Do you still buy birthday gifts for your adult children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, do they give you gifts for yours?

This shouldn't matter.

It shouldn't but its a valid question and me too would like to see answers.

OP here, no my kids do not give me birthday gifts. My parents stopped giving me birthday gifts years ago, I really don't remember when. I haven't seen my parents on my birthday in probably 20 years. My birthday or my husband's birthday is celebrated with dinner and a dessert. My kids call me on my birthday (they are always away at college for the past few years), and that's about it. Which is perfectly fine and enough for me.

Of course we go out to dinner as a family (if said adult child is home), and the day will be acknowledged. We've never not given gifts, but now the relationship is evolving. Not sure what gift to give. Just thought I'd check to see what other families do. We certainly weren't going to ignore it.

[Anonymous]

My kids are late 20s and yes, we give them birthday gifts. Christmas too. Usually pretty substantial. And once they became adults they started giving us gifts as well.

My parents are more episodic on gifts at this point - which is totally fine with me since I don't need anything I can't buy. ILs are dead but they did bday cards and Christmas gifts until the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Err my mom still gives me a birthday gift card and I’m 53. Ny DHs parents write him a check and he’s 54.

+1 same in our family, and we all keep giving gifts 'til death

[Anonymous]

I'd be so sad if my parents didn't give me birthday gifts. Honestly I'd probably cry and I'm not into presents at all. My grandparents and inlaws send birthday gifts to me as well. Flowers, gift card, check, whatever. It's more about people remembering you.

[Anonymous]

When I was in my 20s my Mom would mail be a card with check or cash inside and a little note to take a friend out to dinner. It was always so awesome and I loved it.

Now that I'm in my 40s she treats me to babysitting but the meal is on me haha.

[Anonymous]

Oh we certainly give them a gift, even if it's one gift. We probably miss the mark. We might try very hard and never know that he won't re-gift it (or sell it .. is he doing that?) Not sure what happens to it. We never buy anything so large or that we're so invested in, that we would be resentful if it seemed to go missing.

[Anonymous]

My kid is 23 years old and working full time (he graduated last year).  I bought him a brand new Tesla Model 3 for his 22nd birthday and on his 23rd birthday, I bought a young adult golf membership for 38K initiation fee.  I will pay the 900/month fee for the next ten years.  After that, he will be responsible for the monthly fee.  Yes, it is normally to buy presents for adult children.

[Anonymous]

Of course. Usually a small gift and then money. Really, they just want the cash. 😂

[Anonymous]

Everyone gets $100 for their birthday except my greedy DIL. She gets another reason to hate me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's important to keep acknowledging birthdays but whether a gift makes sense depends on the person and the family. I often give my DD a small piece of jewelry or a piece of clothing, something around $100. But we have similar taste in jewelry and clothes and I know she doesn't like to spend her money on stuff like that for herself. But if I'm not sure what she might want, I might also take her shopping, or just take her out to a nice lunch and giver her a card with money and a note telling her to get something indulgent and not just put it in savings. Sometimes I'll give her two checks, one for savings and one for something fun, just to make sure she spends it on herself. I think it's nice to remind her that it's okay to treat herself. She's so conscientious, which is wonderful, and a good saver and careful with her money. I was that way too but I sometimes wish I'd gone ahead and treated myself more often. So I try to pay that forward by treating her.

But maybe your son would enjoy an experience, or just a nice meal out, or a gift certificate to a local restaurant where he might take a friend or date. Other ideas: a streaming subscription, thoughtful book purchases, an upgrade on a personal item like a watch or a piece of technology. It just depends on the person, the relationship, and your budget. But yes, you should do something. Just because he's grown doesn't mean he's not family anymore. I assume you still buy a birthday gift for your spouse or your siblings, right?

Love this! I am a gift giver and will continue to celebrate my child's birthday as long as I am alive. My child is very young and birthdays are a big deal to me and my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone gets $100 for their birthday except my greedy DIL. She gets another reason to hate me.

Hah. One of my DC's has an evil greedy MIL. Doesn't even give her own kid birthday, Hanukkah, or Christmas. Pre and post marriage. We gave college now adult DC's usually 250-500 birthdays. Christmas 500 plus small stuff to open - one year all needed gloves and then there's also candy, food delivery. Never buy random stuff. Restaurants are always chosen by them -location, date, time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is 23 years old and working full time (he graduated last year).  I bought him a brand new Tesla Model 3 for his 22nd birthday and on his 23rd birthday, I bought a young adult golf membership for 38K initiation fee.  I will pay the 900/month fee for the next ten years.  After that, he will be responsible for the monthly fee.  Yes, it is normally to buy presents for adult children.

Are you in the market to adopt a middle aged woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, do they give you gifts for yours?

This shouldn't matter.

Disagree. If the kids are celebrating the parents (even if in their more modest budgets) it’d be messed up for the parents not to reciprocate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand during college or what not, they may appreciate cash. At this point my adult son (21) works full time, while finishing up school (which we pay for). He doesn’t really need anything. I’m not even sure what get him or if we should carry on with birthday gifts?

What do you do for your adult kids’ on their birthday?

Bake a cake, give movie or dinner gift card, knit a sweater, buy a tie, gifts (big or small) make everyone happy.

I would love it if my mom made a cake or a favorite dish from my childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so sad if my parents didn't give me birthday gifts. Honestly I'd probably cry and I'm not into presents at all. My grandparents and inlaws send birthday gifts to me as well. Flowers, gift card, check, whatever. It's more about people remembering you.

+1 same in my family