Better to be a big fish in a small pond?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a very shy smart kid and we are zoned for Langley. He has a nice group of friends but I feel he is getting lost in his large classes. I worry he will not shine. We have the means to pay for private school and want my kid to have a positive high school experience.

From a college admissions standpoint, would it be better to be a top kid at a small/medium private compared to a good student at a top public?

Every single kid at Langley seems so similar to one another. Everyone has perfect grades. Everyone plays a sport or two well. Everyone plays an instrument or does some other artsy extracurricular. Everyone is this well rounded carbon copy of one another.

No, everyone is not a carbon copy of each other. My oldest is shy and was not involved in a lot of activities, but he fared just fine. No, he's not at an Ivy or even a T50, but he's doing exactly what he wants to do. He's happy. And he was well-prepared for college. I can't tell you whether a private school would be better, but Langley has some really good extracurricular activities that will allow your child to be part of something meaningful to him. My daughter is there now -- a completely different child -- but has found her own way to shine. Don't fall into that trap of thinking you have to get a 9.0 gpa and go to the "best" school to be successful. There are a ton of kids at Langley who will be going to "regular" schools.

[Anonymous]

You will receive a great great deal more college counseling and admissions support at the private school. Basically zero in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
As someone who's been the big fish (not by choice), there is a cost to it too. When you basically can cruise through school half asleep and writing with your left foot, you are not developing the skills you should be developing. You simply don't know what you don't know. And no one is paying attention because "you'll do fine, no matter what"

Do you feel the same applies to college? Meaning, is it better to go to a top, top school or is it better to go to a lesser ranked school and be the big fish at college?

Like many of the readers, my kid has been going to large, public schools her entire schooling life in MCPS. I view college as her chance to get the smaller, private experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a very shy smart kid and we are zoned for Langley. He has a nice group of friends but I feel he is getting lost in his large classes. I worry he will not shine. We have the means to pay for private school and want my kid to have a positive high school experience.

From a college admissions standpoint, would it be better to be a top kid at a small/medium private compared to a good student at a top public?

Every single kid at Langley seems so similar to one another. Everyone has perfect grades. Everyone plays a sport or two well. Everyone plays an instrument or does some other artsy extracurricular. Everyone is this well rounded carbon copy of one another.

No, everyone is not a carbon copy of each other. My oldest is shy and was not involved in a lot of activities, but he fared just fine. No, he's not at an Ivy or even a T50, but he's doing exactly what he wants to do. He's happy. And he was well-prepared for college. I can't tell you whether a private school would be better, but Langley has some really good extracurricular activities that will allow your child to be part of something meaningful to him. My daughter is there now -- a completely different child -- but has found her own way to shine. Don't fall into that trap of thinking you have to get a 9.0 gpa and go to the "best" school to be successful. There are a ton of kids at Langley who will be going to "regular" schools.[/quote

I am not sure why OP thinks private schools are any better. Private schools are just as hard and competitive as Langley HS. Potomac school is about one mile from Langley HS on the other side of Dolley Madison 123. Potomac school is much more competitive than Langley HS with much smaller class size. It is one of the hardest schools to get accepted into along with STA and Sidwell.

[Anonymous]

If you can afford it send the kid where they will be happy. No one here can speak to how your child feels, people can only speak from personal anecdotal experience. For me personally I went to a small private high school. It was better academically but I hated it. Cliques. My children went public and loved it. If the kid is happy and thriving who cares. If your kid is unhappy, look at other options, but as others have pointed out private schools tend to be harder not easier.

If Ivy isn’t a consideration, and it isn’t for most, then going to a public won’t stop your kid from doing what they want to do if they have the ability and work hard. If they cannot keep up with peers, it isn’t the end of the world. If they are happy and working hard, they are going to be ok in the long run. It sounds like maybe your kid is not happy doing the rat race? Only your family can know the proper balance. The balance was different for each of my children. It can be hard deciding how much to push. But if the kid is miserable, maybe time to start cutting back. Private school won’t help that. It will be worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a very shy smart kid and we are zoned for Langley. He has a nice group of friends but I feel he is getting lost in his large classes. I worry he will not shine. We have the means to pay for private school and want my kid to have a positive high school experience.

From a college admissions standpoint, would it be better to be a top kid at a small/medium private compared to a good student at a top public?

Every single kid at Langley seems so similar to one another. Everyone has perfect grades. Everyone plays a sport or two well. Everyone plays an instrument or does some other artsy extracurricular. Everyone is this well rounded carbon copy of one another.

As the mother of 2 shy kids, please do not undervalue this. We moved one of our boys during covid and he's still doesn't feel like he's made friends at his private school and it's very hard to watch.

And fwiw, this area is competitive. There is no guarantee your kid will "shine" (and I'm assuming you mean more than academically) in private school. There are smart, accomplished, polished, social, outgoing kids at every school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a very shy smart kid and we are zoned for Langley. He has a nice group of friends but I feel he is getting lost in his large classes. I worry he will not shine. We have the means to pay for private school and want my kid to have a positive high school experience.

From a college admissions standpoint, would it be better to be a top kid at a small/medium private compared to a good student at a top public?

Every single kid at Langley seems so similar to one another. Everyone has perfect grades. Everyone plays a sport or two well. Everyone plays an instrument or does some other artsy extracurricular. Everyone is this well rounded carbon copy of one another.

As the mother of 2 shy kids, please do not undervalue this. We moved one of our boys during covid and he's still doesn't feel like he's made friends at his private school and it's very hard to watch.

And fwiw, this area is competitive. There is no guarantee your kid will "shine" (and I'm assuming you mean more than academically) in private school. There are smart, accomplished, polished, social, outgoing kids at every school.

OP here. I appreciate your comment. DS has friends from elementary and has added a few in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Better to be a big fish in a small pond compared with being a small fish in a big pond. I believe that’s been borne out psychological research

As someone who's been the big fish (not by choice), there is a cost to it too. When you basically can cruise through school half asleep and writing with your left foot, you are not developing the skills you should be developing. You simply don't know what you don't know. And no one is paying attention because "you'll do fine, no matter what"

This happened to me. Freshman year of college was very rough. I bounced back, but a couple of first semester Cs in weed out classes led to me switching majors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
As someone who's been the big fish (not by choice), there is a cost to it too. When you basically can cruise through school half asleep and writing with your left foot, you are not developing the skills you should be developing. You simply don't know what you don't know. And no one is paying attention because "you'll do fine, no matter what"

Do you feel the same applies to college? Meaning, is it better to go to a top, top school or is it better to go to a lesser ranked school and be the big fish at college?

Like many of the readers, my kid has been going to large, public schools her entire schooling life in MCPS. I view college as her chance to get the smaller, private experience.

It depends on the college. Unless your child is an absolute genius, they will not be a big fish to that extent at Amherst/Williams/Swarthmore... but if you're talking about Goucher or Shenandoah then they are running that risk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a very shy smart kid and we are zoned for Langley. He has a nice group of friends but I feel he is getting lost in his large classes. I worry he will not shine. We have the means to pay for private school and want my kid to have a positive high school experience.

From a college admissions standpoint, would it be better to be a top kid at a small/medium private compared to a good student at a top public?

Every single kid at Langley seems so similar to one another. Everyone has perfect grades. Everyone plays a sport or two well. Everyone plays an instrument or does some other artsy extracurricular. Everyone is this well rounded carbon copy of one another.

How sure are you that your kid will end up as a big fish at a private? Even if you seek out mediocre privates, there are very smart kids everywhere

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
As someone who's been the big fish (not by choice), there is a cost to it too. When you basically can cruise through school half asleep and writing with your left foot, you are not developing the skills you should be developing. You simply don't know what you don't know. And no one is paying attention because "you'll do fine, no matter what"

Do you feel the same applies to college? Meaning, is it better to go to a top, top school or is it better to go to a lesser ranked school and be the big fish at college?

Like many of the readers, my kid has been going to large, public schools her entire schooling life in MCPS. I view college as her chance to get the smaller, private experience.

It depends on the college. Unless your child is an absolute genius, they will not be a big fish to that extent at Amherst/Williams/Swarthmore... but if you're talking about Goucher or Shenandoah then they are running that risk

99.999% of students at expensive colleges end up with the same salary as students from UMD, UVA or VATech.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
As someone who's been the big fish (not by choice), there is a cost to it too. When you basically can cruise through school half asleep and writing with your left foot, you are not developing the skills you should be developing. You simply don't know what you don't know. And no one is paying attention because "you'll do fine, no matter what"

Do you feel the same applies to college? Meaning, is it better to go to a top, top school or is it better to go to a lesser ranked school and be the big fish at college?

Like many of the readers, my kid has been going to large, public schools her entire schooling life in MCPS. I view college as her chance to get the smaller, private experience.

It depends on the college. Unless your child is an absolute genius, they will not be a big fish to that extent at Amherst/Williams/Swarthmore... but if you're talking about Goucher or Shenandoah then they are running that risk

99.999% of students at expensive colleges end up with the same salary as students from UMD, UVA or VATech.

False