Please...can we just let this redshirting thing die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the kids in my child's second grade class just turned nine, yes, nine. The child is over a year older than mine and should be in third grade. My child, who is the proper age for second grade, is compared to "peers" who are in some cases over a year older. So why does redshirting irk the ever loving crap out of me? When I am told that my kid is having difficulty because of supposed immaturity, I have ask the question immature as compared to whom? Same age peers? Or the kids who are over a year older? No one has ever said that my child is immature as compared to same age peers. And when I ask that question, magically, I am never told my child is immature again. That is why it bothers me. Because redshirting negatively affects my own child's school experience.

I think you are rationalizing quite a bit here. There is probably - what - 1-2 kids who could possibly be that much older than your child who were redshirted. The comparison will be against your child's peer *group* - and that group is probably comprised of about 20+ kids around the same age as your child and 1-2 who are a little older. And quite frankly, probably a bunch who are YOUNGER too.

You don't like being told your child is immature and are blaming the system instead of taking a critical look at your child. As a mother with an "immature" son, I get that it is hard. But you are kidding yourself if you think that redshirting is negatively impacting your child's school experience.

I agree....and I am going to say...the kids at the extreme of redshirting (much older/not cut-off,summerkids)..prob have some extreme issues whether develop/social, etc. We had a 15-year old in my 7th grade and he was very 'strange' to say the least. there is prob a reason a kid that much older has been held back so long. I have to laugh at the crazies spouting off 'my child is so much smarter and better than "those redshirters". Good lord---listen to yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think the people asking about it have legitimate concerns. I don't think ppl take 'red-shirting' lightly. It is a hard and long-thought out decision for many parents..whether to send on-time or delay entry.

I have a boy with a bday just 3 days prior to the deadline so i don't think what we have decided to do is red-shirting since he would have only been 4 if we started him on time. STILL--we struggled long and hard and weighed several personal factors before arriving at our decision.

Most of the vitriol is from parents that have no intention of red-shirting--either because they don't have kids with borderline bdays, don't have a child with any delays, or don't have $ for another year of private preschool.

I find it ironic that the most competitive-type responses are from the parents that aren't red-shirting. Calling little kids 'flunkies' and trashing the parents, etc.

I think it is a personal decision. In most public schools it is not a big problem. Boys with borderline bdays (sept/aug) have been subject to redshirting since I was in K some 35 years ago. I think a lot of teh DC privates have taken it to an extreme, but you will not see a huge range of age differences in the typical DC, VA or MD public school.

I think the vitriol is directed at (1) parents who redshirt their child simply because the child's birthday is close to the cutoff, or during the summer, without any assessment of whether the child actually has delays or otherwise needs to be redshirted, and (2) parents whose definition of "delay" somehow comes down to their kid not being the best athlete in the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i think the people asking about it have legitimate concerns. I don't think ppl take 'red-shirting' lightly. It is a hard and long-thought out decision for many parents..whether to send on-time or delay entry.

I have a boy with a bday just 3 days prior to the deadline so i don't think what we have decided to do is red-shirting since he would have only been 4 if we started him on time. STILL--we struggled long and hard and weighed several personal factors before arriving at our decision.

Most of the vitriol is from parents that have no intention of red-shirting--either because they don't have kids with borderline bdays, don't have a child with any delays, or don't have $ for another year of private preschool.

I find it ironic that the most competitive-type responses are from the parents that aren't red-shirting. Calling little kids 'flunkies' and trashing the parents, etc.

I think it is a personal decision. In most public schools it is not a big problem. Boys with borderline bdays (sept/aug) have been subject to redshirting since I was in K some 35 years ago. I think a lot of teh DC privates have taken it to an extreme, but you will not see a huge range of age differences in the typical DC, VA or MD public school.

I think the vitriol is directed at (1) parents who redshirt their child simply because the child's birthday is close to the cutoff, or during the summer, without any assessment of whether the child actually has delays or otherwise needs to be redshirted, and (2) parents whose definition of "delay" somehow comes down to their kid not being the best athlete in the class.

Why would anyone have vitriol at a BOY that is a few days prior to the cut-off when the consensus from specialists (and just about everyone on these posts) does not even consider this 'red-shirting'? You have a late summer or late spring child, don't you? Fearful that your child will now be on the cuff?

[Anonymous]

You have a tough time with reading comprehension, don't you?

1. I wrote that the vitriol is directed at the parents, not the child.

2. "On the cuff" doesn't mean what you think it means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have a tough time with reading comprehension, don't you?

1. I wrote that the vitriol is directed at the parents, not the child.

2. "On the cuff" doesn't mean what you think it means.[/quote]

(Snicker.)

[Anonymous]

"One of the kids in my child's second grade class just turned nine, yes, nine. The child is over a year older than mine and should be in third grade. My child, who is the proper age for second grade, is compared to "peers" who are in some cases over a year older. So why does redshirting irk the ever loving crap out of me? When I am told that my kid is having difficulty because of supposed immaturity, I have ask the question immature as compared to whom? Same age peers? Or the kids who are over a year older? No one has ever said that my child is immature as compared to same age peers. And when I ask that question, magically, I am never told my child is immature again. That is why it bothers me. Because redshirting negatively affects my own child's school experience.

I think you are rationalizing quite a bit here. There is probably - what - 1-2 kids who could possibly be that much older than your child who were redshirted. The comparison will be against your child's peer *group* - and that group is probably comprised of about 20+ kids around the same age as your child and 1-2 who are a little older. And quite frankly, probably a bunch who are YOUNGER too. "

I both agree and disagree, if that makes any sense. I do think having older kids in a class raises the expectation bar on maturity, even if it is only 1 or 2 kids. I do think though that there is a positive benefit to having older kids in classes. DD has one good friend who is a year older and one good friend who is a little more than 6 months younger but on the more immature side. Her older friend is mature for her age and I have noticed that when DD plays with her she models her behavior more. When DD plays with her younger friend she completely regresses and acts more like the younger friend. My DD is very social and adapts to different people and groups and for her the influence of older kids is very positive.

DD is also in a gymnastics class that ranges from age 5-7. She started when she just turned 5 and there 7.5 years olds who had been doing it for years. No she wasn't the best in the class by far but she loved being in the class with the older kids and seeing what they could do. We went to an open a gym once with one of the older girls who helped her learn how to do a cartwheel. Now that DD knows more she enjoys helping the younger kids. I don't think she would have been as excited about it if her class had all been first time just turned 5 year olds.

One of the problems may be that traditional teachers are not used to dealing with kids on larger range of maturity or other skills on one class. The model of we move as one big unit and some are behind and some are ahead is problematic to me on several levels. I'm not sure I would want to do Montessori for elementary school but the approach of mixing ages and capabilities within one class has many benefits. It would be nice if public schools could maybe integrate some of the ways Montessori does this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not enroll your child in a school where the kids in the same grade will be years older than him/her. BUT -- if your kid truly could keep up, the age would not matter -- I skipped K and 1st grades. I was 2 years younger than my peers. And I was at the top of the class all the way through. Your kid, if smart enough, could keep up with the red shirts. If not, go elsewhere.

It's not about academics or August birthdays. It's about social, athletic leadership. The redshirts flock together , play date then party together. Athletic superstars of the 7th grade.

I'm baffled as to why parents bring up kids with special needs on these threads. just how many special needs kids are at Mater Dei or Landon or STA? Any who would have been in team taught or self-contained sped classes in public school due to academic levels?

So the dilemma is what to do with your kid. If these schools are taking students born in Jan-Aug [or even the prior calendar year] are you hurting your own kid by sending them in the proper academic year? What comes first? Academics or sports? It's a gamble because the older ones have growth and maturity - make teams as starters and get game time. Build confidence while the younger ones sit on the bench or are not really part of the team.

For college you are better off redshirting to the max since any asset could help them. Did we redshirt? No and it never entered the picture because we were not aware of this BS except for summer Bdays. If I could do it again I'd have the child repeat in Middle school or grade 9 via a school change. there is no point to it if the child has zero interest and ability in sports.

Big buster would then get his lovely self into an Ivy/Duke, etc. And that my dears is why they do it....

The point of the RS threads really should be how and when to do it. It should not be done in elementary since academics just wouldn't be enough .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not enroll your child in a school where the kids in the same grade will be years older than him/her. BUT -- if your kid truly could keep up, the age would not matter -- I skipped K and 1st grades. I was 2 years younger than my peers. And I was at the top of the class all the way through. Your kid, if smart enough, could keep up with the red shirts. If not, go elsewhere.

It's not about academics or August birthdays. It's about social, athletic leadership. The redshirts flock together , play date then party together. Athletic superstars of the 7th grade.

I'm baffled as to why parents bring up kids with special needs on these threads. just how many special needs kids are at Mater Dei or Landon or STA? Any who would have been in team taught or self-contained sped classes in public school due to academic levels?

So the dilemma is what to do with your kid. If these schools are taking students born in Jan-Aug [or even the prior calendar year] are you hurting your own kid by sending them in the proper academic year? What comes first? Academics or sports? It's a gamble because the older ones have growth and maturity - make teams as starters and get game time. Build confidence while the younger ones sit on the bench or are not really part of the team.

For college you are better off redshirting to the max since any asset could help them. Did we redshirt? No and it never entered the picture because we were not aware of this BS except for summer Bdays. If I could do it again I'd have the child repeat in Middle school or grade 9 via a school change. there is no point to it if the child has zero interest and ability in sports.

Big buster would then get his lovely self into an Ivy/Duke, etc. And that my dears is why they do it....

The point of the RS threads really should be how and when to do it. It should not be done in elementary since academics just wouldn't be enough .

great post. i'll do as you suggested - repeat in Middle school or grade 9 via a school change. tks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not enroll your child in a school where the kids in the same grade will be years older than him/her. BUT -- if your kid truly could keep up, the age would not matter -- I skipped K and 1st grades. I was 2 years younger than my peers. And I was at the top of the class all the way through. Your kid, if smart enough, could keep up with the red shirts. If not, go elsewhere.

It's not about academics or August birthdays. It's about social, athletic leadership. The redshirts flock together , play date then party together. Athletic superstars of the 7th grade.

I'm baffled as to why parents bring up kids with special needs on these threads. just how many special needs kids are at Mater Dei or Landon or STA? Any who would have been in team taught or self-contained sped classes in public school due to academic levels?

So the dilemma is what to do with your kid. If these schools are taking students born in Jan-Aug [or even the prior calendar year] are you hurting your own kid by sending them in the proper academic year? What comes first? Academics or sports? It's a gamble because the older ones have growth and maturity - make teams as starters and get game time. Build confidence while the younger ones sit on the bench or are not really part of the team.

For college you are better off redshirting to the max since any asset could help them. Did we redshirt? No and it never entered the picture because we were not aware of this BS except for summer Bdays. If I could do it again I'd have the child repeat in Middle school or grade 9 via a school change. there is no point to it if the child has zero interest and ability in sports.

Big buster would then get his lovely self into an Ivy/Duke, etc. And that my dears is why they do it....

The point of the RS threads really should be how and when to do it. It should not be done in elementary since academics just wouldn't be enough .

As it has been beaten to death...this is not a problem in PUBLIC schools. Boys with late August/September bdays have been held back for decades this is nothing new. What is new is the extreme of red-shirting that is occurring (being required) by the private schools in this area.

And--f*ck u on the cuff!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"One of the kids in my child's second grade class just turned nine, yes, nine. The child is over a year older than mine and should be in third grade. My child, who is the proper age for second grade, is compared to "peers" who are in some cases over a year older. So why does redshirting irk the ever loving crap out of me? When I am told that my kid is having difficulty because of supposed immaturity, I have ask the question immature as compared to whom? Same age peers? Or the kids who are over a year older? No one has ever said that my child is immature as compared to same age peers. And when I ask that question, magically, I am never told my child is immature again. That is why it bothers me. Because redshirting negatively affects my own child's school experience.

I think you are rationalizing quite a bit here. There is probably - what - 1-2 kids who could possibly be that much older than your child who were redshirted. The comparison will be against your child's peer *group* - and that group is probably comprised of about 20+ kids around the same age as your child and 1-2 who are a little older. And quite frankly, probably a bunch who are YOUNGER too. "

I both agree and disagree, if that makes any sense. I do think having older kids in a class raises the expectation bar on maturity, even if it is only 1 or 2 kids. I do think though that there is a positive benefit to having older kids in classes. DD has one good friend who is a year older and one good friend who is a little more than 6 months younger but on the more immature side. Her older friend is mature for her age and I have noticed that when DD plays with her she models her behavior more. When DD plays with her younger friend she completely regresses and acts more like the younger friend. My DD is very social and adapts to different people and groups and for her the influence of older kids is very positive.

DD is also in a gymnastics class that ranges from age 5-7. She started when she just turned 5 and there 7.5 years olds who had been doing it for years. No she wasn't the best in the class by far but she loved being in the class with the older kids and seeing what they could do. We went to an open a gym once with one of the older girls who helped her learn how to do a cartwheel. Now that DD knows more she enjoys helping the younger kids. I don't think she would have been as excited about it if her class had all been first time just turned 5 year olds.

One of the problems may be that traditional teachers are not used to dealing with kids on larger range of maturity or other skills on one class. The model of we move as one big unit and some are behind and some are ahead is problematic to me on several levels. I'm not sure I would want to do Montessori for elementary school but the approach of mixing ages and capabilities within one class has many benefits. It would be nice if public schools could maybe integrate some of the ways Montessori does this.

It has all started since the schools have changed K into second grade for standardized testing reasons. Homework, full-day with very little recess...does not make a good mix for a 4-year old boy who is tell a 'kid'.

[Anonymous]

Redshirting (why is that the term, I wonder?) is a huge issue for my family. I'm sorry if it annoys people, but I read everything I can on it.
My older brother (Dec. 26th birthday back when Jan. 1 was the cut-off) was pushed ahead a grade because he was socially and academically very advanced. He was reading before he was four. When we switched from public to private school, he was held back in 7th grade (basically he repeated 6th grade) because he was very short and suffering socially. And the academics were probably more rigorous in the private school. The decision made sense, but my brother was devastated at being held back with kids he felt were younger than he was and he felt he was considered stupid in his new school.

With my younger brother, also a late December birthday. my parents did not make the same mistake and he excelled--he was bigger than most of the other children (important to boys) and average or below academically. Very different from my older brother.

Now my child has speech delays and is quite petite. There is NO WAY I'm putting her in a class with children who are bigger and who speak well. I'm holding her back any way I can. So far, schools I've contacted have been receptive. If a teacher cannot understand a child, she doesn't belong in kindergarden. I'd rather have her repeat pre-K and excel later than be pushed ahead for social reasons.
Thanks for all who contribute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I read one more redshirting topic, I am going to scream. Let's just let parents make their own decisions and leave it at that.

That's like asking people to mind their own business and expecting them to get the message.

Good luck, sister but there's a whole world of spiteful big-nosed, wide-assed busybodies out there just waiting to snark about your child because they're not succeeding with their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I read one more redshirting topic, I am going to scream. Let's just let parents make their own decisions and leave it at that.

That's like asking people to mind their own business and expecting them to get the message.

Good luck, sister but there's a whole world of spiteful big-nosed, wide-assed busybodies out there just waiting to snark about your child because they're not succeeding with their own.

I LOVE this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Redshirting (why is that the term, I wonder?) is a huge issue for my family. I'm sorry if it annoys people, but I read everything I can on it.
My older brother (Dec. 26th birthday back when Jan. 1 was the cut-off) was pushed ahead a grade because he was socially and academically very advanced. He was reading before he was four. When we switched from public to private school, he was held back in 7th grade (basically he repeated 6th grade) because he was very short and suffering socially. And the academics were probably more rigorous in the private school. The decision made sense, but my brother was devastated at being held back with kids he felt were younger than he was and he felt he was considered stupid in his new school.

With my younger brother, also a late December birthday. my parents did not make the same mistake and he excelled--he was bigger than most of the other children (important to boys) and average or below academically. Very different from my older brother.

Now my child has speech delays and is quite petite. There is NO WAY I'm putting her in a class with children who are bigger and who speak well. I'm holding her back any way I can. So far, schools I've contacted have been receptive. If a teacher cannot understand a child, she doesn't belong in kindergarden. I'd rather have her repeat pre-K and excel later than be pushed ahead for social reasons.
Thanks for all who contribute.

when is her bday? is it summer? I think it is far less common with girls.
Also, wouldn't the best thing to do be to get her speech therapy rather than just hold her back?