that's what we have to do in order for them to hear anything - to communicate. I've decided I'm tired of shouting. Now that person is pissed. Yeah, well, so be it. Their choice.

I have a deaf parent fwiw. It's possible that he's just obstinate and won't cooperate, but it's also possible he doesn't have enough residual hearing for a hearing aid to work. You have to be able to hear SOME in order to use a hearing aid. My parent doesn't have enough hearing, so all the hearing aids in the world won't do anything. They are not magical products. (A cochlear implant is kind of magical but it's also a big commitment).

You can look into table amplifiers that can work instead of shouting. Search "products for hard of hearing." And no more restaurants: that's #1.

I have a child who is deaf with bilateral cochlear implants. DC can heat very soft sounds when perfectly silent, but in the real world the cochlear implants need accommodations. We

1) only watch TV with subtitles
2) don’t eat out at restaurants until we go early for breakfast (like 8 am) when it’s quiet
3) make sure we are directly looking at DC when conversing to help with lip reading
4) no centerpieces or anything on the table that blocks out line of view to help with lip reading
5) no background music at home

I think you might consider doing some of these things if you want your parent more engaged with your family during mealtimes/family time.

[Anonymous]

My DH in his mid-50s has some minor hearing loss. It doesn't impact his day-to-day life at all. We converse completely normally, don't need to use captions on the TV, he has no issues at work, etc. But restaurants and large gatherings are a real problem--he has difficulty following conversations. Hearing aids wouldn't be much help in these situations, as PPs have pointed out. It's not reasonable to expect a hard-of-hearing person to be able to hear in a crowd of people.

[Anonymous]

It is true that even with a hearing aid, restaurants are tough for me, or any other venue with lots of background noise. But without the aid, it would be impossible. I didn’t know how bad my hearing was until I got one, it has made my life 1000x better.